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totallynotagentphilcoulson:

pyronoid-d:

ironnyan:

pyronoid-d:

seasonalweasel:

pyronoid-d:

Pixels is probably gonna make it’s money back, which is honestly the worst thing ever

Tell everyone about your Adam Sandler racketeering theory

That’s not a theory, that is absolutely what he is fucking doing

Okay Dean, I need you tell me about your Adam Sandler racketeering theory.

Okay so Sandler movies get lots of viewers (for some reason) right so he can go to a big fucking studio like Sony Pictures (Pixels) and say “yo gimme $88 million dollars to make a movie” and since thats always worked before and his films have always made a return no matter how fucking awful they are (Mall Cop 2 made over 3x budget, Zohan made over 2x, Jack & Jill just barely missed out on 2x budget) they say “yeah go on then”

So now Sandler has $80 million to make a film with, and a bunch of friends who need paychecks to live on, right? So he just pays them for whatever half-assed performance they give (Kevin James, David Spade, Rob Schneider, etc) and they make a fucking movie. and its awful, but get this right

Product placement. In Gilmore, Happy gets sponsored by Subway to play golf, and in Jack & Jill, the plot of the movie basically revolves around advertising, specifically for Dunkin Donuts. You’ve got Gatorade in Waterboy, McDonalds and Hooters in Big Daddy, Popeyes Chicken in Little Nicky, Wendys in Mr Deeds, Bed Bath & Beyond in Click, MySpace in Funny People, KFC in Grown Ups (Kevin James is a fat man), and a bottle or can of Budweiser is in nearly every scene of That’s My Boy,

So basically, Sandler gets paid ridiculous amounts of money to make a film, gets paid even more money for product placement, then just pays his friends, and throws together an absolutely god awful film. And apparently because “Happy Gilmore/Billy Madison was funny!” (hint: they weren’t), people still go see his films twenty years later. And since he’s part producer on some of these films, he makes even more when stupid people go to see his films!

You know, it’s absolutely amazing. Under the right circumstances, a filmmaker could make more money with a flop then he could with a hit!