yourplayersaidwhat:

(I’m playing through the “Lost Mine of Phandelver” adventure with my players, most of whom have never played any form of RPG before. They managed to get past the guards at the beginning of the goblin hideout and even managed to convince one to guide them safely through the cave, thanks to an amazing bit of persuasion from the smooth-talking elven sorcerer. Their guide, Tommy, takes them past a room of wolves on the way to meet his boss.)

Me, DM: Okay, so, you come up to this group of wolves, which are all snarling and obviously very hungry. They’ve clearly been trained as attack animals, not as pets, and as you approach, one even lunges at you as if to try and take a bite. Before it can do so, however, Tommy makes a sharp noise and commands it to stand down. The wolf slinks back in obvious fear. 

(Our elven druid’s player starts visibly trembling with excitement as soon as I mention the wolves.)

Druid, OOC: I’ve always wanted an animal companion!! Can I, like, talk to it? Make it my friend? Can I love it like my own child?

DM: Uh, sure, roll animal handling to see how it reacts.

(She rolls a nat 20 for a total of 24)

DM: Yeah, okay, how do you become freakin’ BFF’s with this starving, savage wolf?

Druid, OCC: I pull out some of my food and give it to them!

Aasimar monk, OOC: (laughing) But aren’t you vegan? What do you give it, a rice cake?

Druid, OOC: I give it an apple! And they like it!

DM: (sighs) Sure, yeah, you give this carnivorous predator an apple and it falls head over heels in love with you. Congratulations, you’re the first person in this wolf’s life to show it a shred of kindness, and now it will never leave your side.

Druid, OOC: Can I name it?

DM: Sure.

Druid: I’m going to name you Neko!

Sorcerer: You’re naming your wolf “cat?”

Druid: When you get your own wolf you can name it whatever you want, but mine’s name is Neko!

(For the rest of the session, and even afterwards, the player continued to talk to “Neko” as if they were in the room with us, occasionally “feeding” them chips from under the table.)