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gallusrostromegalus:

systlin:

all-part-of-the-act:

systlin:

My neighbor was out taking the insulation cones off of his roses and carefully pruning them today. 

I also went out and pruned mine. (I didn’t give them any special winter insulation. They’re on their own.) And by ‘pruned’ I mean ‘whacked back the bramble hedge with a machete where it was threatening to grow out of bounds’. 

(Seriously my rose hedge is approaching 4 feet tall and almost as thick)

And he was giving me dirty looks the whole time because it pisses him off so much that I pay no special attention to my roses and yet they always do better than his. 

I still haven’t told him that my secret is ‘plant tough-as-nails own root old fashioned rugosa cultivars rather than finicky hybrid teas’ because honestly his quiet frustration is hilarious. 

a few centuries ago he probably would have accused u of witchcraft 😉

I mean…to be fair…he would be totally correct in that…

Combine Knife-based magic with D&D to create Magic Machete!