Tonight’s dinner is a cheese and apple sampler with ice water because it’s hotter than Satan’s own asshole out here and the $4 and under cheese basket had good stuff. From the top- Irish cheddar and Pacific rose apple, aged goat cheese and ambrosia apple, young manchego and a granny Smith apple. Paired with ice water for me and Chardonnay for parents.
when I eat a block of cheese for dinner it’s a depression meal
I mean my depression is pretty awful right now too, which is the other reason I didn’t feel like cooking.
But! An Apple is something you don’t have to cook either, and if it’s safe for you to handle knives, you can cut it up and go full Ratatouille on this bitch for not much more effort. Heck, if you’ve got the budget for it, go nuts and dry some balsalmic vinegar or chutney or Hot Sauce (really, fance cheese and hot sauce is a good combo. Fance cheese, An Fruit and Hot Suace id GREAT). If you’re a meat-eating person, cured meats also don’t need to be cooked and go great with this.
Humans have been doing this “I Don’t Feel Like Cooking” kind of meal forever, and if you wanna be real fancy, you can call it a charcuterie board* and serve it at parties and impress your friends and neighbors and maybe even your mother-in-law!
Also, you will have eaten An Fruit, for which you innards will be grateful.
For me, making “Basic Chore Of Shoving Calories Into An Unwilling Vessel” into “An Art Project I Can Show To Friends” helps motivate me to actually fucking eat something really well. If that feels like too many expectations, you can also turn food into “Flavor Science Expiriment” or “Using Up Comdiments Game” or “I Actually Have A Nice Thing, So I’m Going To Eat It While Watching Netflix In My Jammies Becuase Sometimes Ya Gotta Make It A Special Occasion” or whatever the fuck else weird justification/game/context helps you put calories in your foodhole.
Or just eat your block of cheese and fuck the haters because societal expectations are dumb and you’re a good person who is worth keeping alive and you go eat that cheese.
*Some of the europeans might have standards about what actually goes on a
charcuterie board, like actual charcuteries/certain types of cured meats, but this blog already subscribes to Radical Sandwich Anarchy so but whatever you damn want on your Summer Depression Food Board becuase the real important thing here is that you take care of yourself and if you can find a way to make eating fun again, that’s fucking awesome.
Add some cured meat, nuts, bread, butter, and preserves and you have a true plowman’s board. It’s essentially what man ate for thousands of years.
Trust me. That’s not a depression meal. It’s a return to instinctual comfort.
Take the advice of your local cryptid and satisfy your inner omnivore primate and eat a bunch of uncooked goodies and go have an agricultural revolution or sit around admiring the scenery like we were meant to.