My cats have me trained to such a perfect routine, it’s hilarious.
- Wait for alarm to go off in the morning and then insist on cuddles. If alarm does not go off and human is attempting to sleep-in, wake her up at the same time anyways.
- Insist on being picked up and cuddled while human is preparing breakfast.
- Yell at her when she leaves for work. If she doesn’t leave for work occupy the cat bed on the desk and the top of desk chair to observe her and get cuddles all day.
- Insist on dinner at PRECISELY six o’clock. Precisely. Scream until delivery.
- Start screaming for reading cuddles at precisely nine o’clock. Lead human to bedroom. Grey cat shall tuck self under left arm and on top of left boob while reading occurs. Black cat shall snuggle by feet.
- Grey cat shall sleep next to left side of human. Black cat shall sleep on human’s pillow.
- Repeat.
Every day. Every. Day. They’ve got a better sense of time than I do.
I think cats only have One Day, and it’s This Day. Dogs might have three our four days, like This Day, This Day That Is Different Every Few Days, A Hypothetical Tomorrow and THE APOCALYPSE.