unpopular opinion: i think you are a genuinely nice chaotic entity??? like i’m scared of you but i’d trust you to buy eggs for me at the grocery store on time?
don’t trust me with that
someone tell the microwave story
The Microwave Story
So. Gaud made a post about how to make an easy hard boiled egg or something similar. They said to just put an egg in the microwave for a few minutes. So I, an absolute fool, believed this HEATHEN. so there I was feeling good, I just learned this cool new thing! But I was wrong. So very wrong. I put the egg in the microwave. No big deal. I pushed the 2 minute button. “This will be so cool” I lied to myself. I went to go grab my phone from the living room to document this for tumblr.com as you know, proof. About a minuet in i heard this weird gunshot sound coming from the kitchen. Me an ABSOLUTE IDIOT, ran into the room of danger. The microwaves door had burst open. There was egg everywhere, on the table, under the fridge, across the hall. I never could get it all out. The light had gone out. My innocence died. I’ve had to go therapy for years because of this. I can no longer find it in myself to trust anyone. Not even my closest friends. Gaud ruined me. All because of an egg. I can still smell it. It’s like PTSD flashbacks Everytime I open the microwave. Look, I used to be the smart kid. What happened?
*smiles quietly*
Are.. are your smiles not usually quiet @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
well i’m quiet but they do usually invoke screaming