Paladin™: when you’re kinda feeling cleric but also want to Stab
Sorcerer™: when you wanna be a caster but you don’t wanna be a nerd
Bard™: when you’ve never made a decision in your life and you don’t intend to start now
Warlock™: when you’re not quite ready to admit you’re into cryptids like that
Druid™: when honestly you’d rather be on the floor petting the DM’s cat but they made you play and this is the next best thing you guess
Fighter™: when all the weird puzzle shit bores the snot out of you and you’d rather stack dice til the fighting part gets here
Rogue™: when you’ve never solved a problem in your life, and in fact have caused many, and you’re just fine with that honestly
Cleric™: when your friends are a gaggle of idiots with a deathwish and you’re the only person who’s capable of saving them from themselves