the hill on which i will not budge: the apocalypse, the spawning of the antichrist, the great war, and the whole ineffable plan was just god playing the long game so she could get crowley and aziraphale together after 6000 years of faffing.
see originally this was just written as pure nonsense, but i’ve thought about it now and am very definitely picturing good omens’ god as one of those fic writers using all the tropes to devise wonderful and impossible scenarios to get her ship together
only it never works because of that whole pesky free will malarkey
hotel receptionist: mister crowley, mister aziraphale, there appears to have been an error with your booking. you’ve somehow been booked into the same room – and there’s only one bed.
god: oh no
god: only one bed
god: what will they do?
god: hee hee hee
aziraphale: not to worry old boy, you take the bed while I read all night in the hotel lounge so as not to make you feel uncomfortable. angels don’t need sleep anyway, you know.
god:…for the love of me.