A sitcom about the modern Greek gods where everyone is wildly miscast
Zeus is played by Michael Cera
đđđđ Hephaestus is Nikolaj Coster-Waldau
@seerofbirds has cast Danny DeVito as Aphrodite and @qrowxiii has cast Eddie Murphy as Ares, so this is shaping up to be a pretty great TV pitch and if anyone from Hollywood is reading this, could you also consider casting Dwayne âthe Rockâ Johnson as Hermes and Christopher Walken as Apollo, thanks.
Hera is Oscar Isaac because are you really going to cheat on Oscar Isaac, Michael Cera? Really? Youâd do that? Youâd look at that manâs face and chase tail somewhere else, Michael Cera, you sack of shit?
Iâm dying this is fantastic I NEED THE WHOLE CAST
Hades is Whoopi Goldberg and Persephone is Jeff Goldblum and Demeter is Julie Andrews. Their interplay makes up 70% of the film and is all improvised.
Athena is played by Amy Schumer (thanks anon!) and she defeats her enemies by being incredibly loud and annoying and plagiarising all their tactics and eventually they just give up in irritation. She only has 3 minutes of screen time and no dialogue. Thank fuck.
Heracles is played by Jesse Eisenberg because Michael Cera got to be Zeus. Sometimes they swap roles. No-one notices.
Poseidon is played by Daniel Craig but his only scene is when he reenacts the famous Bond scene with speedos.
Artemis is played by Robert Pattinson and all his lines are just slightly amended from Twilight. Dionysus is played by Helen Mirren. It is perhaps the only apt casting in the film.
To clarify, Hestia is absolutely played by Charles Dance, whose costume includes an apron which gets progressively dirtier throughout the series.
In the sitcom, which precedes the feature film and which focuses on certain myths every episode, Narcissus is played by John Goodman. Echo is played by Billy Crystal.Â
Other episodes include the story of Eros and Psyche, played respectively by Jane Fonda and Shirley MacLaine, the story of Daedalus and Icarus, played respectively by Reese Witherspoon and Laura Dern, and the story of Zeus overthrowing Cronus, in which Michael Cera as Zeus must defeat Cronus, as played by John Cena, in a battle of wits and muscle. Astonishingly, he wins.
this is all very good gud
but who is perseus and medusa? jason , Midas, circe, media, please I NEED TO KNOW
These are very important questions and I will answer them immediately.
Perseus and Medusa are played by Andy Samberg and Glenn Howerton. All their scenes together are just them one upping each other with improvised insults.
Jason and Medea are played by John Boyega and Meryl Streep, and all their scenes are so beautifully acted that they both get nominated for Oscars, despite the fact that one of Jasonâs lines is âare you trying to fleece me out of the golden fleece?â, to which Medea replies âme, fleece you? Oh no, me dear.â
Midas is played by Steve Buscemi, obviously. For no discernible reason, everything he touches does not turn to gold, but copper alloy. This is possibly due to budget cuts. Due to their on screen chemistry, he bizarrely has several buddy cop style scenes with Jeff Goldblumâs Persephone.
Circe does not appear. If she did, she would be played by Audrey Hepburn, using that creepy CGI from the Galaxy adverts, but her estate refuse to give their permission.
Important updates:
(Anonymous suggests: Kelsey Asbille Chow playing Achilles, Michelle Obama is Thetis, Danny Trejo as Helen, Terry Crewes as Paris, and Adrien Brody as Hector. olvmpos says: Ganymede is played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, and regularly benchpresses Michael Cera.)
Hey @teashoesandhair Iâm not saying that I felt inspired and sketched Whoopi Goldberg and Jeff Goldblum as Hades and Persephone but thatâs exactly what Iâm saying
OH GOD THIS IS PERFECTION. THANK YOU. JUST THANK YOU. PHENOMENAL.
YOUâRE WELCOME BUT ALSO PLEASE HELP COS I CANâT STOP
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE POSTER FOR THE SERIES, YOU HEAR ME
Iâm mad that people are just reblogging the first post here because YOUâRE MISSING OUT ON THE MOST INCREDIBLE ARTWORK YOUâLL EVER SEE
Okay, I gotta ask, whoâs the Hyacinthus to Christopher Walkenâs Apollo?
I can already hear Apolloâs relevant lines in Walkenâs distinct cadence, but I wanna know who heâs cradling, devastated, while crying out in anguish and also pausing at all the wrong places.
What a great question, and it brings me absolute joy to reveal to you that itâs Jackie Chan. He does all his own stunts. There is only one stunt, and itâs him collapsing into Christopher Walkenâs arms. For some reason, there are explosions.