Remind Me
I buried an elk head up in Kremmling last fall with the intent of digging it up in spring after most of the flesh fell off and cleaning it before mailing it off to someone and now for the life of me I can’t remember who I promised it to.
It was either @systlin @pipcomix @vampireapologist or @a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy or maybe someone else but if one of y’all doesn’t claim it by May when I go back I’m going to draw an addess out of the addresses i have on file and mail it you without warning.
I believe I gave you my address for SOME purpose and it seems likely it was this
…I think we discussed this but you held off on the address becuase you were looking at places in Georgia and weren’t sure you were going to be at your current place by the time it was ready to ship.
This is assuming the coyotes didn’t dig it up in the meantime.
Babe, for the sake of clarity my mom has asked me to put it down in public record that we do NOT want an elk head in our mailbox this spring. <3 Thank you for your consideration, I hope it goes to someone who loves it. XD
I’ll take your name out of the hat. You may reccive other cervine-related consolation prizes.
Vanishingly Smaller Categories:
- People with a spare elk head
- People who would think of burying it until most of the flesh falls off
- People who would actually do that
- And then clean it off
- For a friend
- People who have a friend who might want that head
- People who have multiple friends who might want that head
- People who have so many friends who might want an elk head that has been buried and left until most of the flesh has rotted away and then cleaned up that they forget which friend wanted it
So What Happened was-
Last November (2018) my mom and I were having wretched anxiety over politics and decied that come election day we’d vanish into the mountains with the dogs and come back tomorrow to survey the damage (we ended up being pleasantly surprised instead)
But to change things up a little, we go out to Wolford State park, just a bit north of Kremmling becuase we hadn’t been there before and even though it was november it’s still lovely out there. Mostly sagebrugh scrubland and not-quite frozen resvior but also lovely mountain views and, apparently, poachers.
We get a ways out on one of the trails with the dogs when Charlie picks up a scent and starts Very Pointedly Investigating, and Arwen’s following him because it’s easier to let the other dog do the work. Arwen ends up spotting the head first and body-checks Charlie out of the way to get it and I have to physically pry Awen’s mouth open to get the VERY fresh head out of her mouth.
Ended up being the severed head of an Elk Cow which I had to examine from arm’s length over my head becuase Arwen was EXTREMELY determined to have more fresh elk face.
“Good Grief did the coyotes do that?” Mom asks, attempting to restrain Arwen. It’s not working.
“Nah. This is tool marks on the bone here, see? Katy says people sometimes cut the heads off deer and elk if they shot a cow when they had bull tags.”
“Oh yeah people used to do that with whitetail back in Ohio. Never worked, the ranger would just check the other end.” Mom nodded. I am a weird-ass adult form of an even weirder kid so she’s gotten used to the carrion by now. “Looks like she has all her teeth. She’d make a lovely skull mount.”
“Shame we don’t have a cooler with us, we could take her back to Joanne for her beetles. Then we could do Art Things with her.”
“What kind of art things?”
“Dunno. Something in the vein of glorification though. Kind of an undignified way to go, you know?”
“Our ” Mom mused for a moment. “You’ve got a shovel in the back of your van, right? You could bury her until spring then take her to Joanne.”
“Yeah that sounds good. I’ll take the head and Charlie- where is h- CHARLESTON CHEW [SURNAME REDACTED]!”
He’d found the rest of the remains of the field-dressing and had been horking down elk viscra in the confusion. Eventually both dogs were persuaded to come back down the hill via me holding the head aloft like the final scene in Princess Mononoke and the dogs leaping for it form either side until they could be forcibly tossed into the back of the van.
It’s probably fortunate that there was nobody else in the lot to see that.
So She’s buried by a distinctive rock near one of the lots in Wolford, and I’ll go back in April or May depending on the weather to see if she’s still there. Even if I can’t find her again she at least got a proper burial.
Charlie had a vet exam and TERRIBLE farts but seemed otherwise unaffected by his surpise elk pre-sausage. Arwen gets real excited now every time she sees someone pick up a shovel.