Peter Parker: -on meeting Loki, offers his hand- Hi, I’m Peter!
Loki: -shakes his hand- Loki of Asgard.
Peter: Aren’t you like…a bad guy?
Loki: It varies from moment to moment.
Peter: So like…on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst evil imaginable, like…killing puppies, and one being I’ll spit on your hotdog…where are you right now?
Loki: …maybe a three?
Peter: Cool. Lemme know if it gets above a six.
Loki: -thinking- I like him.
It had been a joke, a flippant line, but somehow, Loki found himself taking the youth up on it.
It was hard living around these heroic Avengers, hard trying to stay close to Thor. And when he felt his need for mischief rise too high, when he felt exasperation with these Midgardians turn too close to spite, he would casually say “Six.” to the young man, or sometimes “Seven.”
And Peter would spend the rest of his day with Loki. He would badger him with questions about magic, or drag him across his beloved city to see its entertainments, or take him along stopping petty crimes. He grounded Loki to the here and now, and distracted him from the churning, jagged shards of ice in his mind.
WE NEED LOKI AND PETER FICS
Yeah, the people who write the comics agree with you
imagine if someone really pissed Loki off and he turns to Peter and just “IT’s A TEN, CHILD”
Peter: OH SHIT. EVERYBODY EVACUATE THE CIVILIANS
@shesellsseagulls I know this isn’t your normal shtick, but IMAGINE!
ANYTHING with peter is 100% my shtick and I am HERE FOR THIS.
I’m gonna write this. Just give me a bit.
Okay its short and probably really shit, but here we go.
“Hi, I’m Peter.” Loki stares in brief shock at the boy smiling up at him and waiting for his outstretched hand to be shook. People didn’t usually react well to meeting him.
“Loki of Asgard,” Loki answered politely, shaking Peter’s hand.
“Aren’t you like… a bad guy?” Peter asked with such wide, innocent eyes that Loki felt an urge to run away before he ruined that innocence as he had done with so many other things.
“It varies from moment to moment.” Loki tried to act disinterested, but he was worried that his expression may be mirroring Peter’s.
“So like… on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst evil imaginable, like… killing puppies, and one being I’ll spit on your hotdog… where are you right now?”
“Maybe a three.” Thor was staring at them, and Loki didn’t have to look to know that his brother was grinning at how well the introduction was going.
“Cool,” Peter smiled brightly. “Let me know if it gets above a six.”
Loki nodded slightly and stared in absolute amazement at this child who handled meeting a villain so well. I like him, the god thought quietly.
It had obviously been a joke, but Loki had found himself saying a number every time he saw Peter. Whenever it was above a six, Peter would drop everything and just spend the rest of the day hanging out with Loki. It usually wasn’t more than a seven, and Peter was always worried about what would happen if it got to a ten. So far, he had been lucky, but one day that luck would run out.
They were at a coffee shop, waiting quietly to order their treats and go, causing absolutely no problems. When they got to the counter, though, the guy took Peter’s order and refused to acknowledge Loki’s presence.
“Excuse me,” Loki said quietly, trying to get the man’s attention.
“Sorry, we don’t serve evil here.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing I’m not ordering any. I’d just like a chai latte, please.” Loki resisted the urge to glare at the man, choosing to smile politely instead.
“What, are you gonna kill me if I don’t serve you?” The man laughed and turned around to continue making Peter’s coffee.
“No, but I would like to speak with whomever is in charge here.” Loki gritted his teeth and tried to stay calm.
“Oh, you wanna talk to my manager?” The guy laughed again. “Why don’t you just leave, asshole?”
Loki took a slow breathe through his nose, and slammed his fist down on the counter. He turned to Peter, shouting, “IT’S A TEN, CHILD!”
Peter, not knowing what to do, launched himself onto Loki, and started dragging him away before he hurt someone.
“You don’t have to go, kid. You didn’t do anything wrong.” The guys smiled as if nothing had happened, and offered Peter his coffee.
“Hey, you’re being a dick to my friend. I don’t want to stay here. You can’t just treat people like that!” Loki grabbed Peter’s arm and tried to get him to keep walking before they got into trouble. “He hasn’t done anything wrong in years! What gives you the right to act like you’re so much better than him? He made a mistake. Have you never made a mistake before?”
Peter shot a web at a blender behind the man without thinking, and he pulled it forward, hitting him in the back of the head. Someone screamed, and Loki started laughing hysterically and pulled on Peter’s arm.
“You’re going to get us in trouble,” Loki shouted over the other people’s yelling.
Too late, thought Peter when the sound of police sirens brought him back to reality.
He paled and yelled, “Shit!” Loki wrapped his arms around Peter and teleported them back to the Avengers tower. Peter glanced around in shock, having forgotten that Loki can teleport.
“We’re in so much trouble,” he groaned, giving up on life and dropping his head against Loki’s chest. Loki, not really knowing what to do, continued to hug Peter.
“I’ll say I did it,” Loki decided. Before Peter could protest, he added, “They’d expect if from me.”
Peter stepped back to look up at Loki. “Fine, but if they try to actually do anything about it, I’m telling Mr Stark what really happened.”
Loki’s heart melted, and he couldn’t help but smile. Loki’s hand moved to cup Peter’s cheek for a moment. “You’re such a sweet child.” He hugged Peter briefly before saying, “You should probably go establish an alibi.” Peter nodded and ran off, leaving Loki to think about how great his friend is.
