hi sorry i just realized something and now I am speculating about whether Crowley keeps houseplants and yells at them as a reframing device/coping mechanism to deal with the repressed trauma of Falling (read: being cast out of the Garden?)
like here he is, being INTENSE PERFECTIONIST AND CONTROL FREAK (in a way that he isn’t, in the rest of his life) and the second one of his plants shows a flaw, even a single leaf spot, he puts it down the garbage disposal, discarding it the way he felt he was discarded????
crowley, go to therapy
go to therapy, crowley
(or possibly he did go to therapy and the therapist was the one who suggested he get a hobby like gardening and he twitched a bit and went “mmm yeah Gardening, right. i can go make a Garden for myself sure. right. it’ll be very therapeutic.” it is not very therapeutic, it is just picking at an old scab)
HE’S NOT YELLING AT THE PLANTS, HE’S YELLING AT HIMSELF
No.
Hey Alex, quick question, who gave you the right and second of all *incoherent sobbing*
I’M SORRY
FOLLOW UP: imagine how Crowley feels when Aziraphale comes into his flat and looks at his
objects of self-externalizationplants and loves them and coos over them and praises them and gives Crowley a stern look and says he shouldn’t be so mean to the poor things, they’re doing their bestimagine how that feels, imagine how it feels to have someone take the punching bag you’ve taped your own face to, and instead they hug it, how fucking gobsmacked would you be about that
ALEX