i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out
You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.
Okay weirdly this exact situation has happened to me. It was summer so I was sleeping naked, but then I heard the lock on the front door being opened. I thought someone was breaking into my house and I had enough time to either grab my sword or my nightgown, not both.
Two things I learned.
One, sometimes apartment complexes will flat out forget to tell you they’re sending someone over from the fire department to check your fire extinguishers.
Two, no matter how bad ass a person thinks they are, a naked person swinging a sword at them will knock them off balance both physically and mentally.
However, the fireman was very nice about it and accepted my apology.
didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are
i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths
A few months ago, I thought to myself “Mmm I’m so tired… how much longer in this one again?” and I knew instinctively what I meant by ‘this one’ was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identity/existential crisis like how many times have I been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me.
In July 2017, one night I woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice “the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes” and I don’t know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds.
i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved
Get yourself un-shadowbanned That post seems to be going around a bit but not the reblog on how to fix it, so here’s another
Go to postlimit, put in your blog name, TAKE A SCREENSHOT
Go to tumblr support and file a support ticket. Category: Blog incorrectly marked explicit. Details: posts hidden from search results. Attach the screenshot. Do this even if you’ve already filed a support ticket N days ago without a screenshot. Make sure the relevant blog is chosen and you have the right contact email address.
They got back to me within an hour.
Seriously – follow this. I was shadow-banned, and they fixed it within seconds.
Not an exaggeration – I got the “we received your ticket” and “we’ve fixed it” e-mail in the same minute.
ok I filled this support form out TWICE without hearing back from staff for weeks, but literally the second i sent the form with the screenshot the problem was resolved – there is clearly some sort of bot checking for attachments so this is a genuinely good solution if you’ve been shadowbanned
trump’s 1 year anniversary of being president is starting off with the government shutting down that’s the perfect representation of how american politics has been going for the past year
The government got shut down when Obama was president as well.
It’s not new.
Stop blowing it out of proportion.
It’s not a rare occurrence.
When the government shutdown under the Obama administration it was a divided government. Which made more sense because under a divided government it’s harder to compromise.
Here we are, 2018, and the Republicans control ALL branches of the government. They still failed to compromise and negotiate.
This is actually the third government shut-down this year. The third. There was the first in January, an additional one in February, and now we’re rounding out the year with athird shut-down. There was only one during the entire eight years Obama was President. There have only been nine total shut-downs in the entire history of America. Trump is responsible for athird of all government shut-downs and this has all happened in one year and it is only his second year in office. Is that alarming? That should be really fucking alarming.
Have you ever wondered how someone meets Santa? Well, you need to follow a very specific ritual to summon him.
Do you have any idea how long I’ve had this queued? Any idea? A year. A fucking year. I don’t even use my queue ever. Ever. This is the only thing I’ve EVER queued. I’ve had this queued for a year so I don’t forget it.
From @theadventuresoflumosandnox: “Lumos: Do you meow a lot when it is dinner time? I do, not much has changed since this day! 🔊 For little Lumos’ meows” #catsofinstagram [source: http://bit.ly/2Td7Ru6 ]
