The US Department of Homeland Security has published a new proposed rule that would make people ineligible for US citizenship if their credit-scores were poor.
Notionally, the rule-change is meant to prevent immigrants from becoming
burdens on the welfare system (migrants do not make disproportionate
use of any public welfare system).
However, the credit reporting bureaus are notoriously inaccurate and
arbitrary in the credit-scores they assign; if you have a lot of assets
but do not borrow money, you will have a much lower credit-rating than
if you unwisely enroll in a number of high cost/high fee store cards and
pay them off after running up debts on them and paying significant
interest (I am allergic to debt, and with the exception of my mortgage
have no debts at all; because of this I have a fairly low credit-score,
despite the fact that both my wife and I earn very good livings).
What’s more, the credit-reporting sector is riddled with security holes; notoriously, Equifax doxxed the entire adult population of America
by breaching more than 150 million residents’ financial data.
Integrating credit scores into the immigration process will grant the
bureaux a permanent government contract and funnel tax-dollars to them
forever, despite their routine errors, racial bias, and spurious
guilt-by-statistical-association.
Finally, the DHS’s change is an appeal to selfishness and cruelty: if
America is unwilling to accept migrants who are indigent or who need
assistance, what does it say about us as a nation?
It’s a Made-in-America version of China’s notorious Citizen Scores.
Keep in mind, it’s not a batam chicken, it has some birth defect that makes it smaller than an average small chicken, we think. I don’t know. We didn’t expect this.
This is Cicero.
We thought Cicero was a rooster, mostly from fear of him being a hen and trying to lay an egg, only to end up egg bound.
Well, today we learned that Cicero the Rooster is actually Cicero the Hen.
AND LOOK
AT WHAT
SHE LAID
A TINY EGG.
I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.
IF WE HATCH IT WOULD A TINIER CHICKEN BE HATCHED??
WILL IT CONTINUE UNTIL WE HAVE THE SMALLEST CHICKEN IN THE WORLD??
WHY DID MY SISTER NAME THE CHICKEN AFTER HER MATH TEACHER??
how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)
Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.
Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON
I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.
Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day.
Yes. Good.
Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)
And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.
thisTHIS
Okay all other canon epilogues can go home, this is the best.
Like… Harry wanted to be an auror back when he was 15 and he’d faced Voldemort as a teenager, but it’s kind of crazy to think he would still want that after months on the run and dying in and surviving the war against Voldemort and having to watch more than just Cedric die. I don’t think he’d be like yeah, I need to continue on with this now as a 17 year old.
He would realize – especially after coming back to Hogwarts and realizing what the D.A. had done even after he was gone with Neville gaining so much confidence and equipping the students to defend themselves and fight back – that teaching was actually really important! And that he wasn’t “destined” for it like he had been for fighting against Voldemort as the chosen one… but he was incredible gifted at it!!!
