DM: So, now that the rogue managed to get the rubies out without electrocuting himself, you can see inside and see a button inside.
Magus: I’m the only one who sees this?
DM: You were the only one who asked to look instead of looting.
Magus: I stand there and stare at the button for a long time. I am sweating intensely. My +4 intelligence is telling me all the bad things that could happen, but my chaotic an curious nature are fighting against it.
DM: So?
Magus: Fuck it I press it.
DM: You hear a click but nothing happens.
Magus: Despite knowing that that button could’ve resulted in my death in many ways, I feel disappointed it didn’t do anything.
Paladin: Its okay, I understand the need to press mysterious buttons.
Magus: How can I NOT when I don’t know what they do! I need to know!
Paladin: Especially if they’re red and or on a panel that says do not touch.
Magus (loudly): EXACTLY!
DM: “So this hallway is very narrow, so you guy can only walk one behind another.”
Cleric: “I’m still in the back. You guys are all my living shields.”
Magus (me): “I’m fine being your living shield! You’re just in charge of making sure I remain living. If I’m your dead shield, then neither of us are doing our jobs.”
Cleric (Jokingly): “I mean, I could still use your corpse as a shield.”
Me: “I’d like to see how well a dead shield will protect you from more undead ogres.”
Cleric: “Haha, fine, I’ll make sure I keep you alive.”
Me: “Thanks!”
“In fact, during the audition with Chris Evans, the script says, “Spidey flips into scene,” and Tom goes, “Oh, should I do that?” Evans is like, [sarcastically] “Oh, yeah. Yeah, you just flip into the scene kid. No, you just walk in.” He does it. A standing flip, jump, flip, land. Even Chris Evans was like, “What…what happened?” – Kevin Feige, producer and President of Marvel
You hire Spider-Man and you fucking got Spider-Man.
Chris’s face just says “why is there a child in pyjamas cartwheeling towards me”
