What if you were dating a moth prince and living in his kingdom and he knew how out of place you felt so he made you dozens of silk dresses and blankets and gave you lots of fuzzy shawls and scarves so you wouldn’t stand out so much and always said you were so beautiful you were glowing and occasionally bump right into your face because it was a little joke and he would pretend you were a light bulb and give you tiny kisses
Half of me is like “what the fuck am I looking at” and the other half finds this inexplicably adorable and good.
For some context, in the Campaign I’m DMing we’ve been stuck in a maze of caves in search of a missing child, the party comes across two skeleton Minotaurs which I planned to be mini bosses. The party are very underprepared for the fight.
Bard(ooc): “uh- can I insult the Minotaur?”
Me: “sure, though I’m not sure it’ll do much”
*Bard uses vicious mockery, rolls a Nat 1*
Bard(ooc): “Shit, that’s not good.”
Me: “well, before your impending doom, what did you say to the skeleton?”
Bard: “uh- you have a very… nice… Skeletal structure.”
Me: “… Did you just flirt with the Minotaur?”
Bard(ooc): “I want it so that I failed so hard I accidentally flirted with the skeleton”
Warlock(ooc): “How’d you managed that?”
Bard(ooc): “I am capable of nonsense”
*I roll for wisdom and didn’t beat the mark by a huge gap*
Me: “Well, the Minotaur doesn’t quite understand what you said, but it was flattered anyway. Congrats you just seduced a pile of bones”
Bard(ooc): “Oh shit, well um… Do I have a charisma bonus on her now?”
Me(ooc): “I guess so. Also the other Minotaur was her husband, he is now jealous and wants to kill you, plus he has a strength bonus on you.”
Bard: “Aw shit. Uh- I’m running behind this rock, I’m not moving and no one can tell me otherwise”
Knight: “Help us you coward!”
Bard: “you probably got this!”
*a round passes and it is the Bard’s turn again, the rest of the party are almost dead*
Barbarian: “so our fate rests with the bard?”
Warlock: “Our journey is over.”
Bard: “I convince the skeleton to kill her husband, and then herself”
Me(ooc): “wait what?”
Bard: “you heard me! Don’t question it sky narrator!”
*she rolls 18 persuasion. I roll a 5 wisdom and sigh in defeat*
Me: “She proceeds to decapitate the other skeleton, and then herself. The two collapse in a heap of bones. You’ve won.”
Barbarian(ooc): “you can’t be serious”
Warlock(ooc): “Never thought I’d see the day that ‘Bard’ actually helps us in a fight.”
Knight(ooc): “We won by telling it to go kill itself.”
Bard: “I play my victory song on my sacbutt(trombone)”
*my friend proceeds to pull out her actual trombone and play Final Countdown as me and the rest of the party contemplate life*
Newly released court documents show that Brock Turner, the former Stanford student convicted of sexually assaulting an unconscious woman outside of a frat house, behaved in an “aggressive” and predatory way towards other women just one week before the attack.
The 471 pages of documents released Friday by the Santa Clara County Superior Court show that Turner lied to investigators about having no experience with using drugs and alcohol before college.
Several images that prosecutors referenced during the trial are included. Santa Clara County Superior Court and the Santa Clara County District Attorney’s Office released the case documents Friday.
The newly released photos include a snapshot of Brock Turner smoking a pipe, another of a bong, and another of a young man prosecutors say was Turner’s swim team buddy, holding a bong. The court documents also include a photo sent via the “Group Me” app that is said to be the victim’s breasts, photographed at the time of the sexual assault.
Brock Turner, with what looks like a hash pipe, in a court-released phone photo.
The former Stanford student was caught in the act of rape by bystanders, who pulled him off of the unconscious woman, behind a dumpster. Turner was convicted. His case outraged the world for many reasons, one of which was the extraordinarily lenient sentence he received. He’ll probably be out in a few weeks.
Judge Aaron Persky said he took Brock Turner “at his word” when he sentenced the onetime college swimming star on sexual assault charges.
At the sentencing hearing last Thursday, prosecutors said they wanted Turner to serve six years in prison. His “behavior is not typical assaultive behavior that you find on campus, but it is more akin to a predator who is searching for prey,” they wrote.
Turner told the judge he thought he was having consensual sex with his victim. Remember, this woman was unconscious when he raped her behind a dumpster.
In a pre-sentencing letter to the judge, Turner pled for leniency. He got it.
Judge Persky sentenced Turner to what will probably end up being a total of three months in jail. When news of the sentencing broke, and the ridiculous plea letters to Persky from Turner and his father hit the internet, Turner became the focus of a social media storm of intense outrage.
The court documents released Friday will likely stoke that outrage anew.
The morning after the assault and Turner’s arrest, investigators looked through Turner’s phone and found a text message in the “Group Me” group chat app that read, “Who’s tits are those?”
Detectives sent the phone to a forensics lab to try and retrieve that message, and any photos from the crime that Turner may have attached. Investigators say the messages and any attachments were already deleted “by a third party.” Who would have deleted such incriminating content? Perhaps his swim team buddies? Or the messaging service operator? We don’t know at this time.
In addition to revealing Turner’s shockingly predatory behavior, the documents also showed he lied to the court about being inexperienced with drugs and alcohol.
