Tag: Birds

gallusrostromegalus:

lazyevaluationranch:

11/2 Today Goofus the Peacock killed a mouse and instead of eating it right away, decided to wander around the pasture carrying it in his beak. The feral cats always appreciate dead-rodent-based performance art, so they followed behind Goofus single file to make a Very Exciting Dead Rodent Parade.

At one point Goofus stopped and put down his rodent and one of the feral cats dared to sniff at it, and Goofus unleashed The Most Terrifying Honk, something along the lines of I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND YOUR BONES WILL BE FORGOTTEN ON THE FROZEN EARTH WHEN I SNUFF OUT THE SUN AND SING THE STARS TO DARKNESS I AM THE DEVOURER AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS

The feral cats, previously unaware that the Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things is currently living as a peacock, ran off at about fifty miles an hour and hid under the barn for the rest of the day. They didn’t even come out at milking time to beg for goat milk, which is a first.

We probably should not have named the Death Of The Universe And The End Of All Things “Goofus,” actually.

Are you kidding that’s the Prefect name for The Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things.

sloth-lady-s:

theotherwesley:

elodieunderglass:

epithanyrae:

k25ff:

unfuckthereallife:

thenatsdorf:

Female Royal Flycatcher (via)

@bagofbirds

@itsbenedict writes: 

#that’s a *female*???#do flycatchers flip the usual plumage signaling behavior for birds#or do the males look even MORE outlandish

And the answer is that, depending on species, the males look about the same, just with different-coloured hats.

Observe.

@elodieunderglass

it’s important to have a good hat

GOOD HATS

SAMBA! TA-RA-RARA-RA-RA-RA-RA-RA!

thetimesinbetween:

celticpyro:

paradisemantis:

keyhollow:

Acting like the crows won’t try to cheat the system.

Acting like the crows won’t snatch cigarettes outta people’s mouths.

Acting like murders won’t fight viciously for terf.

If they cheat the system then they earned it.

Crows reduce the rates of lung cancer by aggressively nabbing cigarettes, news at 11.

fuck it let’s just have public health policy via crows

elodieunderglass:

notalwaysweak:

bewareofchickens:

@gallusrostromegalus @elodieunderglass @tkingfisher @halfeatenmoon I feel like all of you will appreciate this for different reasons.

weary science lecturer voice: and here we see a lovely example of the phylogeny of domestic galliformes, which will be on the exam. Sorry, what was that? “Fuck me?” You may regret it – curses, like chickens, come home to roost.