Am I the only that thinks Bucky is going to be the more lighthearted one of the two in the Falcon and Winter Soldier series, cause bro:
Sam looks so annoyed in every scene with Bucky. In this gif, he’s stressed, the “I left my oven on and I’m pretty sure that’s my building burning in the distance” kind of stressed and BUCKY LOOKS LIKE AN ACQUAINTANCE HAPPILY JOGGING ALONG AS UNWELCOME MORAL SUPPORT AND IT SEEMS TO BE CONSISTENT WITH THEM. Even when they’re fighting Peter, Bucky doesn’t grow more frustrated he’s kind of just like, “Damn,” and Sam is like, “mOTHERFUC-”
These situations are among the worst Sam has ever been in.
Bucky? Shit, any day Nazis are not electrocuting him is a fucking great day.
There’s no way Bucky is resentful that Steve passed the shield to Sam. If anything, he’s fucking thrilled, because now he gets to work alongside another Captain America and laugh his ass off every time Sam makes a clumsy mistake.
Like I bet at some point Sam throws the shield and just completely forgets how math works, so when it hits the wall at one angle, it doesn’t come back to him.
Sam, taking the walk of shame to retrieve the shield: I fucking hate my life.
Bucky, wheezing and holding his phone: I got it on video and sent it to Steve.
After Ragnarok, the Revengers travel back to earth, which includes everybody meeting up with Loki again. As prompted by the post by @artemxmendacium Loki meeting Peter goes a lot better than a certain Irondad feared.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
“Thor, why on earth would you bring Loki here?”
Stark was angry, and Thor had to admit for good
reason. The last time the Avengers had seen his brother he was in chains after
attacking New York and was trying to kill them. But a lot had happened since
then and Loki was no longer the homicidal maniac, as some may have put it; he
was getting better, which Thor tried to explain to his friends.
“I understand your hesitation, but believe me when I
tell you that he has changed.”
“He threw me off a building!”
“I am aware, but…”
“Do you remember how many people he killed?”, Natasha
continued.
“I do.” Thor knew it would be hard to convince them of
Loki’s changed nature. They hadn’t seen him back on Asgard and Sakaar, how they
worked together, side by side. “I also do remember how many people he saved on
Asgard.”
“And we’re just supposed to believe that?”
“Tony, I know it’s hard to believe, but I actually saw
it with my own eyes”, Bruce explained, “we did fight together.”
Thank Frigga for Bruce. Maybe Tony would trust his
word.
“I’m sorry Bruce, but I don’t trust Hulk’s judgement
on fighting.”
“You know, I don’t either. But we have travelled
all across the galaxy together, and, as weird as it is to admit
it, but we’re actually friends.”
Thor looked around the room, at his fellow Avengers,
as reassuringly as he could.
“Guys, I’m sorry, but it is a lot to take in. You
disappear for two years which you spent as gladiator-style slaves on an alien
planet before blowing up your homeplanet to defeat your evil older sister you
never knew and oh, by the way, Loki is good now”, Clint summarized. “Excuse us
for taking a moment to process all this.”
“I understand”, Thor answered, “though if you put it
like that, my brother being good is the most believable of all this.” He
grinned a little and heard a chuckle from Bruce.
“It’s really not funny, guys”, Nat grumbled.
“It’s a little funny.”
“Maybe you had to be there…” Bruce gently patted his
arm, sort of pulled him back. Maybe humour was the wrong way to smooth things
over.
“Friends, we are not asking you to trust Loki. We are
asking you to trust us!”, he pleaded.
Tony locked eyes with Bruce. “You really trust him?”
“I trust that he is willing to better himself and I
trust that we can help him with that”, he nodded.
The Avengers exchanged a few glances, before Tony took
two steps towards Thor, who was getting a little nervous. What if they were to
tell them to leave?
“You vouch for your brother, Point Break?”
“I take full responsibility”, Thor nodded.
“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”, he grumbled and
shook his head, before looking back up. “Fine. We will give him a chance. But
the slightest slip-up…”
“Thank you, Stark, a chance is all I’m asking for.”
Gratefully, he smiled at the man, before he turned to Bruce. “What do you say,
we go and give him the good news?”
“That will not be necessary.”
Thor didn’t need to turn around to recognize his
little brother’s voice. Of course, he had listened in on the entire discussion.
And his friends looked mad about that.
“Loki, what about waiting outside?”, Bruce hissed at
him.
“But it is so much more fun here!” With a smug grin,
Loki greeted the Avengers. “Hello. Long time, no see. How have you been?”
Silence. Thor and Bruce exchanged a quick, worried
glance, before Bruce broke it. “How about I take Loki back to the ship and get
all our belongings?”
“That is a good idea, Bruce.” He nodded at his friend
and shot his brother a warning glance. Loki did a theatrical curtsy and
followed Bruce out of the room.
As soon as the door closed, it felt like all the
tension vanished out of the room. Everybody sank on a chair, leaned against the
furniture and Thor wasn’t sure what to do or say.
Concept: Some jackass shows Bucky how to make a blog and it becomes really popular. Not because it’s the blog of James Buchanan Barnes, American Legend, War Hero, Infamous Assassin, Alleged Terrorist. Nobody even knows it’s his blog. It gets really popular because people think it’s a really great shitpost generator or something. Because Bucky is just a Weird Fucking Person and everything he posts on his fucking personal blog comes off as somewhere between dril and Jaden Smith and people are like “this is some quality garbage right here” and thus Accidental Memelord Bucky is born.
Bucky posts things like
“What is wrong with bananas. I ate a banana today and it was Wrong. America why”
“Every time I put on my eye makeup it gets bigger. My whole face is eyeliner now.”
“Why does friendship feel so much like punching”
“When I wake up in the middle of the night I am either thinking ‘who am I? does my life have meaning?’ or “did I already eat all of the plums?’”
“Why are you so grumpy” they ask me. they do not realize this is just my Face.”
“I know i said i would give my left arm for a cup of coffee but i am more awake now and i would like my arm back please”
“I guess I must have done something horrible in a past life. I mean. I definitely did something horrible in this life, so. “
OMG I LOVEEEE
YEEESSSSSSS!
“Guy in front of me won’t move his car seat up. I think that might still be upset about all those times I tried to kill him.”
“Got lectured by a guy who had been complaining about how things were Back In The Day. I don’t understand why he got upset. I too lived through the Great Depression and was drafted for the War.”
“The economy in this century sucks. Who exactly though another Stock Market crash was a good idea?”
“Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them. On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.”
“‘If you don’t behave we’ll send (mutual) after you.’ Jokes on them. I’m the one who trained them to be an assassin in the first place.”
“Tried to buy a Chicken Dinner candy bar at the supermarket today. Turns out they were discontinued 54 years ago. Super bummed.”
“Wait. People were on the moon?! We got into space? There is a way off of this rock?! Why am I only just hearing about this?!”
“’Have you been living under a rock the past 50 years?’ No I was cryogenically frozen for 70. I don’t appreciate your tone young man.”
“My friend likes convincing people that I’m the Reckless one in our friendship. As if he won’t find an alley behind a bar to pick a fight in if I take my eyes off him for two seconds.”
“Why would i want to get a haircut when instead I can look like i just returned from a 12 year jaunt in the wilderness every time i grow a beard”
“was having a hard time finding noodles in the grocery store & asked a clerk for help. she looked at me like a crazy person. lady, it’s not my fault you don’t speak russian”
“what kind of idiot thinks dancers are sissies? literally every ballerina i have ever met could kill an adult man with just her legs”
“today i discovered Conditioner. the future is a miracle and my hair like a cloud now”
“apparently just jumping on to a moving bus when you are running late is not a thing people do anymore. please stop yelling at me.”
“went to a club last night to see what the hip kids were into. apparently the latest thing is just having sex standing up with your clothes on in a room full of people.”
“on the one hand, people dressed much nicer in the 40s. on the other hand, yoga pants.”
“rode in a car with heated seats today. it is my house now. i live here.”
“i have acquired a small bear. i am putting a collar and leash on him. he is my dog. no one tell animal control”
“i am working on this whole Good Guy thing but anyone who cuts me in line at starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out okay”
“why did they have to make escalators so terrifying to get on and off of? from now on I’m just jumping off the mall balconies. none of this awful moving teeth staircase”
“i don’t care if it’s a ‘priceless historical artifact,’ punk, i didn’t wanna do the dishes and it makes a pretty good spaghetti bowl”
“hoodie pockets are so great. i can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm”
“i really though we would have flying cars by now. the future is such a letdown.”
“changed sam’s ringtone to jesus take the wheel.”
“do you know that feeling when you go to lean on your short friend’s conveniently arm-rest-height shoulder but you forget they had a huge growth spurt and you just awkwardly lean your elbow into the middle of their bicep”
“i swear i didn’t know your girlfriend was coming over. i always ominously clean my assault weapons on the coffee table like that. it had nothing to do with you.”
y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu
me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.
naw fuck that bucky’s punches aren’t easy to block, it’s WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes he’s a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth
that’s the face of a man who went from “holy shit he blocked my punch?” to “holY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???” in 3 seconds flat.
