you know the other thing that I really enjoy about Good Omens? Despite being messy af and bad at talking about their feelings and using their words, Crowley and Aziraphale are just like… actual grown-ups. Like, their defining character traits are that that they would risk literally everything to avoid a change in their daily routine. They literally defy Heaven and face down Satan to stop the Apocalypse because after a long day they just want to unwind at home with their significant other and a nice glass of red. Like they are SO decidedly middle-aged that actual paradise to these two immortal beings of immense otherworldly power is an early dinner out with your sweetie at your favorite restaurant and then going DIRECTLY home to open a bottle of wine and throw on your favorite album. and honestly, hard same?
Hard, hard same. The same is like granite. The same is like diamonds. The same is an 11 on the Mohs scale
Aziraphale, hanging out on Noah’s Ark watching the flood waters rise. Hears a noise down in the hull and goes to investigate.
Finds Crowley stowed away in the hull along with several hundred Mesopotamian children ranging in age from infants to late teens.
Crowley, in the middle of passing around a bread basket that endlessly refills itself, looks up like a deer in headlights. “Okay, I can explain this…”
—Later that day—
Crowley, while bottle feeding one of the infants: I mean clearly the Almighty wants these children dead, what with their capacity for evil and stuff, so by saving them all, I’m actually going against the Ineffable Plan.
Aziraphale, hiding a smile: Right. Makes perfect sense.
Crowley: I’m being very evil here.
Aziraphale: Of course you are.
Crowley: …you’re not about to throw them all overboard, are you? Because I will fight you.
Aziraphale: Oh, no. You’ve clearly outwitted me this time. I must accept my defeat with grace. And Noah has enough on his plate with the animals, I shouldn’t burden him with this. You’ve won this round, wily serpent.
Crowley, getting choked up: Y-Yes, that’s right. I’m very wily. And evil. Don’t forget that.
gather round me, children. and i will tell you all the story of an alternate world where aziraphale works at a christian gifts store at the local mall, directly across from where crowley works at a spencer’s.
That doesn’t sound like an AU. That sounds like a canonical dare.
