Question: Why was the computer cold?
Answer: It left its Windows open!
Tag: dad jokes
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!
Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?
Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?
Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.
Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.
Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.
Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence.
Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends!
Elizabethan Scholar 1: I…I have not sufficient to sup on fowl.
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a ‘b’, and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire life.
Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee?
Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee?
A child refusing to take a nap is resisting a rest
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9.
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because you need 3 squared meals a day.
The police arrested 3 as well as 7, why?
Because 3 was the root of the problem.
i don’t know why this doesn’t have thousands of notes, but that is unacceptable
