Batman did not look up from the screens of the computer in the Batcave. “You didn’t say you were going to be in town,” he said, still typing.
“Oracle said you were out of state for work the last few days,” Nightwing said, leaning against the desk once he was close enough. As the desk was massive, this was still a significant distance from Batman. “You didn’t call me in.”
“She shouldn’t have mentioned it,” he said, still typing. Different windows were popping up onto different screens, databases and tables and terminal commands. “You have enough to worry about.”
“I can still cover a night shift or two.”
“It was handled.”
Nightwing made a sound both thoughtful and suspicious. “So,” he said, “someone stole the Batmobile.”
Batman paused. He turned his head just enough to see the Batmobile, parked exactly where he’d left it. He turned his head the other way, just enough to look at Nightwing for the first time. He’d started sitting on the desk, his toes only barely able to brush the ground.
“Not ours,” Nightwing clarified.
“Is there another one.”
“That Netflix show,” he said, and Batman did an almost-nod of acknowledgement before returning his attention back to whatever script he was running. “They had a big reveal of a new Batmobile this season, they auctioned off the old one for charity. I’m sure you heard about it.”
“What they do with their show isn’t my business,” Batman said.
“Uh-huh,” Nightwing said. “You really didn’t see any of this in the news? It’s been pretty nonstop since last night.”
“I was working.”
Nightwing put his hands on the edge of the desk, and kicked his feet upward to do a handstand apropos of nothing. “Too hard to see any news, all day.”
“I may have seen something about it,” Batman conceded.
“I’m sure you have theories about who did it.”
“It’s outside our jurisdiction.”
“Your business trip was in…” Nightwing asked, swinging off the table to stand.
“Jacksonville.”
“Did you pick that to help you get in character as Florida Man?”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“I want to know where you found a pink Batman costume in that size,” Nightwing continued.
“I didn’t.”
“The pictures are–I’m having them framed, I hope you know that.”
Batman’s mouth twitched.
“I’m so mad you didn’t call me,” Nightwing said, leaning against the desk again. “I know this place that sells rainbow Robin costumes with hotpants and a crop top–”
“Absolutely not.”
Kitty what the fuck, I knew you were writing this and that news article looked so real that I actually thought I was reading an article for about ten seconds
i comforted myself with the thought that in the future it will be a lot easier to make fake gotham gazette articles
