For years, Something Awful forum members have reveled in user
bEatmstrJ’s blow-by-blow account of a terrible bathroom remodel, in
which he sought to transform his bathroom “with a woman in mind” with an
eye to a future home-sale (“woman play an unfair role in the
home-buying process”); bEatmstrJ’s saga combines terrible ideas about
how a bathroom should look with total home-renovation incompetence,
making it the perfect foil for Something Awful’s pioneering brand of
jeering insults and mayhem.
Now, Something Awful user Dieting Hippo has celebrated bEatmstrJ’s
bathroom by immortalizing it as a level for the venerable
first-person-shooter Doom II, and so was born BATHDOOM.
more progress on BATHDOOM. got some textures in, and the plastic pebbles around the bath really hurt when you step on ‘em pic.twitter.com/d2gsJVub4V
Dieting Hippo told Matthew Gault from Motherboard that bEatmstrJ had
transformed his bathroom into “a bathroom that would appeal to cans of
Axe body spray.”
#tbt that time two brothers bought their own planes, learnt to fly them and disguised them as soviet planes so they wouldn’t be questioned and then flew into east germany to rescue their third brother from a park and recorded the entire operation and got away with it
no but legit this is one of my favourite stories from the 20th century it just sums up human ingenuity and how walls just don’t fucking work when people will do anything to cross them
the first brother and a friend paddled over the Elbe on inflatable mattresses in the middle of the night to escape the east. they got picked up by a Wessi police officer, who said something like “bit cold for swimming, ey boys?” and the brother says “not when you’re trying to leave the East.” because all East Germans were automatically citizens of the West too, they were taken into town and established themselves there.
the second brother scoped out a particularly dark stretch of the wall. He escaped over it to the west by getting into a high building and shooting an arrow with a steel cable attached over to another building in the west. He then ziplined over. In response to his escape, the Stasi and the Wall designers built another guard tower in the middle of the stretch so no one else could pull the same stunt.
the two brothers met up and heard that their who was still in East Germany also wanted out. So, they learnt to fly planes and disguised them as soviet planes. This was so, if the border guards saw them, they wouldn’t fire on them – they’d have to ring up the Kremlin and ascertain whether they were actual soviet planes on an organised fly-by. they flew into East Germany at dawn (recording it all on camera because you’ve got to do it for the vine even before vine exists), landed in a park where their brother was hiding in the bushes, loaded him onto one of the planes and flew out of East Germany, laughing all the way.
other great moments include – the guy who broke out of the GDR by driving a very low-slung sportscar under a barrier, the family who built two hot air balloons with their bare hands, the guy who managed to windsurf out of East Germany, the man who stole a tank (my hero), the people who removed the petrol tanks from cars so people could squeeze into the gap where the tank should have been, and of course, one of the most famous photos of the 20th century, with Eastern border guard, conrad schumann noping the fuck out of there when he was meant to be on duty guarding the wall when it was under construction in 1961
ok but my favorite defector stories involve engineers, because engineers are insane
Eugeniusz Pieniazek, aircraft designer who decided to escape communist Poland by building an airplane in his living room, and lowering it out the window
Bernd Boettger, an engineer, escaped East Germany by riding a fucking torpedo across the sea
and even when these assholes screwed up they didn’t tend to stay in jail, cause communist regimes just couldn’t afford to keep locking up their engineers. engineers are special kinds of nutjobs
I know that his name is a reference to the MERL, and obviously the wizard, but I also hope that it is a deliberate reference to leading bat expert Merlin Tuttle.
