tearlessrain:

I’m going to start making up obnoxiously stupid answers every time someone tells me how young I look

“I’m actually a past version of myself, I had to time travel forward and kill the original because he became a juggalo”

“a witch cursed me on my seventeenth birthday and now I can only appear as my true age if someone kisses me, then she gave me this nose to make sure that wouldn’t happen” 

“I’m two kids stacked on top of each other, I just wanted to see an R rated movie but things got way out of hand”

“yeah I had to stop a supervillain from flooding the water supply with a
de-aging serum because it would have killed all the babies, so I just…
ate all of it”

“I’m harboring the soul of an egyptian pharaoh who looks exactly like me but like a foot taller and way sexier”

“I was supposed to be a small nerdy sidekick but god forgot to assign me a protagonist to follow around so I’m just doin my thing”