how I sleep at night knowing my daughter is in a prison of my own design because I turned her into a murderer, my son is abandoned on a notorious garbage realm, and my other son is having an identity crisis because they are from a race I taught them from a young age to hate:
me when i’m in a food coma after eating one 2 many chicken fajitas from chili’s
Anthony Hopkins after eating too many chicken fajitas after Tom brings him to Chili’s
he looks like he was photoshopped into a bowl of boiling soup
god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face
and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT
Villain Origin Story
god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away
canon.
the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport
I also firmly believe that not a single teen in the MCU would take Captain America seriously. I’m positive he’d be a total meme, and anytime some sort of disaster is happening, all the kids would just laugh, like “good luck.”
The News: Captain America may be our only hope.
High school kids, snorting: What’s he going to do, tell the villain he’s disappointed in them and to make better choices?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Gen-X Supervillian confronting cap after years of PSAs: Oh no, it’s the star-spangled saint coming to tell me to make better choices. Whatcha gonna do, Cap, help an old lady cross the street at me?
Captain America, AKA Steve Rogers the pissed-off-Brooklynite who spent his youth getting into alley fights: The fuck are you talking about? Eat fist, dipshit.
Cap leans into it after four villains in a row get thrown for a loop by him insulting their mothers and swearing a blue streak during battles so he plays up the oh-shucks thing during interviews. That works great until the news catches him on camera saying “It was propaganda, you nazi fuckwit” while decking a superpowered alt-right millennial who came to attack a BLM march.
“It Was Propaganda, You Nazi Fuckwit” becomes the next meme. There are photo edits, there are tee shirts.
