elodieunderglass:

tremorbond:

aaronsmithtumbler:

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam fashioned an axe, and he cut down the Tree of Knowledge. And God asked “Adam, what have you done?” And Adam said “I refuse to be complicit in my own temptation.”

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you
must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for
when you eat of it you will die.

So Adam picked the fruit of the tree and planted it in the ground. A few years later, another Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil grew from the place he had planted it, and Adam ate the fruit of that one.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you
must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for
when you eat of it you will die. But the serpent told him this was lies,
and that if he ate from the Tree of Knowledge he would not die, but
would become as God. “How do you know?” asked Adam. “Have you eaten the
fruit?” “Yes,” said the serpent. “I have tasted of it, yet I did not
die.” So Adam ate the serpent.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you
must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for
when you eat of it you will die. And Adam asked “The fruit of the Tree?”
And God said “Yes, the fruit of the Tree”. So Adam picked the leaves of the Tree and made a delicious Good
And Evil Salad.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you
must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for
when you eat of it you will die.

Adam desired to taste of the fruit, and he decided that if he was going to get in trouble for breaking a commandment he might as well go all out. So he waited until the tree was heavy with fruits, then binged on all of them in one sitting. And the Lord definitely cast him out of Eden – but on the plus side, thousands of years later his descendants had excellent moral compasses and always knew the right thing to do in every situation.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam obeyed the commandment, and instead he ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool. Then he saw his own nakedness, and found it unfashionable, so he made a snazzy jacket out of leaves and bark. And the Lord saw the jacket, and said “Adam, have you eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool?” And Adam said “You’re not my dad, you can’t tell me what to do.” And the Lord sent him forth from the garden, but Adam just said “Laaaaaaaaaame”.

“but on the plus side, thousands of years later his descendants had excellent moral compasses and always knew the right thing to do in any situation.”  Which is not to say they *did* it, they just knew what they *should* do.

“so Adam ate the serpent”