simon-newman:

alamuts-lair-of-madness:

eldritchgentleman:

simon-newman:

eldritchgentleman:

thecuckoohaslanded:

lilyvonpseudonym:

kidkillianxvii:

lilyvonpseudonym:

mousathe14:

thewholekeg:

mousathe14:

mkaiww:

jamyesterday:

burntcopper:

questbedhead:

homeworldlapis:

to add to this “humans are weird” thing
did you know that humans are the only species on earth with the ability to throw things with any significant degree of accuracy and force (apes can throw with about the force of a human ten year old, but cant lock their wrists well enough for accuracy)

and we just never really think about it bc its so easy and simple to us that pretty much all of our sports are based around the concept of throwing things accurately

so
what if the concept of projectile weapons takes most species FOREVER to get the hang of, or even come up with in the first place.
a human goes onto a ship and throws some trash into the nearest reclaimer, shouts “kobe!” and all the other aliens on board absolutely LOSE THEIR MINDS

I definitely didn’t know this about humans but it’s actually really neat

‘This place needs a dartboard.’
*darts is explained*
‘You… throw sharp objects at a tiny point on a circle with the expectation of hitting it and mock those who do not achieve this amazing feat.’
‘It’s better if you’ve had a couple of beers.’
‘You insist that you’re more accurate when partially intoxicated. I have seen you intoxicated. Fine motor control is not something I associate with intoxication.’
‘The one sport where doping is actually encouraged.’
‘Humans. How. Just how. ’
‘You think this is hard, try throwing cards.’

I’m now super enchanted with the idea that there are all these alien racs out there that basically didn’t do projectiles until at least they had geometry and aerodynamics worked out– no throwing stones or slings and arrows, nothing range until catapults with some heavy maths calculations behind them because they couldn’t eyeball it. And some of them not even having that– going from hand-to-hand to computer-targetted bombs, pretty much. And then coming to earth and finding out about spears and bows and arrows and slings and skipping stones– and suddenly there’s a rush on their homeworlds of all these really bad pop-xenopyschoanthropology books about the effect of being able to kill at a distance on our pyschocultural development, how it effects our perception of ourselves and the universe – all these bad science, lurid explanations about how this has effected our strange alien minds to give us warped senses of territoriality or death or social-unit-bonding.

@space-australians

Of all the humans are weird I like this one the most. Feels mundane enough yet just weird enough without making us out to be supersoldiers because I dunno I guess aliens have weak constitutions now or something..

Most ‘humans are weird’ things try to focus on the things humans can do that most animals can’t, but like, they kinda blow it out of proportion. Like sure humans are sturdier than most animals but not by THAT much.

Personally, I’ve always like the combination of facts that A) We’re obscenely flexible compared to anything with else with bones B) We have crazy endurance and C) We’re DTF pretty much whenever. And whatever, for that matter.

Super soldiers nothing, I’m pretty sure Humans would be the Weird Sex Alien.

Those ones are also decent and reasonable “humans can be cool space alien planet of hat biological archetypes too!”

humans:

• internal organs are full of acid
• eats poison for fun
• can throw things like woah
• can run for a long time even when normally you would get tired
• flexy
• probably will fuck you if you ask

Accurate.

Oh, hey, forgot about this one.

(Edit: just posted my full tag rant as a comment since it got cut off)

my problem with a lot of the ‘humans are space orcs’ posts, is that a lot of the things that come up make biological sense, when you consider our rough body shape (i.e. bipedal and high intelligence)

we’re more energy efficient and good at being pursuit predators BECAUSE WE ONLY NEED TWO LEGS, that’s HALF AS MANY LEGS, so we use less energy to move, and in order to do this (and many other things) we need larger brains, that can handle things like balance easily, and because we have two limbs that aren’t used for walking, they can be specialized for object manipulation which easily leads to dexterity and accuracy, and an advanced collarbone and shoulder joint and muscle control that leads to throwing things

a LOT of humans are space orcs posts are just, imagine this species that should have evolved all the same things as us, but is absolutely SHOCKED by it because for some biologically unlikely reason they aren’t basically the same thing, a lot of criticism of scifi ends up being ‘the aliens look too much like humans’, but you know what, a highly intelligent apex species with advanced communication WOULD LOOK A LOT LIKE US, as an apex species they’d most likely have evolved as predators, and therefore needed binocular vision (at least), plus BIOLOGY REALLY LIKES SYMMETRY so two eyes two ears two nostrils bipedal high intelligence advanced vocal communication etc, …are pretty much all BASIC REQUIREMENTS of any species that would develop enough for space travel

if anything should freak out other species about us it’s probably our psychology not our biology, we have an ABSURD range of sociological behavior and emotional triggers, we can be compassionate easily to the point of sacrificing our lives to an altruistic cause (we do this regularly!), but also like … sometimes we murder each other because of parking spots

our social psychology is NOT conducive to developing space travel, we’re so VOLATILE and we form cliques that hate each other, WE’RE NOT SUITED TO BEING IN FRAGILE CONFINEMENT PROTECTING US FROM THE VACUUM OF SPACE, OH AND OUR PROPULSION SYSTEMS ARE BASICALLY SLOW BOMBS, WE’RE FUCKING IDIOTS WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE SURVIVED LONG ENOUGH FOR SPACE TRAVEL

we’d kill each other in one heartbeat and die for each other in the next, we’re FUCKED UP psychologically as a species and THAT’s probably the weirdest thing about us, most space orc posts are just … how the biology of a species that got to our point SHOULD work

Okay but going back to “Humans are really good at throwing stuff”. Imagine how shocked and terrified aliens would be regarding hand grenades. Here is a very small explosive weapon which a human can casually throw in the midst of alien soldiers. Very small, very powerful and humans can carry loads of them and use them without any kind of targeting aid.

And now imagine if most of the other aliens had the ability to spit liquid at about a dozen meters or more with many standard technologies designed to make use of this mundane ability.

And then humans come along and just can’t.

A human spits some saliva at like 3-4 meters and tells the alien he is really good at this and the alien just stands there with a “Are you Effing kidding me?” face.

But now combine both of those things:

“So let me get this straight Xahar of the Crimson Sand: You can spit your goo at about a dozen meters?”
“It’s not goo Human Steve. Shinegh plays an important role in many of my cultu…”
“Ok, shinegh sorry. So you can spit your shinegh  at a bout a dozen meters, with pinpoint accuracy and enough kinetic force to at least stun a small creature. Is that correct?”
“Indeed Human Steve. It was one of the favourite past times of my pack-mates and I, during our juvenile phase to shoot our shinegh at mohoks during their breeding season.”
“Yeah that… So you can spit far with great accuracy, but are still unable to crumble a piece of paper and throw it into the trash can across the room by hand?” *Proceeds to do the exact thing*
“Why do you always have to flaunt your talents in front of me Human Steve?”

Some piece of equipment is activated by a button placed in a way that everyone can activate it with their shinegh and then Steve from Earth just showed up with a round object he called a “baseball” one day and threw it at the button from across the room.

The entire bridge went quiet like it wasn’t an emergency because whaaaa?