I used to get so mad when other counselors would tell the campers that the fruit trees around us were poisonous, or that they were all sprayed with dangerous chemicals. They weren’t! They were Himalayan blackberries. Salmonberries. Thimbleberries. Raspberries. Oregon grape. Cherries. Apples. Pears. All good, delicious stuff!
I know some of them did it out of ignorance, and probably really did believe that the fruit was inedible, or were too afraid to say “I don’t know”. But others did it because they wished to keep kids on-task for activities so that they weren’t distracted by ripe berries. You fools! Nothing is worth that—nothing! I can promise you that no camp activity was of more worth or value or general life enhancement than allowing children to find delight and appreciation in nature. No game or ceremony or arbitrary rule can offer more joy or freedom than plucking a wild fruit off the bush, knowing it is good to eat.
Sure, you can make it on time to lunch if you tell a child that a salmonberry will kill them. But you’re lying—you’re teaching them to view wild things as innately hostile and foreign, when you ought to be teaching them how to identify plants, how to be cautious, and how to see themselves as part of the world. Let them be late to activities! Let them hop fences if no one’s around to complain! Let them be distracted and juice-stained and sticky! Let them be sweet-seeking animals, and, if you really want to be responsible, just make sure they wash the fruit before eating it. When are they going to have another, better chance…?
Yes! This!
Teach the kids about the local plants. What is edible and what is dangerous! If you don’t know, let the kids know that. They can smell the rote answer as just placating them.
I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…
The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.
Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”
Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”
Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”
My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”
Zombie : “AARRRGH”
Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”
Zombie : “TEETH!!”
This happened to me.
Scary prison dude: HELLO
Me: Nice to meet you!
Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot
My worst horror house experience was when I couldn’t find the (rather obvious) exit and the guy chasing me with a chainsaw stopped, sighed and pointed me to the exit, saying “please scream as loud as you can when you run out there” and just left. I disappointed the horror house chainsaw dude and I will never get over that
Guy: They are all my friends.. (motioning to hanging corpses; then grabs a noose) Will you be my friend? Me: Sure totally, you made me a friendship necklace? Oh my god your so sweet? Guy: … Yes.. Please, let me.. I cant I cant just go (laughing).
– Got to walk a second time through–
Same guy: My friends -wailing- Me: I came back I just really wanted to be friends so bad Guy: (laughing more) Please, Im not allowed to laugh.
I went to a Haunted House and literally befriended every actor there.
Specifically, I remember;
There were zombies walking around in the waiting room. I said “Hi!” and he gave me a high five. Every time he passed from then on, I got a high five.
Near the end, there were these twin little girls. “Come play with us.” They said. “Okay!” I said. “Forever.” They said. “Oh, sorry, can’t do that. I’m busy.”
I could hear them giggling.
Guy playing Freddie Kruger: Remember, you are all my children!
Me: thanks dad
A small chorus of teenagers: thanks dad
I went to a haunted corn maze once. Someone ran at me with a chainsaw. I just stared at him. He hung his head and walked away. I left.
The Real Horror Is The People We Dissapointed Along The Way
IM CRYING
When I was like three my parents took me on a haunted train ride and my sister was freaking out but I was like?? Oh neat
And an actor in costume as a vampire or whatever came down and was like “how do you do little one” all looming and creepy or whatever and i brightly answered “very well thank you!!” And tried to shake his hand bc my mother raised me with MANNERS
I remember once at universal studios I was overstimulated and ready to go home but my family didn’t want to leave so I was just standing in the middle of everything trying not to cry and the beetlejuice dude came up to me and growled and wiggled his fingers in my face so I just did the same thing to him and walked away
The sound you just heard was ETD sitting up in bed not yet knowing what was wrong, but knowing something is wrong all the same as I cackle from the next room over.
Marvel directors: Even when actors like Chris Evans do their own stunts, we make sure they’re VERY wired in and rehearse a lot before filming. We also add dangerous weapons in in post so there’s no chance of danger, even with a prop. 🙂
Good Omens directors: We’re making David Tennant DRIVE A FLAMING CAR and IF HE DIES, HE DIES
it is the most wonderfully made, historically inaccurate, giddily fun, perfectly paced, goofy horror movie romance novel bullshit bonanza that has ever blessed the silver screen.
i mean it is just so beautifully full of every genre without being overwhelming. we’ve got: comedy, action, suspense, horror, romance, adventure, ancient aesthetics, and it’s a period piece. all perfectly balanced and blended into one movie.
and the characters are so LIT
we got our main babe, evelyn “motherfucking” carnahan, a super-klutz librarian, total history nerd, and certified badass/damsel in distress. she raises the dead on accident, because she cannot resist books, and has the guts to put that motherfucker back where he came from and literally saves the world. evie’s greatest hits:
“what is a place like me, doing in a girl like this?!”
*after totally destroying the library* “i’ve just made a bit of a mess in the library.”
“no harm ever came from reading a book.”
evelyn:*upon opening the tomb* “i’ve dreamt about this since i was a little girl.” rick: “you dream about dead guys?”
“oops.”
then we’ve got rick“brendan fraser” o’connell, your not-so-typical battle hardened gun slinger with a heart of gold. he seems filthy, rude, and a complete scoundrel at first, but then he turns into a literal puppy, with massive heart eyes, that worships the ground evie walks on. rick’s greatest hits:
*screams at mummy*
*screams at sand*
*screams at things that are illogical to scream at*
*screams*
next is our Comedic Relief Character™, jonathan carnahan, who also rises above his trope. he’s there for the laugh sure, but is never useless. he actively helps to move the plot along and isn’t just there. he also is the farthest thing from brainless and annoying. jonathan’s greatest hits:
evelyn: “have you no respect for the dead?” jonathan: “of course i do, but sometimes i’d rather like to join them.” same.
oh and that time he was like “IMHOTEP” and saved his own ass like that was so smooth, y’all know what i’m talking about right??
then there is ardeth BAE. he is the audience rolling his eyes because *sighs* white people. he’s tired of these motherfucking mummies in this motherfucking desert. literally prettier than everyone. (he has a much bigger role in the mummy returns, but is still so fab here)
and of course THE MUMMY. imhotep. actual emo. literally carved some poetry into the back of his sarcophagus when he was buried alive with flesh eating bugs, because he is that Extra™. just wants to bring his girlfriend back to life so he can make out with her without it being treason.
and all the side characters are also gr8.
now i wanna take a moment to talk about the romance. because it is so BEAUTIFUL. like usually in action movies it’s macho man undermines girl and they bone. not here. no time for that shit.
rick and evie have such a great relationship based on mutual respect and affection. they both cater to each other’s strengths and cover each other’s weaknesses. they are the literally definition of: “those two. in a fight, they’re lethal. around each other, they melt”
what else, i could literally talk about this movie all day.
the special effects have held up pretty well. the music score is GORGEOUS. the costumes are amazing. the makeup, especially for anck su namun, OH WOW. the george of the jungle era brendan fraser sign me the fuck up. rachel weisz.
so many good things.
it’s just great.
#i secretly rate every action movie from 0 to the mummy
it’s a beautiful mess of a movie that can be enjoyed by people of all ages and transcends time and posterity as the alpha mummy movie, and to those who disagree i beseech you:
There is hardly a thing I can say in its favor, except that I was
cheered by nearly every minute of it. I cannot argue for the script, the
direction, the acting or even the mummy, but I can say that I was not
bored and sometimes I was unreasonably pleased.
I reblog this every time I see it, because it’s one of life’s hardest lessons.
“Do or do not, there is no try” is the worst damn advice I was ever been given as a child. Fuck telling kids that their mistakes are the result of deliberate choice; let them know that they can fail for reasons totally beyond their control, and let them know that it’s just important that they earnestly try.
I can’t believe Captain Picard learned everything he knows from Beyoncé.
Always reblog Picard and Beyoncé
Do or do not, there is no try doesn’t mean your mistakes are the result of your own choices. It doesn’t mean you can’t fail and learn from those mistakes to do better next time.
Yoda was trying to tell Luke that The Force was already a part of him, he could still make mistakes and he had to practice to get better at controlling his abilities, but the power was always there waiting to be harnessed. It wasn’t intended as a life lesson for the audience, and definitely wasn’t meant to be used to tell kids if they fail once they’ll never be able to do it.
Luke was pushing too hard, but he didn’t believe in what he was doing. Yoda wanted Luke to get back to the mindset he was in when he destroyed the Death Star. He wasn’t overthinking all the variables and absolutely believed in The Force and what he could do. But just because he could focus and fire exactly where he needed to doesn’t mean it still couldn’t have gone wrong. There could have been a grate over the vent, or a shield that deflected the shot. Even though he did everything right it still could have gone wrong through no fault of his own.
Yoda wasn’t trying to teach Luke that if he did his best he would always succeed, just to believe in himself and his abilities. Whether it works out the way he wants after that or not is beyond Luke’s control.
Yoda was essentially saying “Come on, you can do it. You’ve got this!” Not “Do it now or you’re a failure forever”
