Tag: Text

biscourse?

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thebibliosphere:

agigabyte:

thebibliosphere:

dranikitten:

bloopsalot:

onsheka:

aeneasoftroy:

bloopsalot:

onsheka:

bloopsalot:

onsheka:

bloopsalot:

people get surprisingly heated over what the fuck a biscuit is. 

Put a european and an american in a room with a plate of both kinds of biscuits and they lose their fucking minds and all suddenly become super patriotic

why would you bring up the Forbidden Biscourse

Because people should know what happens when a server is a 50/50 split of europeans and americans and the dangers it brings

cant believe the first ever hardline discord rule wasnt “no bigotry” or even “no horny on main” but in fact “no Biscourse”

meanwhile confused scandinavians and assorted europeans stare at this English Language Fuckery

The streets were painted red in the blood of native english speakers. Those that learned english gazed in horror as they have difficulty to comprehend just the sheer magnitude of power a small grain confectionery could contain.

No man knows not of the rage of that being the man whose language is questioned. 

Not to mention the deeply held passions shared by the participants for bread and sweets. It’s the only true thing to be patriotic about in both countries at this rate and we try to encourage optimism.

# yall haven*t even mentioned the fact that it got rated 18+ # like for a food discourse it stays remarkably on topic # probably because the biscourse is a mockery of all other internet discourses # gets all of the argumentative energy out in a way that leaves you laughing at how utterly ridiculous the whole thing is # its ruined online arguments for me because they read just like the biscourse and then i cant take them seriously

look aeneas, some sins should be left to rest unmentioned many of us said things that we arent proud of things got heated

things got baking hot you might say

it didnt knead to get so heated to warrant the age gate but it did

Hey @thebibliosphere, as somebody who has lived on both sides of the pond and had both forms of biscuit, what’s your opinion on what a biscuit should be?

Biscuit to me will always be the UK kind. Cookie is a very specific type of biscuit, but I tend to use “cookie” universally because I don’t want to have to engage in “I love British people, I feel it’s my spiritual home. “Telly”, “bloody hell”, “crumpets” lol” thing that happens when certain people find out you’re from there.

US biscuits are always scones in my head too and I still refer to them as such, cause y’know, savory scones are a thing too. They’re not the exclusive reserve of preserves and clotted cream, contrary to things anglophiles say.

*Throws a very patriotic-looking American biscuit at you*

You’re wrong and you should feel bad.

Good thing those things have the texture of a wet sponge or that might have hurt 😛

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digdipper09:

reioka:

A concept: Steve, with super soldier sensitive nose, finds women smell a lot better than men. Not that men smell bad, just… women seem to use more subtle floral or fruity smelling things. Men’s stuff is always spicy in some way. The first time he went to buy himself soap and he swiveled down the men’s aisle he was nearly knocked off his feet by the smell. (He has JARVIS order his soap now.) The women’s aisle is cloying but not bad.

So he can’t understand why Tony always smells so good.

It drives him absolutely bananas. When they’re in the decontamination showers, Tony still smells good, even with the plain soaps everyone has to use. Sometimes Bruce has to use his shower but he never smells the same as Tony. Steve’s even gone so far as to sneak into Tony’s bathroom (and then been shocked by the sheer amount of product that exists in Tony’s shower) and try and sniff out what exactly it is, but he can’t find it. He figures it’s just something that’s specifically Tony.

And then he sees Tony rubbing something creamy onto his bruised arm after a battle. The only reason he doesn’t tackle Tony to the ground is because he saw him get thrown into a building and he’s probably sore. “WHAT’S THAT!” he bellows without meaning to, making every Avenger except for Bruce jump, and that’s only because Bruce is passed out across Thor’s lap. Tony stares at him in terror before cautiously answering, “A bruise cream?” He makes a startled, squeaky noise as Steve lunges at him, pressing his nose to his skin. There. That’s the smell. “What’s in it,” he hisses like some sort of goblin. “…Aloe and arnica?” Tony squeaks. “It smells good,” Steve tells him with perhaps more aggression than he means to again. “…Thank you,” Tony says after a minute, at a loss for literally any other words.

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Steve: WHAT’S THAT!!!

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Tony: …. A Bruise Cream…?

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Steve: w HATs’ IN IT

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Tony: Aloe and arnica…?

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Steve: ….

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I had to. I just had to. God, @reioka, your ideas!!! Just. Your IDEAS!!!

Here come the most Extra of turtles and tortoises

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hyratel:

chaussettesock:

turtlessuggest:

Indian Roof Turtle, about as close to a dragon turtle as we’re likely to get.

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Burmese Roof Turtle, with a banana for a head

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Diamondback Terrapin, the Rorschach of turtles

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Red-Bellied Short-Necked Turtle, just look at those colors!

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Burmese Starred Tortoise, geometrically chic

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Radiated Tortoise, also geometrically chic but maybe more art deco

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Painted Terrapin, no need to send in the clowns

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Leopard Tortoise, breaking the mold with a little art noveau

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Bell’s Hingeback Tortoise, “You think box turtles got it on lockdown? Hold my noms and watch this!”

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Impressed Tortoise, what it says on the tin

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Cane Turtle, otherwise known as “Winner Of Turtle Death Glare Competition Since Forever”

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Mata-Mata Turtle, the very definition of chaotic Neutral as a turtle

Spiny turtle, a very sharp and very dangerous boy

Cantor’s giant softshell turtle, a pancake with turtle pieces

Alligator snapping turtle, a real life honest dragon

@ocoree @hashkivenu @dovewithscales

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dzamie:

aricide:

thestarsaredown:

cutest-angel-in-heaven:

swede-bloggg:

pep95:

queenbradbury:

omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon

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and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there

and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza

and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door

so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens

demono

((”Not just pizza”))

((”but eternal damnation”))

Alternate theory: It wasn’t that the pizza guy couldn’t cross the line of salt himself.

He just saw the line of salt and assumed that it was the only thing keeping you and your brother in, and he didn’t want nothing to do with your demon asses

As a manager a dominos i can confirm that, as an equal opportunity employer, we employ an astonishing amount of demons and hellbeasts

It’s like 50/50 between “pizza guy was a demon” and “pizza guy thought you had/were a demon”

@dovewithscales

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mamalaz:

mamalaz:

Harry Potter/Avengers AU

The Avengers are a team of Witches and Wizards fighting against the Dark Lord Thanos. 

Tony is the mad Wizarding inventor who is a genius with a wand. Bruce is a part-time healer, full-time shape-shifting werewolf. Clint and Natasha are Unspeakables. Thor is a Quidditch beater. And Auror Steve has one hell of a shield charm. 

(Oh, and Loki is a Death Eater, which no one is surprised about)

Just needed to add an imperio’d Bucky as the Winter Sorcerer and Peggy in Steve’s compass…

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Oh! And Peter going to Hogwarts having Harry Potter like adventures. And Mad Eye Fury is Head of the Department of Mysteries…

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And T’Challa, who is from the completely magical kingdom of Wakanda (and has an Animagus that is a black panther). And Scott, who has been incarcerated in Azkaban.

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Oh, and I missed Quidditch Warrior Thor the first time (who usually prefers being a beater) so here he is with Wanda, who is a defected ex-Death Eater

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flamingbluepanda:

deannaboi:

fuckyeah-nerdery:

deducecanoe:

myotherblogisatardis:

needsmorestartrek:

noblette:

tos rewatch → shore leave 

That sassy shit-eating grin gets me every time.

Kirk’s squint in the last gif makes me lol forever.

His squint is epic. he knows he’s been gotten good.

He got played.

I like how Spock takes the time to look down at the chart in the second to last gif like he doesn’t know

This moment is nothing but pure gold

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teaboot:

teaboot:

teaboot:

teaboot:

The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie could honestly be a movie in itself and it’s honestly a waste that my entire life isn’t constantly recorded on film because it would be HILARIOUS

1. That one time I decided to see what was past the old gate in the woods, but when got there it had been smashed in half and there was a decapitated sheep head with no skin just off the trail, so instead I just turned around and went home.

2. That time some friends and I went camping and we found a pile of bones wrapped in a garbage bag buried under a log, but the adult supervisor told us it was nothing, so we just put it back and didn’t talk about it again.

3. The time I was getting chased through the woods at night and I realized “wait it’s dark as fuck” so I just held still until the guy gave up and left.

4. The time this dude said he was in love with me and so he was going to cut my head off and dump my body in a lake, so I told him to grow the hell up, but then he got caught stealing girl’s underwear a day later and I never saw him again

5. That one time in college where I was taking a shortcut on my home at night and a car followed me into a dark alley, so I stared directly into the driver’s side of the window and walked towards it to psych them out

6. The night I was out on a walk and this old guy told me he’d locked his keys in his truck and that he needed someone my size to crawl in through the back window for him, so I told him “you know that sounds super suspicious right” and told him where to find a pay phone for a tow truck instead

7. The one time this random guy on the street said he was in love with me and so he was going to follow me home on my bus, so I clapped him on the shoulder and told him that if he got that close to my bus then I was going to throw him under the wheels, but then this really nice homeless man from Nigeria told the guy to fuck off and then checked to make sure he didn’t follow me onboard

8. That big cat with yellow eyes who I found in a well and brought home who used to put rotting meat in my closet and wake me up by chewing on my face, until I put him back outside and never saw him again.

9. My one cousin who used to come over for the summer who kept calling me ‘piñata’ and hitting me with sticks, until he went back home and was sent to juvie cause he finally got caught torturing animals

10. The time I got lost on the way to a meeting and wound up at a circus tent instead, and got followed by a full-out clown for three vacant street blocks

11. The pet hamster I had when I was seven who would scream all night and eventually escaped by ripping a bar out of its cage and wiggling through the hole. My mom caught it and put it back but it lived another year and a half until one night the screaming just stopped

12. The time I was whistling in the woods and something started whistling back, so I went home

13. That one night at summer camp where a group of girls got together to play ‘bloody mary’ in the lavatory and invited me to come with them so I said “no thanks” and stayed with the camp councillors and drank soup instead.

14. The old abandoned house I just moved into with the door that leads into a big empty room full of dirt and empty cooking pots that I just sort of… locked up forever and never go near

15. Once when I was at an ihop I saw a coffee mug do a full 360º spin with nobody touching it, so I said ‘that was neat’ and never ate there again

16. The time I took a photo of a big old raven sitting on the crucifix on top of the old town church cause it was the most goth thing I’d ever seen, right? But then it swooped down towards me, so I apologized immediately for being rude, and I felt a little silly for a while but the car that hit me on the way home didn’t even leave a bruise so idk be nice to birds

Sorry I know I bring this shit up a lot but sometimes im awake at night and I just. keep thinking

I think the secret to survival is to be good to animals, stay away from men, and say “no thanks” to everything else