*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free
invasive species encroach on lesbian territory
This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.
A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.
As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.
This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.
A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.
Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.
Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.
Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.
As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.
Tumblr has made and official statement on twitter about what’s going on:
We’re committed to helping build a safe online environment for all users, and we have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to media featuring child sexual exploitation and abuse. As this is an industry-wide problem, we work collaboratively with our industry peers and partners like NCMEC to actively monitor content uploaded to the platform. Every image uploaded to Tumblr is scanned against an industry database of known child sexual abuse material, and images that are detected never reach the platform. A routine audit discovered content on our platform that had not yet been included in the industry database. We immediately removed this content. Content safeguards are a challenging aspect of operating scaled platforms. We’re continuously assessing further steps we can take to improve and there is no higher priority for our team.
Please please please, for the love of everything, stop spreading fear in our community. They are not purging your blogs for having NSFW content. If your blog gets deleted and you didn’t have any of the above mentioned content, or something that could be percived as such, then please contact Tumblr Support to regain your blog. They can be contacted via the form here.
Please reblog so people stop spreading false information and cause unnecesary fear.
Not to be #thatperson but I feel like national news isn’t fully realizing how bad this is. Not to detract from the horror of Paradise and surrounding towns but this is really bad. And Sacramento is worse.
It is that bad, and you are not supposed to mind. You are supposed to accept the new normal. Sometimes American cities will be uninhabitable. Sometimes America will just burn. You will be encouraged to identify with this. It’ll probably be a whole thing, like how New Englanders take pride in driving in snowstorms.
The city of San Francisco currently has the worst air quality of anywhere in the world because of the wildfires. (This level of air quality, incidentally, is bad for people and kills them.) These once-in-a-lifetime wildfires will become more common in our lifetimes.
I think ! it’s okay! to say this isn’t fine!!
THIS IS NOT FINE
TEN YEARS AGO THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN TOP OF NEWS CYCLE DISASTER COVERAGE
THIS IS REALLY REALLY BAD AND WE SHOULD NOT LOOK AWAY
A few more things to think about:
a) This is happening in a region where the majority of the population does not have air conditioning in their homes, because the climate in the coastal parts of the Bay Area (including the East Bay, where we live) is typically very mild, and rarely gets warm enough to require cooling. Right now, it’s also not warm enough to require A/C for cooling, but A/C can also be used to filter indoor air. So most Bay Area residents do not have any technological means to filter the air inside their homes. When hbbo and I left earlier this week, the air inside was vastly better than the air outside, but the smoke was still so bad indoors that we were wearing N95 masks inside our apartment. Telling people to stay inside is a pretty inadequate way of protecting them when the air inside is so bad you taste ash every time you pull your mask down to take a sip of water.
c) N95 masks, the only protective mechanism most Bay Area residents have access to, frequently don’t fit children correctly, because their faces are too small to allow for a good seal, and a lot of public health outlets are just flat-out recommending against having children wear them. Just—think about that, for a second. The entire Bay Area and Central Valley are in the middle of a public health crisis that has, now, for large swathes of that area, lasted for over a week. There are very few places in that entire area, indoors or out, where you can go to get a full breath of clean air. So, throughout that area, most kids are just—breathing in smoke. All day. Every day. Indoors and out.
d) I grew up in Los Angeles and I’ve lived in California for most of my life (I’m 37), and yes, wildfires have always been a part of the California experience. But not in November. It used to be that California had a well-defined “fire season” that lasted from about May to about October, with the worst of the fire risk in the most heavily populated parts of the state coming between mid-August and mid-October, which is, for wide swathes of California, the hottest part of the year (I know this sounds bananas to non-Californians, but this is just what our climate’s like: our perceptual summer is dramatically late-shifted into the autumn, and our technical “summers” can actually be quite cool, especially if you’re near the coast, as is true in SF and LA).
e) You can use Breezometer to compare the air quality in the Bay Area to the air quality in your location. The air quality at our apartment is currently 18/100 on their scale (higher is better); it’s dipped as low as 12 at various points this week. As I’m writing this on Saturday morning, the air quality is noticeably improving for most of the state, but:
…last night, and for several days previous, that blob of red centered around Chico was contiguous all the way west to the coast, down the coast past Monterey, and all the way south (through that area that’s currently orange/yellow) down the middle of the state—the Central Valley—to Visalia, and orange down to Bakersfield. Because I think California scale is hard to grasp sometimes: it’s about a three hour drive in no traffic just from San Jose to the area that hbbo and I are staying, near San Luis Obispo (marked on the map as “San Luis” because the “Obispo” got cut off—green area on the western coast, near the bottom of this screencap). The actual fire, which is near Chico, is about 370 miles (595 km), or a five and a half hour drive, from the southern edge of its smoke cloud in Bakersfield.
Not my normal post, but please spread this around!! I live fairly close to the fires and I know that is bad and how frightened they are! I lost my house in a fire once and the experience was traumatic. So if you, or someone you know lives in the area of the Paradise, or Malibu fires, please do this or share it if you don’t!
No no no no no. Do not leave food and water out for the animals. Definitely bring your animals in because the wild ones will be more frequent in your area but do not leave out food and water for them. They will become dependent on people and if that happens then they cannot survive on their own which harms them more in the long run. The department of wildlife has warned of this as it gets spread through social media every time we are on fire. The animals will be fine. They can find what they need.
Actually, you should probably leave out pans of water, because these animals are fleeing fire and need to cool down and recharge. Food, no; water, yes. They will be able to find food, but leaving some water out for them won’t hurt anything, I don’t think.
water is probably fine, I think? but absolutely avoid any contact with wild animals who show up. keep your own animals indoors out of reach, and stay out of their way and let them go about their business. stay safe out there!
OK we do this pretty much every year in CO and this is how it goes:
WATER IS FINE, WATER IS GOOD. Animals fleeing the fire are more dehydrated than anything else. I reccomend filling up a kidde pool with a couple inches from the garden hose, and leave a couple large rocks in to stablize the pool/let things like birds and bees drink from it. Also include a 2×4 with one end in the pool and the other over the edge to be an escape route for smaller animals. I also reccomend leaving some plates with a bit of water in them for really small animals like spiders, snakes, toads and other things that would have difficulty getting into the pool.
Beyond the necessary stuff to keep your own house safe in the event of fire, SKIP THE YARD WORK- you probably shouldn’t be exterting yourself in the smoke anyway, and fleeing animals will appreciate the additional cover.
LET THEM NAP. Most animals that come to your yard will usually keep moving within a day or so and are only there to rest until they’re well out of the smoke. If you find an animal in your yard that isn’t obviously injured or ill, just give it a wide berth and let it rest. If it’s in EXACTLY the same place after 48 hours, then you should call animal control.
KEEP FOOD, PETS AND CHILDREN INSIDE. Keep your trash in the garage, bring in birdfeeders, and if you let your cats roam… just don’t in general, but right now is a super bad time becuase there’s hungry coyotes about. Stick your head out the back door and give your yard a quick look before letting the dog or children out and supervise them while they’re outside.
EXCEPTION TO THE FOOD RULE: GARDENS. When animals learn there’s food in houses or trash cans, that’s not great. Foraging food off of plants like munching your tomatoes and that zucchini you weren’t going to eat is less of an issue, because it doesn’t really teach them to associate humans and houses with food. Let them monch your crops.
SECURE YOUR HOUSE COMPLETELY- lock doors, block off any pet doors you have, cover your window wells, and lock all your windows, even the ones on the upper floors. This will keep both displaced wildlife AND smoke out of your home. If possible, see if you can seal off your attic. If not, make sure your attic acess is secured. Racoons and bears are sneaky.
OBEY ANY AND ALL EVACUATION NOTICES, BURSH-CLEARING INSTRUCTIONS AND ANY OTHER INSTRUCTIONS GIVEN TO YOU BY EMERGENCY SERVICES. Stay safe kids.
11/2 Today Goofus the Peacock killed a mouse and instead of eating it right away, decided to wander around the pasture carrying it in his beak. The feral cats always appreciate dead-rodent-based performance art, so they followed behind Goofus single file to make a Very Exciting Dead Rodent Parade.
At one point Goofus stopped and put down his rodent and one of the feral cats dared to sniff at it, and Goofus unleashed The Most Terrifying Honk, something along the lines of I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND YOUR BONES WILL BE FORGOTTEN ON THE FROZEN EARTH WHEN I SNUFF OUT THE SUN AND SING THE STARS TO DARKNESS I AM THE DEVOURER AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS
The feral cats, previously unaware that the Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things is currently living as a peacock, ran off at about fifty miles an hour and hid under the barn for the rest of the day. They didn’t even come out at milking time to beg for goat milk, which is a first.
We probably should not have named the Death Of The Universe And The End Of All Things “Goofus,” actually.
Are you kidding that’s the Prefect name for The Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things.
BAMF characters who happen to be female but that’s just a detail and no one makes it a Thing
Boys looking up in awe to cool female role models
Birkenstocks. But like, cool Birkenstocks. Metallic Birkenstocks. They’re really comfy ok
Remembering great personality details about Harry Potter book characters that didn’t make it into the movies.
Gun holsters but people use them to carry random stuff, like window washing tools, or carrots for horses
Platonic physical affection. Friends messing w/ my hair.
Villains w/ musical numbers
Kids excited about stuff and adults being excited with them
Relaxing but it’s after an unusually long day so it feels extra good
Fingers brushing your skin lightly and you get goosebumps
Watching people care about each other.
Finding a new song and knowing you can play it on a loop for ages and it will be satisfying every time
When there are a lot of people around but the cat/dog chooses me specifically
When a song that was just ok intensifies and suddenly makes you Emotion
When you’re doing a new book/movie/anything and the characters make you feel strong things you haven’t felt in a while
That feeling when a story rushes into your head in incredible detail and just keeps going
Those moments when you’re falling into sleep after being awake for too long.
Getting into that imagination space that you used to do easily as a kid, and you can daydream a story and it’s super real and satisfying
Finding something new that makes you happy.
When groups without much in common support each other anyway. When differences draw people together.
When people let good things happen.
Things that used to make you afraid, but now they excite you
Telling a joke assuming no one will laugh, but they do and it’s genuine.
People who pay attention when you’re talking, and respond to you, and are present
Being tired and calm after being put through the emotional wringer
That feeling of giddiness when you meet someone and it’s Good and sort of wakes you up.
Being excited to hang out with someone.
Those bits of books/shows where there’s not much action just characters and dialogue, and it’s like you’re just hanging out with them, and they become a second family, to the point you genuinely miss them if you go without re-reading/watching for too long.
Wanting something in a way that motivates you.
When certain worries stop worrying you
When you need a hug and you get one.
Being in bad pain but suddenly it ebbs.
That feeling when you discover you’re good at something you assumed would be harder
That feeling when a moment feels profound and you can see it as a scene from a tv drama where a song is playing or about to start
When people are important to each other.
Noticing something new about your personality and liking it. When your self-image changes in a good way. Realizing you like yourself.
When you’re a person with low-key emotions and you go into a rare super happy mood and have to lie down after
Also those rare moods where something’s so funny you literally are unable to stop laughing even if you wanted to, and the next day your ribs are sore
Remembering the refrain of a song you haven’t thought about in years.
That feeling when you’re zooming out and instead of seeing the last day, week, month, you see your whole life, and the world, and the universe, and you’re hovering above it, watching
Feeling sad and being able to cry instead of arresting & going into Numb Mode
That feeling when you realize something that was hard a year ago isn’t so hard anymore.
That feeling of knowing you are getting better, and suddenly the future opens up.
That feeling of believing you are going to be okay.
throwback thursday
Once I used a gun holster to hold my epipen and albuterol at a rave? My Near Death self makes this list.
For those wondering, my url comes from a famous post by @copperbadge, discussing depression & patronuses:
I struggled with major depression from about age 12 onwards. Reading this brought me joy and a spark of light in a dark place. I thought of it often to encourage myself during the dark patches. Now that I’m in the best health of my life, it gives me no small degree of satisfaction to look back on this.
wow
this blog has a surprisingly wholesome origin
i love it
full disclosure the first post i ever made was a reblog of the Good Guy Lucifer meme
The Riddler hijacks the local TV airwaves and appears onscreen holding a comically long roll of paper. After dramatically clearing his throat, he proceeds to read from it.
“The following is a list of people who can suck it. Number One: The Joker. I don’t think I need to explain that one. Number Two: Cluemaster. Fuck you, you stole my bit, and I will be like a plague unto your house. Number Three: King Tut. You also stole my bit, but did it while killing people and got me arrested for murder. Also, I’m, like, 93% sure you’re a white guy and your costume is racist.
“Number Four: The Scarecrow. I know you ate my leftover Chinese, Jon, even though I wrote my name on it. I was saving that for lunch. I had to eat a goddamn peanut butter and jelly sandwich like a five-year-old. It was all you had in the hideout. For fuck’s sake, go shopping, not all of us can live like a bridge troll.
“Number Five: The Penguin. You- No, no, wait, wait… That one should be crossed out. He replaced that and apologized. Never mind, Oswald, you’re fine. Drinks at 7:00 tomorrow, right?
“Anyway, where was…? Ah, yes. Number Six: The Mad Hatter. You carded me and left me like that for six hours because I, and I quote, ‘would not stop talking about Mythbusters.’ Well, excuse me for trying to make intellectually stimulating conversation on a level you could understand. I suppose every time you prattle on about mome raths and borogoves it’s goddamn Shakespeare? Well… Well, it’s Carroll, but… Oh, you know what I mean!
“Number Seven: Catwoman. You left me hanging by one hand from a ledge five stories up and holding a twenty-pound bag of jewels and very pointy
objets d’art while you ‘distracted’ the Dark Knight. I know you were making out with him, Selina. You were gone for fifteen minutes. My shoulder almost dislocated. Very unprofessional.
“Number Eight: Kite Man.”
Here the Riddler pauses, lifting his narrowed gaze to glare at the camera, voice dropping to an ominous tone.
“You know what you did…”
His demeanor shifts quickly, and he’s back to reading from his list almost cheerfully.
“Number Nine! Th-”
He’s interrupted by a crashing noise in the background and looks over his shoulder just an instant before a deep voice angrily growls, “Riddler!”
“Oh, for the love of-” He turns to glare at the camera, speaking quickly. “Number Nine: Batman! Interrupting me while I’m on television making very important- Hm-mmph!”
He’s reduced to muffled curses as a black gloved hand covers his mouth and pulls him out of frame. The camera tilts, a cracking noise is heard, and the broadcast turns to static.
KITE MAN’S CRIMES WERE NUMEROUS AND TERRIBLE
If I were batman I’d give him like a five minute warning, because this actually sounds theraputic.
Batman: Riddler, you’ve hijacked the TV airwaves and you know that’s wrong but I think this is actually theraputic. So I’m giving you five minutes, and then I’m taking you to Arkham
Robin: Geez get a facebook account for this crap, hell if you wanna vent to millions of strangers just get youtube.
“RIDDLER YOU CAN’T JUST GO ON TV AND SCREAM AT PEOPLE
THAT’S WHAT YOUTUBE IS FOR”
Riddler takes this advice. He gets his own youtube channel called RiddleMe_Th15. It starts out as being purely therapeutic, a platform for publically calling out those who have annoyed him. Then someone leaves him a pathetically easy riddle to solve in the comments, and he spends his next segment ranting about it, and then posing a better one.
This starts a dialogue with a number of other youtube users who both attempt to answer his riddles and pose their own riddles in return.
Riddler has found his people, and his hit count is climbing.
Seriously, Riddler would KILL IT (metaphorically speaking) on YouTube. He just does those weird animated puzzle videos where he poses lengthy, overly complicated puzzles, game theories, and riddles, then gives away…fuck I don’t know…Amazon or iTunes cards to whoever gets them right.
“Riddle me this: How can I ensure there are more videos like this one? The answer, my little quest solvers, is simple: Like and subscribe, and consider donating to my Patreon! Which isn’t much of a Riddle, but seriously I’m down to eating crackers and ramen right now and YouTube keeps demonetizing my videos because I used to be a supervillain.”
Bringing this back because “YouTube keeps demonetizing my videos because I used to be a supervillain” has to be shared and because I have some followers who have not experienced The Riddler Post.
Seriously, if you ever need a good time, just read all the responses in the notes. This post still ranks as one of the best things I’ve ever done.
Batman sees all of this and donates a substantial amount. He still can’t believe YouTube was the answer all along.
This is especially true with BTAS Riddler.
“Riddle me this… who’s the biggest asshole in games development this side of Ubisoft? It’s Daniel Mockridge who screwed the dev team, myself included, out of our royalties for Riddle of the Minotaur-”
Two days later Jim Sterling is calling Mockridge out, there’s a gofundme for the other people on the dev team, and Nigma’s halfway to funding the spiritual sequel on Kickstarter.
“Okay, more backer questions… Puzzlemaster323 sent says “Riddle Me This, will there be VR support.”, and I say of course there is! Ten years ago I trapped Batman and Robin a VR version of the first game and I threw that rig together in two months. We’ve worked out the motion sickness problems for 90% of users and the game will not kill you for real if you die in the game, but hardcore players can set it to give them a harmless jolt if they’re into that kind of thing.”
The Scarecrow: “I *did* eat his leftover Chinese. It’s messed up that he knows.”
