near-invisible wraiths who haunt in total darkness, seizing their prey with their fanged arms and distracting their enemies with bioluminescent…
oh, what? that doesn’t sound like a typical vampire, you say?
well, that’s because I’m talking about the…
who does all of these, and more
found only in the abyssal deeps, the Vampire Squid is neither a squid or an octopus, but something archaic doomed to forever haunt the veil between. OOOoooOOOoooh!
something unspeakable- squid, but not squid.
its foot-long gelatinous body is usually black or red, with haunting blue eyes and 8 tentacle arms lined with barbs connected by a thick web of skin. it glides through the water silently by flapping the two small fins on the sides of its head like the wings of a bat. just like a real vampire.
though if it bites you I’m reasonably sure you won’t turn into one
to add to this formidable weaponry, the vampire squid is almost completely covered in light-producing photophores which it uses to blind, misdirect, and confuse other predators. just like a real vampire
creatures of the night, obey me now and watch this sick lightshow
in fact, one of its favorite tricks is to fake a pair of glowing eyes with its photophores, creating two bright dots on the back of its head that quickly diminish in size, giving the optical illusion that the squid is quickly getting farther away and escaping. just like a real vampire
VOOSH! I AM ESCAPING! DO NOT FOLLOW.
if these attempts fail, the Vampire Squid’s last ditch defense is to literally turn itself inside out and become spikes.
no, seriously. they raise their cloak webbed arms up and over their body, presenting their attacker with the realization that this delicious spooky snack has suddenly become a football made of spikes
just like a real- okay, we’ll stop now. this is a little too weird even for us
so the next time you happen to be passing through the Low-Oxygen Zone between 2,000-3,000 ft in a temperate or tropical ocean , and you see a faint, glimmering light approaching…
