Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
Gomez in particular would enjoy your boldness, Cousin Intruder.
Oh shit.
The Addams family loves and greets every person entering one of their homes.
The Addams family adopted or married every person wishing to stay.
This is why the Addams family is full of freaks.
Of course.
So what we’re saying is, tracing the Addams’ geneology is damn near impossible and it’s just as likely that no living member of the family is actually a blood relative of the people who originally held the family name?
What I’m hearing is that Batman is actually an Addams.
He most certainly is
I mean, considering if you look at it in the light of a different story, the near (actual, factual) homicidal level of bond and love the Addams have for each other, the idea that they’re all adopted, the way that Bruce is often portrayed as a bit of an aloof, smarmy smarm in private, the possibility that young Bruce might not be wholly appreciative of his extended family’s eccentricities, of which his parents are the mildest of the bunch, the idea that those two parents are (distantly) Addams’ and get gunned down, well.
[Gomez]: I came, I came as soon as I heard
[Bruce]: I…I told you never to come back, I said, I said you were weird
[Gomez]: Please, my boy, to compliment me when you are so wracked with grief. *clutching hug* Dear Thomas, dear Martha, so full of life…
[Bruce]: *extricating* They….they fell in front of me…while he laughed…with mother’s pearls…
[Gomez]: The fiend! This dishonor cannot stand!
[Bruce]: And I felt….I felt it well up inside me, a black blood welling up…
[Gomez]: Yes, dear boy…
[Bruce]: I….will be vengeance….
[Gomez]: Yes….
[Bruce]: I…I will be the night!
[Gomez]: Yes!
[Bruce]: I….I am an Addams!
[Gomez]: YES!
[Bruce]: I. AM. BATMAN. *lightning, thunder*
[Gomez]: YES, YES!!! My boy, the rivers will run red with wonderful blood!
[Alfred]: *sigh* I’ll put the tea on and grab the foils then, shall I, sirs?
I mean when you think about it, if Bruce Wayne is an Addams, everything he does makes sense. Gotham makes sense. Damian Wayne, trained vegetarian assassin, makes more sense if he’s an Addams.
Now that we have accepted this revelation, I want you all to think about a hypothetical situation in which Bruce brings Superman and Wonder Woman to meet the Addamses.
I will reblog this EVERY GODDAMN TIME so people can understand how the US government taking more and more land from Natives is nothing new (even the land originally promised after being kicked off their original, sacred lands) and they NEED to be fucking stopped. They need to be held accountable for the destruction of our people not just then but also now.
and the land left to us is still disrespected constantly, ever-shrinking, trespassed upon, and denied support 💁♀️
Hey mother nature i love you and shit but like….what the fuckmy good bitch
Goodness!
Okay. I’m Canadian so I know a shit ton about staying warm if you’re new to the cold there here are some tips!(add more if you know more!)
1. Wear grippy shoes, nothing is worse than snowmelt freezing on your skin.
2.Do not wear jeans as your outter layer. wet denim is the most body heat siphoning mother fucker known to man or god
3. Have a warm drink with you. It will help. Even just some hot soup broth or boiled water will help keep you warm.
4. Wear a moisture wicking layer close to your skin so you don’t get cold from your own sweat. You will sweat. That is fine and expected.
5. If you start feeling too warm even though you were cold and like you have to take your clothes of DO NOT. Call 911. You are suffering from hypothermia.
6. Bring a blanket and a heat source that needs no electricity with you in your vehicle. You do not want to be stranded with no heat in the case that something happens.
7. If you are struggling on ice as you’re walking, stop. Get your balance and penguin shuffle to a less slippery patch of ground. There’s usually less ice on one side of the walk and it’s better to walk in the snow next to the sidewalk than it is to eat dirt when ya slip
8. STAY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK AWAY FROM FROZEN BODIES OF WATER. Ponds are deceptive as shit even with the “solid blue tried and true” thing. Go around.
9. Keep kids warm. They run at a higher body temperature and will feel the effects of the cold worse than you.
10. Huddling is your best friend. Even if you don’t know the person, remember you’re both cold, especially if they don’t have the right clothing for the weather.
11. Pay attention to windchill. That is how cold it feels. Dress appropriately please. I know it’s tempting to dress for style, but there’s nothing stylish about losing your toes to frostbite
12. Don’t touch metal if you can avoid it. It will sap your heat and likely freeze to anything wet. Like tongues. Don’t fucking lick a pole.
13. If someone licks something metal, pour warm water over their tongue to get them free. If they yank, they will bleed. A lot.
14. Keep your ears, noes, fingers, and toes warm. You’re extremities will get cold first and are the most likely parts of your body to get frostbite.
15. If you see someone who may not have a place to be in the cold, offer to help them find a local shelter or library. The elements, especially the cold, are some of the largest threats to those who cannot avoid them.
16. If you find yourself stuck outside for a long time, sleep during the day when it is warmest, and avoid sleeping on the ground. Stay awake as much as you can at night so you have a better chance of staying warm.
Also, look out for your local animals.
Cats will sleep on car wheels where you can’t see them – it’s elevated, rubber is warmer than the ground, and it’s a little hideyhole where they feel safe. Check your wheel wells and under your car before you go driving off, you might save a tiny life.
You can also, if you’re so inclined, make a little winter shelter for cats and small animals fairly easily and cheaply.
[Here] is a great (if lengthy) text guide to building shelters for local cats. [Here] is a video from the Ontario SPCA. [Here] is an even simpler (ad possibly cheaper) version of basically the same thing. As long as you smooth out the opening (so the lil guys don’t injure themselves on it), insulate, and line it, and then put it somewhere where it’s not going to get flooded or the animal snowed in, you’re grand. It might not seem like much in the face of subzero temperatures, but it’s damn well better than nothing.
SKADI I JUST SAID I’D LIKE SOME SNOW THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT
@systlin I feel like I remember this kind of thing happening last year as well so maybe you guys should come to an agreement on how much snow is “some”
This is true and also you are correct and apparently I learned nothing from last year.
I was literally just thinking “skaldi likes fucking with you”
The brain is just 8 lbs of meat that sits in complete darkness and plays a video game of what it thinks is the most realistic thing ever.
it’s 3lbs, not 8. also it’s not really meat, it’s mostly fat with some water and salt. You have a wad of soggy bacon inside your skull. And this blob of gross unprocessed jello somehow manages to run a complex biomechanical suit using less electricity than it takes to work a lightbulb.
And people wonder why humans are so fucking weird and have odd experiences that aren’t actually real. I mean, if a bowl of tapioca pudding managed to hallucinate so vividly it invented calculus, it also going “dude, i heard a weird noise and i’m 100% sure it was the ghost of the neighbor’s cat which hasn’t actually died yet” would be just as expected as anything else.
This video is being spread around on social media. It’s often titled “Historian schools billionaires on marginal tax rates” or something similar.
Rutger Bregman does lay down some truth bombs and it is nice to see him confront all the rich folks at the Davos conference without fear.
That said, I feel like he is not the star of this video. (And Rutger agrees.)
Some asshat from Yahoo spurted Trump talking points and asks how we can fix things without taxing the rich. Winnie Byanyima gives an amazing response about how we do not track quality jobs for unemployment numbers. Something I have been complaining about for a while now.
I thought maybe I would try to balance things and give her the credit she deserves.
Winifred Byanyima is a Ugandan aeronautical engineer, politician, and diplomat. She is the executive director of Oxfam International. She seems like a badass, but I’m not sure that is appropriate to add to her Wikipedia page.
This comic about spot loving Data so much and Realising Lore is not her person because Data is soft/loving and wouldn’t be mean to spot or try to kill his crew has me in actual tears
When I asked Ms. Dyer if she could tell me which industry served as Glitterex’s biggest market, her answer was instant: “No, I absolutely know that I can’t.”
I was taken aback. “But you know what it is?”
“Oh, God, yes,” she said, and laughed. “And you would never guess it. Let’s just leave it at that.” I asked if she could tell me why she couldn’t tell me. “Because they don’t want anyone to know that it’s glitter.”
“If I looked at it, I wouldn’t know it was glitter?”
“No, not really.”
“Would I be able to see the glitter?”
“Oh, you’d be able to see something. But it’s — yeah, I can’t.”
I asked if she would tell me off the record. She would not. I asked if she would tell me off the record after this piece was published. She would not. I told her I couldn’t die without knowing. She guided me to the automotive grade pigments.
He also did not want me to visit his glitter factory. The jovial Mr.
Shetty told me over the phone that people have no idea of the scientific
knowledge required to produce glitter, that Glitterex’s glitter-making
technology is some of the most advanced in the world, that people don’t
believe how complicated it is, that he would not allow me to see glitter
being made, that he would not allow me to hear glitter being made, that
I could not even be in the same wing of the building as the room in
which glitter was being made under any circumstance, that even
Glitterex’s clients are not permitted to see their glitter being made,
that he would not reveal the identities of Glitterex’s clients (which
include some of the largest multinational corporations in the world;
eventually, one did consent to be named: thank you, Revlon, Inc.), and
that, fine, I was welcome to come down to Glitterex headquarters to
learn more about what I could not learn about in person.
now THIS is journalism
“Most of the glitter that adorns America’s name brand products is made in one of two places: The first is in New Jersey, but the second, however, is also in New Jersey.”
that is without a doubt the funniest sentence i have ever read
