It still messes me up that Joe Russo said that one of the motivating factors for why Tony took the fight to Titan was because the vision he had of “all his friends dead” is still very real in his mind.
So Tony didn’t just take the fight away from Earth because he wanted to protect Earth. He also did it because he wanted to keep Thanos from the Avengers, because he wanted them to be safe. He is still trying to protect them even now, even after everything that happened.
stop the phrase “tattle-tale”. stop indirectly telling kids that if they speak up about someone that’s bothering them, they’re doing something bad. stop contributing to the culture of abuse.
seriously though this NEEDS to stop. my mother. a grownass woman of 59. had to ask me over and over again if I was sure it wasn’t ethically dubious for her to go to her employer and report harassment and terror tactics from a coworker because she didn’t “want to be a tattler.” stop teaching kids not to be “tattle-tales” because they will not grow out of it.
This this this.
I hope this is okay to add but in addition to the above it can create immediate and dangerous problems for children, with other children.
When I was six years old, one of my first grade classmates bullied me relentlessly for a long time. When I tried to tell the teacher that he wouldn’t stop touching me, she told me that I was being a tattle-tale and disrupting the class. So he got worse and worse. Before I knew it, he was telling me that I had to let him destroy my school supplies because his daddy told him that women have to obey the word of men. The bullying culminated in him and his friend waiting until the teacher and all the other kids left at the end of the day, cornering me at my desk, then threatening to bring his dad’s gun to school and shoot me if I didn’t stop wearing my favorite boots.
I didn’t tell the teacher because that would have been ‘tattling’. I didn’t tell my parents until they asked why I was upset that night. I wound up talking to the principal with my dad, and the principal was shocked that I had been too scared to report a shooting threat.
I know that a lot of people might think a kid would definitely report something like that, but I didn’t. A lot of kids don’t. Please, please give kids the chance to tell you if something is wrong, don’t brush them off, make sure they know that they can come to you for help. Don’t make them think they’re a burden or a ‘tattle-tale’.
And you might think, “Oh, well kids should know the difference between tattling and getting help, they should know when something is important and when it’s not. They should know better.”. They don’t. A 3 year old does not know he doesn’t need to cry when he wanted the blue jelly bean or if the thing he’s trying to do doesn’t work, those things are important to him and he is expressing himself in the only way he has ever known and it is your job to teach him how to manage his emotions, not internalize them because they “aren’t important”.
Little kids don’t know what’s important and what’s not. As they get older they learn, but if you just tell them to quit complaining and deal with shit, that’s what they’ll do until it’s bigger shit that does matter and now it’s your fault that your kid feels like he/she can’t express themselves when frustrated or scared or angry or whatever. You might think “Well, he’s 5 now, he should know.” Just, inherently? By osmosis? Did you even hold a child-rearing book against his head to increase the chances of successful osmosis? NO? Then I’m guessing you didn’t teach him that his feelings are valid but there are appropriate and effective responses, and which those are.
Also: Stop bullying your fucking kids into being bullies. “Man up” and “Deal with it” are not appropriate parenting techniques. You just told your kid that his/her problem doesn’t matter and they should just cram it deep down and stop bothering you with their emotions.
Yeah, you’re old as fuck and your kid’s problem seems stupid and asinine, but your kid isn’t old as fuck and that problem is new and they don’t know what to do about it. Don’t be a dick.
This shit seriously pisses me off, I remember when I was younger I told my parents that my brother broke my nose and I got grounded for ‘snitching’
“Must have reliable transportation” = “this is how we legally discriminate against poor people who take the bus”
As someone who has held several management positions with hiring responsibility, this is true. The boss at my last job informed me before I conducted my very first I interview,
“You can’t outright ask someone if they have a car or have kids. That’s technically illegal. But you need to know because sometimes they can be deal breakers. You can just say ‘Do you have reliable transportation?’ and ‘Do you have any current circumstances that could impede you from being successful at work?’
To which the last one most people fumble and would say, “Well I have kids, so sometimes they could get sick. But that’s not often.” But then your potential employer could mark it down on your interview notes nonetheless.
I thought that maybe it was just my own employer. But now I noticed that I am asked both of these almost every time I interview for a job.
Language is very sneaky. Be careful how you answer. Corporations can be snakes.
In my businesses class my professor told us that the bus counts as reliable transportation. You do not legally have to say “I take the bus” just say “yes I do have reliable transportation” and leave it at that. Do not over share. DO NOT OVER SHARE. The second question just say no. If your kids are sick call out as if you are sick. I don’t have kids but I myself can get sick and that doesn’t hinder my ability to succeed so kids getting sick shouldn’t hinder you. When I call out I give as little info as possible. No one needs to know why you call out. They can’t ask about your “illness” because it violates HIPAA if they do. So as long as you don’t offer more info than you need to you should be okay.
I’ve never thought about it like this.
You should keep everything to yourself as much as possible including social media (which is getting harder and harder to do) the less you offer the better.
•"hey, y’see the red thing at the top of the shelf, will you get it?“ “Sorry, what?” “On the sh-” “oh yeah sure, I’ll get it.”
•*doesn’t hear teacher because someone’s pen is making a scratchy sound at the back of the room*
•*replays video 10 ten times to figure out what they’re saying*
•teachers asking, “why do you always stop writing in the middle of a sentence, just write down whatever I’m saying,” followed by the response, “I’m just processing it,” rebuked by, “we’ll stop processing it and just write.”
•*gets really focused on staring out the window and goes through four songs without hearing a single on*
someone is whispering to their friends in the library, you don’t even know who this person is but you know their major, what state they grew up in, and their hobbies during high school. you just wanted to find a quiet spot to do your chemistry homework.
wanting to chime in on other people’s conversations all the time, but don’t, because you’re not suppose to be “listening” to them.
being the only person in the house that can hear that awful buzzing sound certain electronics make
hiding in your room because everything is too loud.
motorcycles were invented by satan
being told that you have dog-like hearing by friends and family
being yelled at for “not listening” by friends and family.
God. God. God. God.
This entire post is so fucking relatable it hurts
“You just need to learn to tune it out.”
Forgetting how to think because ambient noise is drowning out your internal monologue.
“No, I don’t need the volume up, I’d just really like to put on subtitles. No, I don’t need to move closer, I just…”
Leaving the room whenever someone starts talking on the phone.
Pausing your video whenever someone starts talking but trying really really hard not to seem passive aggressive about it.
Struggling to explain why this one sound is the most horrible thing in the world while other very similar sounds are fine.
you’re trying to listen to what some very important person is trying to say, but you can only focus on the conversations of the ppl around you
sitting in a restaurant and thinking the people sitting next to you are being SO loud because you can hear everything they’re saying, but when you mention it you get weird looks so obviously you’re just overreacting.
not being able to handle the little keyboard sounds as your mom types a text from across the room, but when you ask your mom (who is a quadruple texter) to put her phone on silent you get a murderous look, like you’ve asked her to kill her cat.
turning on ambient noises and trying to relax, only to end up turning it off because it’s not actually helping you fall asleep.
“the speakers are making this high pitched noise”
“what the hell are you talking about?”
“THE SPEAKERS ARE PRACTICALLY SCREAMING HOW DO YOU NOT HEAR THAT??”
“Just ignore it, and focus on the show.”
people telling me “how the fuck can you hear the wall clock ticking but not understand a word im saying when im talking to you??” (i swear i’m not ignoring you, i just can’t process your words)
and the absolute kicker: it took me nearly three decades of life to realise that all of the above meant I had an auditory processing disorder because, quite frankly, it isn’t discussed enough. and by enough, i mean at all.
I… experienced way too many of these not to be stunned right now.
I…am I?…I’d answer allot of questions….shit
a few things i do that help me! may or may not be practical for you, but can’t hurt to share
carry earplugs everywhere. i got a bottle of like 40 pairs on amazon for $6. i have a pair in my wallet, my bags, my pocket, etc
they come in different degrees of softness–softer ones let you dull sharp sounds while also letting you listen to lectures/carry on conversations.
heavy pairs ones can block out most sounds when you really need silence
don’t underestimate the usefulness of wearing just one. sometimes i’ll wear only one earplug when i’m sleeping and worried about missing my alarm
spendtime alone in silence when you can get it. i’ve noticed my ability to function in public goes hand in hand with being able to have regular ‘recovery’ time.
find a handful of songs you can listen to on repeat without really noticing.
asmr videos as ambient noise. find what works for you. i like crinkling.
honestly, choosing the right background noise is so useful
along that note, cheap wireless earbuds are easy to hide in your hair/under a hoodie/scarf. i’ve worn them in class.
i’m on medication for my sensory issues. certain medications commonly used to treat anxiety can also help w/ sensory processing issues! if you can, talk to your doctor.
i don’t hear people talking about this much, which surprises me. my medication is used ‘as needed’ and has saved me several times from public shutdowns/meltdowns. equally importantly, it’s improved my ability to function day-to-day
unrelated but hilarious: i just got a new thing of earplugs and they’re literally ‘sealed for freshness’
“When the new year begins next week, President Trump will have an acting chief of staff, an acting secretary of defense, an acting attorney general, an acting EPA administrator, no interior secretary, and no ambassador to the United Nations. The officials originally in all those positions have either been fired or have quit in various measures of disgust or scandal. His former campaign chairman, deputy campaign chairman, national security adviser and personal lawyer have all pleaded guilty to crimes. His campaign, his transition, his foundation and his business are all under investigation. The United States’ allies are horrified at the chaos Trump has brought to our foreign policy. The stock market is experiencing wild swings as investors are gripped with fear over what might be coming and what Trump might do to make it worse — a situation alarming enough that the treasury secretary felt the need to call up the CEOs of major banks to assure them that everything is under control. And, oh yeah, the government is shut down. This, my friends, is exactly what we were afraid of when Trump somehow managed to get elected president two years ago. This is what we warned you about.”
The worst excuse I’ve ever heard for gendering books is that, “What if it confuses my kid? What if they grow up gay or trans because I let them read about too many girl/boy things?”
Your son’s first crush might be the rowdiest boy in a story about boys doing “boy things”. Your daughter might want to be with the gentle seamstress who makes the magic cloak, not be her. Your tomboy might be a boy, and he might identify with the protagonist’s science-loving crush, not her.
Your kid is your kid, and they will be who they are meant to be. Give them all the boy/girl books you want, but you can’t control how they’ll feel about them, or what they’ll take away from the story.
As a parent, you can’t iron the world flat to keep your kid from stumbling, but you can absolutely prepare them for the bumps. If they walk an unexpected path, having read more widely will only ease their way, and get them where they need to be.
“As a parent, you can’t iron the world flat to keep your kid from stumbling, but you can absolutely prepare them for the bumps.“
