Tag: ADHD

adhd gothic

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qhronophobia:

  • you want to watch a movie. you put it on. two hours have passed. you haven’t watched the movie. there are five new tasks in front of you. you want to watch a different movie.
  • there is an object in your hand. it is extremely important you don’t lose it. you look down. there is nothing in your hand.
  • you don’t know your friend’s name. you’ve been friends for months. they just told you their name. you do not know their name.
  • your friend doesn’t laugh at your joke. why didn’t they laugh? do they hate you? they assure you otherwise. you know they are lying. did they ever like you?
  • someone asks you what you just said. did you say something? you said so many things. you said nothing. you said everything.
  • there is something you’re forgetting. you check. you check again. there is nothing you’re forgetting. there is something you’re forgetting.
  • you had something to say. you can’t remember. it was important. wasn’t it? you can’t remember. 
  • there is a task that needs to be done. it should take ten minutes. you check the clock. it’s been five minutes. you check the clock. it’s been two days.

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fuckingconversations:

pazdispenser:

CBC made a good documentary on adult ADHD and part of it really caught me off guard because i swear they repeated verbatim my life story for the past 3 years

full programme here:

http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episodes/adhd-not-just-for-kids

My ADHD manifested in excellent in-class work. Excellent understanding in discussions. Excellent participation. 

My ADHD manifested in piles of homework left undone until the last possible minute, while I stared at them, thinking; “I want to get these done. I understand the theory. It would take 10 minutes. I want to start, why can’t I start?” 

My ADHD manifested in fantastic reading comprehension – nigh impenetrable focus on interesting topics the first time I’m reading about them. 

My ADHD manifested in a complete inability to focus on reviews or re-reads, mind skittering sideways and away whenever anything was boring or repetitive. I sat down to study, my books open, my eyes on the text, and my brain clawing its way out the back of my head to focus on something else – anything else. Focus, focus! [No.]

My ADHD manifested in Articulating wings half-finished but still beautiful, in beautiful lineart and half-hearted coloring. In stories written passionately for days until I forgot it existed and never returned. In projects started and forgotten and started and forgotten a thousand times until my bins of project supplies piled up and my bank account shriveled down. No, it will be different this time – I LOVE this new thing. This new thing is my world, my destiny, my Everything. I CREATE and CREATE and CREATE and never FINISH. 

My ADHD manifested in confusion and surprise as time slithered away, hours passing like minutes and minutes seeming endless by contrast. An inability to gauge how much time had passed, was left, a task would take. An inability to hold dates in my head, because time didn’t feel consistent or even real.

 My ADHD manifested in watching someone talk and not understanding a word they said – literally hearing sounds and translating out only nonsense. In thoughts so loud I couldn’t speak coherently. In a conversation across the room shattering an idea I was trying to hold. It’s hard to think when you’re already thinking about everything around you. 

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thebibliosphere:

wetwareproblem:

autisticeducator:

autisticute:

My NT friend: doesn’t this silence bother u

Me, autistic: are u telling me u can’t hear this incredibly loud fridge

The lights have sound

Electronics have sound

Appliances have sound

If electricity runs through it, it has sound.

Rarely is there actual silence (and that does bother me due to lack of sensory input).

This is why the barn uses me when they think the horses are reacting to a noise they can’t hear. I’ll likely find it (it’s usually the heating or the electrical box in the indoor).

I also know when the electric fences are on.

For years I was convinced that I was either hallucinating or had hearing damage, because electronics always made this high-pitched whine that was closer to being felt than heard, and nobody else knew what I was talking about.

Then I met other autistic people.

I wonder if it’s an adhd thing too.

I always just assumed it was something to do with my migraines making me really sensitive to sounds other people couldn’t hear, because I can definitely hear things other people can’t seem to. Like the fridge or the tv (remember the old box tube tvs? Those things were loud on standby.) Hell I can hear my phone when it’s plugged in but for some reason not when it’s on a wireless charger. My brother is the same way, but he also gets migraines so we never thought much of it.

Huh. Neat.

There is no such thing as silence.

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worstseawitch:

whatsitnot:

vulpeculavolans:

pactmagic:

somewhat-honest-abe:

brainshart:

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

TRANSCRIPT:

JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.

AUDEINCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I just – all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast. 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere – I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.

AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS

MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much – they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS –

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.  

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now – let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all! 

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS

MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like –

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife – I have this wife – she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”

Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!

“I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts.” Is my true ADHD/Autism experience lmaoooo

(Source: http://worstseawitch.tumblr.com/)

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porcupine-girl:

adhd-informative:

abcsofadhd:

ikkefemke:

abcsofadhd:

abcsofadhd:

I keep seeing people, especially older adults, claim that if you have “ADD”, you don’t have hyperactive symptoms or that you grow out of it, which is just not true. 

“ADD” or ADHD-PI as its now called, just means you have much more inattentive symptoms than hyperactive (hence, PI: Predominantly Inattentive). 

I like imagining ADHD as a spectrum, with PH on one side, PI on the other and C in the middle. For example, I’m diagnosed as PI but I still show hyperactive symptoms from time to time; I once threw a towel, down the stairs, at my sister’s friend because I was feeling quite hyper.

Hyperactive symptoms don’t have to be physical, they can be mental too, like racing thoughts.

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD-PI recently and I don’t experience physical hyperactivity at all. But in my head it is quite busy indeed. I talked to my roommate the other day and she said she sometimes doesn’t have any thought at all. Like I didn’t know that was possible. Mean well there isn’t a moment I’m not thinking about at least five things at the same time.

The constant buzzing of thoughts is the reason we need background music/noise to concentrate.. to drown out the buzz. I can’t study in a library because its too quiet.. and my in contrast my thoughts are too loud.

Talking a lot is a hyperactive symptom, the leg bounce is hyperactivity, feeling restless is a hyperactive symptom. How often do PI types exhibit symptoms like this? Every day for hours on end.

The idea that someone isn’t hyperactive because their hyperactivity isn’t loud and in your face to strangers is a problem.

And ADHD is lifelong. During each life stage, or even day to day, different things effect us and we learn new coping mechanisms as we go along (good or bad) so the disorder can display really differently in one single ADHDer. It’s all still ADHD and it’s all a challenge.

Also, physical hyperactivity symptoms in kids often get internalized as they get older. So they might seem to “grow out of it,” but really their brain has just matured just enough that they can be okay bouncing their leg instead of climbing on the furniture, or that they can usually control the constant impulse to interrupt people but it’s still there and something they’re very aware of and have to consciously hold back.

I do not appear to be anywhere even close to hyperactive. I was inactive as a kid, I’m inactive as an adult. Yet I have four of the required six hyperactive/impulsive symptoms.

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fuckingconversations:

pazdispenser:

CBC made a good documentary on adult ADHD and part of it really caught me off guard because i swear they repeated verbatim my life story for the past 3 years

full programme here:

http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episodes/adhd-not-just-for-kids

My ADHD manifested in excellent in-class work. Excellent understanding in discussions. Excellent participation. 

My ADHD manifested in piles of homework left undone until the last possible minute, while I stared at them, thinking; “I want to get these done. I understand the theory. It would take 10 minutes. I want to start, why can’t I start?” 

My ADHD manifested in fantastic reading comprehension – nigh impenetrable focus on interesting topics the first time I’m reading about them. 

My ADHD manifested in a complete inability to focus on reviews or re-reads, mind skittering sideways and away whenever anything was boring or repetitive. I sat down to study, my books open, my eyes on the text, and my brain clawing its way out the back of my head to focus on something else – anything else. Focus, focus! [No.]

My ADHD manifested in Articulating wings half-finished but still beautiful, in beautiful lineart and half-hearted coloring. In stories written passionately for days until I forgot it existed and never returned. In projects started and forgotten and started and forgotten a thousand times until my bins of project supplies piled up and my bank account shriveled down. No, it will be different this time – I LOVE this new thing. This new thing is my world, my destiny, my Everything. I CREATE and CREATE and CREATE and never FINISH. 

My ADHD manifested in confusion and surprise as time slithered away, hours passing like minutes and minutes seeming endless by contrast. An inability to gauge how much time had passed, was left, a task would take. An inability to hold dates in my head, because time didn’t feel consistent or even real.

 My ADHD manifested in watching someone talk and not understanding a word they said – literally hearing sounds and translating out only nonsense. In thoughts so loud I couldn’t speak coherently. In a conversation across the room shattering an idea I was trying to hold. It’s hard to think when you’re already thinking about everything around you.