Tag: Advice

dealing with the worst case scenario

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robertpantss:

theszandor:

getupoffyourcassbutt:

astrologypixies:

4velitta4:

lilypotterr:

I feel like this could be useful in my future

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

If I don’t reblog this one of these things is definitely going to happen to me

I’m gonna reblog for y’all but also for me bc I’m a writer man I need this random info

I love you guys and I wanna make sure you know what to do in any situation ever, no matter how odd.

On Dentists

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spoonie-living:

lascapigliata:

huhnerkopf:

autistic-pyro:

So I can’t brush my teeth. Like, it’s the worst kind of hell. I went to the dentist for a cleaning today and I told the hygienist this, and she was wonderfully helpful.

There are some incredibly soft toothbrushes available- namely, post-surgical brushes. Running them under hot water makes them even softer.

She told me that you don’t really need to use toothpaste- it’s mostly marketing. The foam gets to me, so that is really reassuring.

She gave me two particularly soft brushes and some xylitol gum. Trident is a market brand of xylitol gum, which helps with your teeth and can make your breath smell better.

The whole purpose of brushing is to disrupt plaque buildup. You don’t need to brush twice a day, every day with toothpaste if you brush correctly- little circles, focusing on near the gums (where most plaque builds up). So if you’re having a bad sensory day and can’t brush at all, it’s not the end of the world.

Hell, you don’t even need a toothbrush if even the post-surgical ones are too harsh. Going over your teeth with the same motions using a washcloth is enough.

She wants to find a fluoride rinse that has a taste I can stand (peppermint is the only mint I can stand) but she’s not particularly worried about it.

I go to Dr. Barr in Chicago. If you can get to the State St. Macy’s, his office is nearby. He’s very kind and patient and really understanding of my needs as an autistic person. The hygienist, I don’t know her name, announced everything she was going to do before she did it, and stopped frequently to see how I was doing.

This is really the only positive dentist I’ve ever had- past dentists have been too rough and not bothered to help find ways I can actually brush.

Basically this is a glowing recommendation for Dr. Barr’s office if you’re autistic, afraid of dentists, or have sensory needs. This is a recommendation even if you don’t have any of those things.

Im actually crying i feel like this post was reblogged for me oh my god oh my god oh my lord thank you

You can also dilute your mouthwash and use it to swish around if it burns. My dentist does this so consider it dentally approved

If you were feeling guilty about your brushing habits, either due to sensory issues, pain, allergies, executive dysfunction, or just plain fatigue, here’s what you need to know about what is and isn’t necessary if your dental care!

Hey Joy how do you deal with pain from your various illnesses. Sorry if this question is too personal but I also have a bunch of things wrong with my body and I’m in pain a lot and I find it really hard to deal with it all.

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thebibliosphere:

exhaustedtree:

thebibliosphere:

Finding adequate pain management is difficult, especially with so many doctors becoming reluctant to help chronic pain patients thanks to the scare mongering over opioids at the moment, so in every literal sense, I feel your pain and I sympathize.

For me pain management is tricky as I react so negatively to medications, but if you do not have a pain specialist already, try and find one and see if there’s anything else they can do for you, or if there’s a med tweak that might help.

My biggest pin relief comes from weekly massage and physical therapy, without it I get acid build up in my muscles and it starts to feel like I have shards of glass under my skin. Not all insurances cover it (mine doesn’t) but it can be extremely beneficial for those of us with chronic pain. It can hurt a lot at first, particularly things like deep tissue massage, but if you start out gentle and work your way up it can really help with things like circulation and muscle spasms or breaking up painful adhesions that might be the cause of some pain. Plus it can just feel good to take a time out and stop carrying extra tension in your body all the time.

Acupressure, reflexology and basic therapeutic massage are all great ways at lowering inflammation and stress levels, and that can go a long way toward helping your pain.

Another thing I started doing this year was cognitive behavioral therapy for chronic pain management. The therapy itself doesn’t lessen the pain, but it does give me a better mentality for coping with it, which in turn helps with my stress levels and how well I’m able to manage it. People have noticed more and more recently that I’m enforcing stricter boundaries online with how far I’m willing to go in order to help or explain something, and this is a huge part of it. I’m also doing it in real life, and have cut out a lot of toxic and draining people who made demands on my time and energy that I simply don’t have to give. I’m always telling folk never to set themselves on fire to keep other people warm, and by golly gosh it’s high time I took my own advice cause if my mental health is shot to pieces, I can’t cope and I’ll just lay in bed and cry and cry and cry because everything hurts so much all the time. If I’m in a better place mentally, I’ve got more energy reserves to cope. It doesn’t make the pain any less, but it does help me not to fall into a pit of despair every time I have a flare up.

I also always try to take the time to do something nice for myself, whether it’s making sure I get my haircut every six weeks to keep down on maintenance, enjoying a nice bath or letting myself go to bed early to read a book, I make active time to treat myself with kindness and to do something out of enjoyment and not obligation. So much of my energy is rationed in terms of trying to have a functional life, it can feel like such a waste of energy to just do something that you’ll enjoy, and that’s just not true. Tonight was our anniversary and I wanted to feel fancy so I used a wine glass to drink my water with. Sounds ridiculous, but it made me feel special and normal for a split second out of a thousand moments of feeling like crap. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself small joys. They add up.

I appreciate you answering! I’ll try CBT out because I have noticed that when my mental health is bad it gets a lot harder to endure and they add on to eachother making the mental problems and the physical pain worse. I’ve been trying to figure stuff out with my doctor but he is a bit unsympathetic so I’m in the process of trying to get a new doctor. I might try acupressure as well thanks for the suggestion! I appreciate it a lot, I’ve been dealing with various issues for a while and reading your blog posts about getting better and healing helps give me hope.

You are so very welcome. When I first started blogging I could hardly ever find anyone who was dealing with my types of issues, and that feeling of isolation alone was unbearable. I never wanted anyone to feel like that, so I’m glad to know that me talking about these things helps. It makes living in the public eye somewhat more bearable lol.

If you wind up struggling with CBT or find it doesn’t help, another thing I’ve been using to great effect is EMDR. It was initially supposed to just be helping with my PTSD but we’ve actually found through trial and error that it’s very good with helping to deal with the stress of always being in pain, so that’s another option.

Good luck, and I wish you great progress on achieving a better quality of life💖

Hey gaud, I’m going to uni next month and do u have any tips like how to survive uni or stuff i should take with myself And my mom asks how are you (like in general)?

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

you’re going from one extreme environment to the polar opposite, and that is gonna throw you at first.

high school:

  • every minute of the day scheduled
  • immediate penalties for missing class
  • need permission to go to the bathroom WTF
  • your movements/behavior strictly enforced with punishment systems
  • you’re forced to interact with teachers and classmates
  • small assignments over short periods
  • basically bullied by the administration into obeying arbitrary rules

college:

  • you can show up late. it’s a jerkwad thing to make a habit of, but you can do it
  • YOU CAN FUCKING SKIP CLASSES WTF. most professors don’t take attendance. I missed soooooo many classes. use good judgement or your grades will suffer
  • DONT NEED PERMISSION TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. or leave class early. you can just, literally walk out? on bad mental health days I found it helpful to like, leave in the middle of class and spend 10-15 min resting. and then walking back in. (but be careful not to disrupt the class. I mostly did it when there was a back exit.
  • No Body Cares About Almost Anything. Dress code what’s that? u wanna wear a bikini to class, you can. a unicorn onesie? go ahead. randomly burst into parkour while walking to class? it’s whatever. you can literally (in the short term) get away with so much shit, and so many bad choices. no more demerits or detention or suspension
  • very little accountability/punishment, but the few rules they do enforce come at a huge cost if u get caught (these things are also arbitrary)
  • big part of your grade can be large end-of-term essays/assignments. you get to put it off andoff and no one holds you accountable…. until the grades come in. (I’ve failed more than one class this way)
  • you have to consistently self monitor or you’ll end up putting work off until way to late
  • No one’s stopping you from making bad choices. or even telling you not to. usually the opposite really. pay attention to your choices.

high school forces you (unsustainably) into study routines but without teaching you how to do it without external pressure. That framework collapses super quickly. you’re going from one ridiculous extreme to another, you’re gonna end up overindulging & being irresponsible bc

  • you couldn’t until now
  • your brain is trained to weigh consequences/rewards in the short term
  • you’re exhausted from high school
  • it feels like everyone else is doing it

my GPA bombed in college, I was not prepared. my advice comes from only my experiences, but check the notes, I’m sure my followers have loads to offer. off the top of my head:

  • look for stablizing influences
  • no seriously choose your friends wisely, their bad habits will become yours. college students tend to function in herds.
  • join study groups. for most classes. do it.
  • FREE TUTORING THERE’S FREE TUTORING TAKE ADVANTAGE
  • make friends with the TAs, go to them for homework help. you can like, ask them about a specific question and they’ll walk you through it.
  • as s freshman, maybe don’t sign up for classes with large term projects.
  • always check ratemyprofessor.com before enrolling in a class. it won’t always tell you much but it can give you huge red flags.
  • you can change your class schedule super easily for maybe 2 weeks. use that.
  • you can actually basically avoid talking to the professor the entire semester. DONT do this. be careful about self isolating
  • ASK FOR HELP ASK FOR HELP ASK FOR HELP. professors can actually be really accommodating if you explain you’re struggling with adjusting, mental health, deadlines.
  • MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES. USE THE STUDENT HEALTH SERVICES.
  • just make a (free!) appt w/ any therapist. it’s amazing and you don’t need parent permission. do it at the start of of the semester, before you start struggling. this is s fantastic prevention tool
  • last thing: if you’re a white dude be careful not to talk too much in class it’s a Thing)
  • related note: don’t take philosophy

tell your mom I’m having a good day and I said hi!

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biscuitfoot:

jynxlovesluck:

the-incedible-sulk:

marzipanandminutiae:

thelogicalloganipus:

pixelshearts:

ossifiedocelot:

witchfell:

witchfell:

witchfell:

witchfell:

“skip dinner and become thinner” more like “skip dinner and you have an eating disorder please get help”

“a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips” more like “a moment on the lips is okay to have, please take care of yourself in this lifetime”

“every time you eat you delay becoming skinnier” more like “every time you eat you give your body the nutrients it needs in order to survive, please keep surviving”

“you’ll be able to wear whatever you want when you get to your ugw” more like “you’ll be able to wear whatever you want now because fashion =/= weight”

“Don’t reward yourself with food your not a dog” more like treat yourself because you’re amazing and deserve happiness

This is actually really helpful thanks

I love this post for how it politely demolishes destructive pro ana/mia mantras i love it

“if you can pinch an inch” congrats you have skin and flesh like all humans

I… I… thanks… for sharing this cause I needed a lot.. hopefully anyone who follows me and needs can benefit from it too…

I really wish this was a thing I saw a few years ago, but I’m glad it’s circulation is moving strong. Just like you my wonderful followers <3<3<3 be brave darlings, I believe in you

Take care of yourself, guys. Eating is good for you, your body needs it or it will shut down. If you feel like you need to get healthier or lose weight, there’s tons of ways you can do that, that doesn’t put your body in danger. NEVER STARVE YOURSELF

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gaylittlepieceofsh1t:

ghostspaceships:

bando–grand-scamyon:

drankinwatahmelin:

feministism:

4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)

That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving

8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.

Yes this last one really saves lives y’all I do it all the time

How to Get Going When You Just Want to Stay In Bed and Be Nothing

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lovelysuggestions:

Some days hit you like a ton of bricks, and for those who already struggle, those days can be even harder. Hopefully, these little tips can give you a boost in your darkest moments.

1. Open a window, let some light and fresh air in. You might not want it now, but it will help you feel better in the long run.

2. Take a shower. Sometimes, this can be more difficult than we expect, but that’s okay. Just letting the water hit your back, or washing your face can make you feel more refreshed.

3. Work on a hobby that gets you going. Unfortunately, as good as it feels in the moment, lying in bed and watching netflix while the work you have piles up will only make you feel worse. Now, maybe you can’t tackle your assignments right now, but sitting up and drawing your favourite character or watering your plants while blasting some music will get you in a better mindset.

4. Change your music. Sometimes we need to listen to a sad ass song and just get all our emotions out, but once that’s done and dusted, don’t dwell. Listen to some up-beat music (if I may, I recommend our Pick Me Up Playlist by You) and try to keep your environment from matching your mood.

5. Get a healthy snack and drink some water. Never underestimate the power of good nutrition. If you can’t handle the thought of a full meal, some fruit will suffice for now. But remember what you eat fuels your body, so if you can bring yourself to fitting in a remotely well-balanced meal, you’ll be all the better off.

6. Make a list, pick one, simple task, and get it done. Maybe you have laundry to do and it’s piling up. Maybe you have to wash down the kitchen counter. Maybe you have a worksheet for school. Maybe it’s just making the list. Whatever you need to get done, write it down, and rather than letting that overwhelm you, pick one thing from that list to tick off. Slowly but surely, you will be able to tackle the bigger things.

7. Go for a walk. Getting some fresh air and simple exercise will refresh you without tiring you out. Bring some water, or maybe make it a trip to get some of your favourite snacks and a smoothie from Jamba Juice. If you’re struggling to get up and out, having something nice to look forward too can motivate you. 

8. Think of why you’re feeling this way, and then let it go. More often than not, there is a reason you’re struggling to get up and out. Understanding the root of this feeling can help you move past it, tackle it, or keep it from holding you back.

I know this is pretty standard advice, but I think we all need that little reminder every now and again.

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vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

Anyway! There are a lot of reasons to still live at home as an adult, and it doesn’t mean you’ve “failed to launch” or that you’re not capable of being your own person or of having an adult life and adult relationships.

Whether you’re disabled, or you’re taking care of your elderly parents, or you struggle with chronic illness, or finances, or they do, or you just love your family and want to be close to them, these and many other reasons are valid and it’s no one’s business to comment on it like it’s a negative trait to still live with your family.

It can be very good actually, and/or necessary, and ultimately it’s personal and between you and ur family, not anyone else, and anyone unwilling to try to understand doesn’t have a space in your life and journey!

This is for people of any age, not just ppl in their early 20s!!!

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positivedoodles:

[Drawing of a green plant in a blue pot saying “You spend so much time taking care of people, of pets, of plants, of everything. It’s good that you’re such a caring and helpful person, but remember to take care of yourself too. And remember that you’re allowed to need help too.” in a light blue speech bubble.

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kosmonauttihai:

rollerskatinglizard:

ceekari:

stayhungry-stayfree:

This is a really helpful page in my CBT textbook for tackling some of the maladaptive beliefs we often hold. The first column lists the rules and assumptions we often may tell ourselves, while the second column is a more functional belief. Just thought I would pass this along. Be kind to yourselves, friends❤

Oh my god, number 5. And 6, and 7.

I frigging needed that.

Failure is not a permanent condition.

The text on the image:

  1. Maladaptive belief: 

    If I don’t do as well as others, I’m a failure.
    More functional belief:

    If I don’t do as well as others, I’m not a failure, just human.

  2. Maladaptive belief:  If I ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness.
    More functional belief: If I ask for help when I need it, I’m showing good problem-solving abilities (which is a sign of strength).
  3. Maladaptive belief:  If I fail at work/school, I’m a failure as a person.
    More functional belief:

    If I fail at work/school, it’s not a reflection of my whole self. (My whole self includes how I am as a friend, daughter, sister, relative, citizen, and community member, and my qualities of kindness, sensitivity to others, helpfulness, etc.) Also, failure is not a permanent condition.

  4. Maladaptive belief:  I should be able to excel at everything I try.
    More functional belief: I shouldn’t be able to excel at something unless I am gifted in that area (and am willing and able to devote considerable time and effort toward it at the expense of other things.
  5. Maladaptive belief:  I should always work hard and do my best.
    More functional belief: I should put in a reasonable amount of effort much of the time.
  6. Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t live up to my potential, I have failed.
    More functional belief: If I do less than my best, I have succeeded perhaps 70%, 80%, or 90%; not 0%.
  7. Maladaptive belief:  If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll fail.
    More functional belief:

    If I don’t work hard all the time, I’ll probably do reasonably well and have a more balanced life.