It’s not that you have issues…… it’s that you have a tendency to continue using instincts you picked up in childhood that are no longer useful to you on your journey towards achieving openness and intimacy and reliability in your personal relationships w others. It’s not that you’re defective or difficult or incapable it’s just that what you learned to do to save yourself from the experience of abandonment or rejection or ridicule or failure is not helpful here anymore and you need to start thinking creatively and collaborating on better ways to cope with that instrinsic fear that you are not correct, that you are faking, that you will be found out and left, whatever it is
please consider NOT pouring your dog or cat’s kibble directly into a plastic container for storage. the oils and fats in the food oxidize quicker than you’d imagine, get into the plastic, and become rancid. this badness then creeps into new food you pour in! i won’t get into all the scientific terms right this sec, but it can cause cancer and other major issues
ideally, kibble will be kept sealed IN the bag you buy it in (chip clips are your friends). the bags are designed to keep all the good juices inside. you CAN put the bag in a metal or glass container if you wish. HOWEVER, any bag of dry food WILL oxidize and start to go bad in 2-3 weeks once opened! that’s right, stop buying jumbo bags for small dogsonly one dog. buy lots of smaller bags if you want but please don’t open them until you need that food. to all the people wondering why their dogs get tired of their food by the end of a bag or start to get sick, this is why. the entire chemical makeup of the food has changed.
i’ll save all the things i Could say about what should and shouldn’t be in your pets kibble for another post, maybe, or for anyone who has questions just hmu. i’m here to help the floofs be healthy
hi so im recovering from a really mean depression and there are some things i learned and that i would like to tell you.
1. you need to reappropriate your space and time. depression is lying to you and generally shrinks your living space (aka: you spend your time in bed/behind your computer/in your room…). visit and do something (even if its just scrolling down social media) in each room you have access to. expand your perception and space, you’ll breathe more easily.
2. plan depression outfits. a depression outfit is a comfy one you still can go out in. to me, it’s old ripped jeans and a turtleneck, my old work uniforms, sweaters. dressing up is one of the most important parts of managing depression. first of all, you’ll feel less like pathetic with proper clothes on (nothing worse than staying in your pj all day). secondly, and it’s a crucial point: it allows you to get out to run some errands. imagine you have to go grocery shopping or to the post office. if you’re in your unwashed pajamas you’ve been wearing for three days or more (been there done that) what you have to do is to undress, shower (if you can), and put on real, clean clothes. which is three things. depression messes wih one’s ability to start things, so it’s very likely you’ll drop your errands and just stay at home feeling like shit. but if you’re already wearing clothes, you just have to put on a coat and get out of the house. which is, trust me, 10 times easier than doing the whole dressing up thing.
3. it’s okay if you stay the whole day in bed but force yourself to get up in the morning (anytime before noon) and drink a glass of water/juice. again, depression messes up with your ability to start doing things, but if you concentrate your will to just get up and drink something before going back to bed, i promise you’ll feel less shitty and might actually end up getting up for good since you’ve been through the trouble of getting up. You’ll feel better (and also you need water!)
4. do one (1) physical, material thing that will improve your life conditions per day. aka: washing a single glass, scrubbing the mirror, etc. you’ll feel proud of yourself, and the tidiest your environment, the less shitty your brain will be. plus, again: if you manage to wash a single dish, maybe you’ll find yourself cleaning the whole kitchen without noticing. and thats a good thing. no pressure: just do one single thing. and don’t beat yourself up if you can’t, of course, but try, it’s gonna be better that way.
5. open the window (especially at night, i personally find it very soothing) and just… breathe fresh air, looking at the horizon or closing your eyes, and breathe in and out slowly. it’s great to take fresh air. bonus if you have anxiety/ptsd, honestly. opening the windows is one of the easiest ways i know to stop a panic attack.
6. brush your teeth everyday,even if it’s the only thing you manage to do. i know every depression guide recommends it, but it’s really important. not showering for a few days is okay, you’re not gonna get sick that way. but dental hygiene is capital. not to mention you’ll feel less rotting in the inside if you’re less rotting in the outside. you can use your phone to schedule your teeth brushing of the day! really helps.
7. think about your hobbies and force yourself to do something related to an old hobby of yours. i know it’s no fun. i know you can’t feel anything, so why bother? but really, do bother. do it and eventually as you recover it will be fun again. you haven’t lost your passion, your goals, your motivation. it’s still there, but depression is like a blanket that covers it all. forcing yourself to still act on your hobbies (especially if those are not screen-related: books, gardening, etc.) will help digging through the depression layers to expose your will to live again. trust me on this one. i really thought i was just an apathetic mess, but actually depression was just mean. i believe in you!
and finally: hold tight and it’s gonna be okay! recovery is possible, and it’s gonna arrive sooner than you expect. energy and motivation are good things and they’re still around here waiting for you!
feel free to add your own! you’re all gonna make it i promise.
-Ask yourself the last time you drank some water. Drink a few sips even if it wasn’t long ago. Coffee doesn’t count (neither does soda unless it’s the only option)
-When was the last time you ate? Get a small snack if able.
-Are ANY of your clothes too tight or uncomfortable? This includes socks, headbands, hats, and shoes.
-Stretch! Pop those shoulders, arch that back, straighten those legs. It Helps.
-If you happen to stim, do it! Do whatever feels right!
-Look for sounds, smells, etc. That are bothering you.
-Get your headphones and put on whatever music makes you feel happy/good/energetic.
-Loosen your shoulders, take some deep breaths. Drop your head and loosely roll your head. Try to relax as many muscles as you can.
-Close your eyes for a second.
-Did you take your meds (if you have them)? Do you need to take a Tylenol, ibuprofen Etc.?
-Are there allergens in the vicinity, are there any allergy medications you need to take?
-Breath deep.
I am by no means a professional and I don’t know what could be causing it but I know that these are kind of helpful. I’m not you and you aren’t me so these might not work. If the feeling bad is medical attention worthy, these might not help.
Always be vague. Say I think they’re in today or not until later. If they press say it’s company policy not to give out the schedule. Most companies do have this and even if they don’t how would a stranger know. Don’t give out specifics, they can get people injured or even killed.
At my last job someone came up and asked when “Sarah” was working next. I didn’t tell him and then texted her a description, turns out he was an abusive ex who had been stalking her. Don’t do this shit please.
Do NOT say anything along the lines of “they’re not in today” or “not until later” because you are confirming that this is somewhere the person in question can be found. NEVER confirm anything!
My old boss told us a story of how, years before when she was a fairly new manager (I’m talking decades, she’s 64 right now), there was a man who came in and asked for an employee by name and said he was her uncle. She told him the employee’s shift started in a coule hours. He waited the entire time for her, and when she came in, he assaulted her and bashed her face into the counter. My boss saw everything. She can’t recall what he said, but he kept screaming until someone threatened to call the police.
She told me that story after a man came in and asked for when an employee, who recently quit, would be coming in. I told him she doesn’t work here anymore and he said to me “Okay, well I’m her dad so if you see her tell her I’ll be across the street at the gas station.” He left and my boss IMMEDIATELY came out and scolded me for it, then told me that story.
She gave me some advice on what to say or do in that situation:
Don’t just deny knowing anything, deny the person asking. Example, “When is ____ coming in?” “You can’t know that information.” or “Can you tell me when ____’s shift is?” “Schedules are only for employees.” Additionally, saying “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” can usually work, it may piss them off but it can work.
Continue on with the customer service. “I can’t help you with that, do you need help (with clothes, finding a product, ordering)?” or “Can I take your order?/Can I help you find (a product)?”
If they persist, insist they leave the store. “If you’re not going to order, please leave the building.” or “I can’t help you, have a nice day.” and, if you can, leave. If you can’t leave, call for or help the next customer.
If they still persist (by now they may be aggressive), threaten to call the police on the basis of them becoming aggressive and refusing to leave the premises. Some people will leave at that point, others stay. When the police get there, explain the situation but still do NOT confirm the existence of the employee they’re looking for to the police until they have been escorted out of the area.
Regardless of if the customer know the employee’s name, description, or daily (not hourly) schedule, even if they look like the same race and claim to be family, you NEVER confirm the employee’s existence.
The only exceptions are if the employee tells you themself they’re expecting someone to come in for them (ASK FOR A DESCRIPTION OF THE PERSON), and if you personally know who they are in relation to the employee. When anyone I know has to come in because I asked them to come in, I describe what they look like and what they usually wear. I go into deep descriptions, even including how they walk.
You could literally save a life, guys. Don’t blindly trust your gut either and think “But they LOOK innocent” or “But they said ______” because that can result in someone getting severely hurt, or killed.
I know I joked on this post before but seriously
If youre in the US it is against federal law to give out anyones personal information (this includes numbers, names, and schedules) without writen and signed permission.
Just say its against federal law and you cant give out that info without risk of termination – this will get 99% off your back the first time
“I have no idea who you’re talking about”
I have to constantly explain this to new starts, even people in their 30s, 40s and 50s.
In this day and age if you actually know a person and you’re not a dinosaur you’ll have multiple means of contacting them besides randomly showing up at their work.
not finishing 100% of your personal projects or commitments is totally normal! please don’t let it discourage you from pursuing new ones! there are a dozen projects over the years I’ve committed to and almost immediately abandoned. i get embarrassed sometimes when I remember specific ones, but eventually you got to say fork it and move on
literally no creator, however successful or prolific or famous, has completed all or even a majority of the works they conceived. they all have notebooks of dozens, hundreds of ideas and concepts 90% of which will never see the light of day. and that’s okay!
the projects we don’t finish give us practice. and more practice leads to more and higher quality finished products. The act of creating is never a waste of time.
just want to share some thoughts about finding peace.
as someone with a lot of trauma in my childhood i have spent so long and so much grief wishing i could go back and time and save that little kid, because that kid so desperately needed saving, but i’ve always thought it’s too late, bc it all already happened, and no one saved her, so she’ll never be saved and she’ll never be okay,
and i’ve spent the second half of my life mourning the first half.
but my therapist recently made me realize, that little kid is still inside me. i was her, and in a lot of ways i still am her, because i still carry her pain. it’s not too late. she needed an adult to listen to her, and i am that adult. i’m listening. i can tell her that none of it was her fault, and she can believe me, and i can believe me.
she’ll be okay, because i’ll make sure of it, and then I’ll be okay. you can be okay. if you find yourself carrying a lot of hurt, and blaming yourself, or anyone, think of the child who went through that. because no matter what you think of yourself, you know a child didn’t deserve that. and it’s time an adult told them so.
Since I posted those journals I drew in second grade, and so many people are messaging me telling me they relate, I thought I’d share this again. Realizing I can be the adult I needed as a child really changed my life. It was the moment of revelation I thought only happened in therapy on TV and in books and movies.
Every time I feel grief over the things my childhood trauma and mental illness stole from me, I don’t have to push it away anymore and try to move on without addressing it. I can think of that little me, and I can say “it’s okay. I’m an adult, and I’m listening. This isn’t your fault. You’re doing a good job. You are loved. I love you.”
And I know it sounds like a cliche, but that part of me, that kid that was so afraid, feels that love. And then I can move on.
So no one came to save us when we needed it most. We really can save ourselves. I believe in you.
You are probably depressed, yeah… but have you considered the possibility that you’re transforming into a cat?
You cannot dismiss this theory without first testing it. Get up and run through your house as loudly as you can, stopping only to make brief, terrified eye contact with anyone you pass. Knock something over. Chew on a shoelace. Stretch real good with your butt in the air and find a patch of sunlight to lick your own leg in.
If it feels ‘right’, I think you have your answer.
