stop the phrase “tattle-tale”. stop indirectly telling kids that if they speak up about someone that’s bothering them, they’re doing something bad. stop contributing to the culture of abuse.
seriously though this NEEDS to stop. my mother. a grownass woman of 59. had to ask me over and over again if I was sure it wasn’t ethically dubious for her to go to her employer and report harassment and terror tactics from a coworker because she didn’t “want to be a tattler.” stop teaching kids not to be “tattle-tales” because they will not grow out of it.
This this this.
I hope this is okay to add but in addition to the above it can create immediate and dangerous problems for children, with other children.
When I was six years old, one of my first grade classmates bullied me relentlessly for a long time. When I tried to tell the teacher that he wouldn’t stop touching me, she told me that I was being a tattle-tale and disrupting the class. So he got worse and worse. Before I knew it, he was telling me that I had to let him destroy my school supplies because his daddy told him that women have to obey the word of men. The bullying culminated in him and his friend waiting until the teacher and all the other kids left at the end of the day, cornering me at my desk, then threatening to bring his dad’s gun to school and shoot me if I didn’t stop wearing my favorite boots.
I didn’t tell the teacher because that would have been ‘tattling’. I didn’t tell my parents until they asked why I was upset that night. I wound up talking to the principal with my dad, and the principal was shocked that I had been too scared to report a shooting threat.
I know that a lot of people might think a kid would definitely report something like that, but I didn’t. A lot of kids don’t. Please, please give kids the chance to tell you if something is wrong, don’t brush them off, make sure they know that they can come to you for help. Don’t make them think they’re a burden or a ‘tattle-tale’.
And you might think, “Oh, well kids should know the difference between tattling and getting help, they should know when something is important and when it’s not. They should know better.”. They don’t. A 3 year old does not know he doesn’t need to cry when he wanted the blue jelly bean or if the thing he’s trying to do doesn’t work, those things are important to him and he is expressing himself in the only way he has ever known and it is your job to teach him how to manage his emotions, not internalize them because they “aren’t important”.
Little kids don’t know what’s important and what’s not. As they get older they learn, but if you just tell them to quit complaining and deal with shit, that’s what they’ll do until it’s bigger shit that does matter and now it’s your fault that your kid feels like he/she can’t express themselves when frustrated or scared or angry or whatever. You might think “Well, he’s 5 now, he should know.” Just, inherently? By osmosis? Did you even hold a child-rearing book against his head to increase the chances of successful osmosis? NO? Then I’m guessing you didn’t teach him that his feelings are valid but there are appropriate and effective responses, and which those are.
Also: Stop bullying your fucking kids into being bullies. “Man up” and “Deal with it” are not appropriate parenting techniques. You just told your kid that his/her problem doesn’t matter and they should just cram it deep down and stop bothering you with their emotions.
Yeah, you’re old as fuck and your kid’s problem seems stupid and asinine, but your kid isn’t old as fuck and that problem is new and they don’t know what to do about it. Don’t be a dick.
This shit seriously pisses me off, I remember when I was younger I told my parents that my brother broke my nose and I got grounded for ‘snitching’
“Must have reliable transportation” = “this is how we legally discriminate against poor people who take the bus”
As someone who has held several management positions with hiring responsibility, this is true. The boss at my last job informed me before I conducted my very first I interview,
“You can’t outright ask someone if they have a car or have kids. That’s technically illegal. But you need to know because sometimes they can be deal breakers. You can just say ‘Do you have reliable transportation?’ and ‘Do you have any current circumstances that could impede you from being successful at work?’
To which the last one most people fumble and would say, “Well I have kids, so sometimes they could get sick. But that’s not often.” But then your potential employer could mark it down on your interview notes nonetheless.
I thought that maybe it was just my own employer. But now I noticed that I am asked both of these almost every time I interview for a job.
Language is very sneaky. Be careful how you answer. Corporations can be snakes.
In my businesses class my professor told us that the bus counts as reliable transportation. You do not legally have to say “I take the bus” just say “yes I do have reliable transportation” and leave it at that. Do not over share. DO NOT OVER SHARE. The second question just say no. If your kids are sick call out as if you are sick. I don’t have kids but I myself can get sick and that doesn’t hinder my ability to succeed so kids getting sick shouldn’t hinder you. When I call out I give as little info as possible. No one needs to know why you call out. They can’t ask about your “illness” because it violates HIPAA if they do. So as long as you don’t offer more info than you need to you should be okay.
I’ve never thought about it like this.
You should keep everything to yourself as much as possible including social media (which is getting harder and harder to do) the less you offer the better.
This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.
No you guys this post helped me find my cat. He was missing for almost a month and I’ve had him for over 12 years. After seeing this I put his favorite blanket he always slept on outside hoping he would smell mine or his scent and he was back the next fucking day asleep on it.
When my cat got out, we called and called for him, and then, later that night, I remembered similar advice to this, and so put his little scratching pad, which he adores, on the front porch. Not even half an hour later, I heard a thump, opened the door, and there was his big butt, meowing at me.
Important and vital
I don’t care that I reblogged this today I’m reblogging it again
awwwww babies ;_; i hope everyone’s pets come home safe.
grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread
different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.
some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit
SHELTER
Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment
sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it
Some churches offer short term residence
Find your nearest homeless shelter
Look for places that are open to the public
A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry
HYGIENE
A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.
Public libraries have bathrooms you can use
Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.
Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver
Local beaches, go for a quick swim
Some truck stops have showers you can pay for
Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet
Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket
OTHER
first aid kit
sunscreen
a travel alarm clock or watch
mylar emergency blanket
a backpack is a must
downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards
sleeping bag
travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror
swiss army knife
can opener
Reblog to literally save a life
if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles
Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.
Save a life reblog
i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess
also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.
Growing up my parents taught me that if you’re too sick to [insert responsibility here] then you’re too sick to [insert something that makes you happy here].
It took me a really long time to unlearn this. When I would get sick or have a “bad day” I would deprive myself of anything that made me happy. Watching movies, eating something I enjoyed, going for a walk, playing video games or just browsing online looking at funny cat videos. I wouldn’t let myself do these things because I was always told that if I’m too sick to go to work, or do homework, or go to school then I must be too sick to play Mortal Kombat or watch Unsolved Mysteries lol.
Whenever I wouldn’t feel good, which I later learned as an adult was due to sleep deprivation caused by my ADHD and depression (and of course the depression itself would cause me to feel like shit), my parents would tell me “if you’re not throwing up, then you’re not sick.” And when I would stay home from school (or even work in my later teen years) my parents would make sure that I didn’t have any “fun.” No TV, no movies, no games, no going outside, no arts and crafts, no books, no nothing. Just lay in bed and feel miserable.
I’m happy to say that I no longer do this to myself. Now when I’m having a bad day or I’m sick (cold, flu or whatever) I allow myself to do the things (within reason lol) that I actually love doing. If I’m not too sick to step outside for a few minutes then I’ll go for a walk. I’ll watch my favorite movies and if it’s a bad day or a cold (something that doesn’t hinder my appetite too much) I’ll eat my favorite foods. I don’t guilt trip myself anymore for having a “sick day.”
Just because you’re sick (whether physically, emotionally or mentally) doesn’t mean that you can’t do things you enjoy. You’re not any less sick because you watch TV. You’re not any less sick because you’re playing video games.
Actually you SHOULD be doing these things when you’re not feeling good because they make you feel better. The better you feel, the faster your heal.
Do the things that make you happy to help you heal faster.
I find that if I’m wearing Real Adult Business Clothes my worksona can do things like call people and check my inbox, whereas pajamas hellen mostly wants to shovel hamburgers into her face and set things on fire.
instead try; I love you *generic keysmash* h OW DA RE *lavish praise* *inside fandom joke* *quote fave part* *more generic keysmashing*
you. i like you
Also, the favorites: 1) DID I SAY YOU COULD HURT ME LIKE THIS?!?;?!; 2) DONT HURT MY BABY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS 3) why must you hurt me this way 4) WHY IS THIS A CLIFFHANGER?! WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I NEED TO KNOW 5) This made me cry/squeal/giggle/wake the dead with my laughter 6) I almost woke my family laughing at ___ part 7) I DIDNT KNOW I NEEDED THIS AU UNTIL YOU POSTED THIS 8) this is so cute I’m dying 9) and (writer’s name) strikes again! 10) I had to reread this bc it’s so good and I love it 11) I wish I could like/heart/kudos this more than once Like, seriously guys, freak out with us and you’ll have us wrapped around your little fingers.
This is so true! A lot of the time, I get stuck in a writer’s hole. But whenever I get a comment like the above ones, it makes me want to write more!
PLEASE COMMEEEENT
AND REBLOG
All good suggestions! Another to add to the list: don’t insult as a joke.
Even if you’re only ironically saying something like “i hate you” when you in fact loved the fic… we still just read it as “i hate you”. Getting a notif of a comment always gives writers a little thrill, and then seeing something like that in the actual comment… doesn’t feel very good. Remember, the digital medium is not good for getting sarcasm across!
Apart from that, any sincere comment, no matter how brief or jumbled or nonsensical, is always going to make a writer’s day.
Thx for comments suggestions I always get stuck when I want to comment but idk what to write and i just give kudos
Honest to God, I love when people quote my fic to me or leave detailed reviews or scream wildly, but “I really enjoyed this” = A+ comment, will make my day and leave me doing a face somewhere between these three emoticons: ☺️😁😍
Of course writers enjoy detailed, thoughtful, enthusiastic feedback, but what we mostly love is knowing someone read something we wrote and was moved to leave a short comment (that wasn’t “please update” – please update is fine as part of a comment, but on its own it’s kind of dispiriting). I seriously cannot overstate how much even a short little “OMG LOVE” or “I enjoyed this!” or “This made me laugh/smile/cry!” or “This was really good/funny/hot/sad!” means. You don’t have to write Pulitzer prize winning prose to make a writer’s day. Trust me on this!
(And even a like or a kudos is so much better than nothing.)
Writing can be lonely, and fanwriters don’t have Amazon for reviews or get paid. Reviews mean the world to us.
Yes, I am going to continually reblog this. No, I’m not sorry.
Reblogging for my followers who might have trouble remembering whether or not they’ve taken their medicine!
OH MY GOD, THIS WILL HELP ME SO MUCH. I GET SO SCARED WHEN I DON’T KNOW IF I JUST TOOK MY MEDS TWICE.
THANK YOU, I’M ABOUT TO CRY.
Let me share with you guys a product that super helps me remember if I took my meds or not (because while the above is great, I still would manage to confuse myself):
They count as soon as you put the top back on. So if I don’t know if I’ve taken my medication for the day, I can check the cap to see how long ago I opened the container! It’s brilliant!
JFC THIS IS A GAME CHANGER.
I KNOW THIS IS MY ART BLOG BUT EVERYONE WHO TAKES MEDS SHOULD SEE THIS.
Don’t forget! ♥️
For all my friends who take meds on the regular or anyone in general. A great post.
