Tag: Cryptids

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systlin:

adsumcirrat:

thebibliosphere:

misty-anne:

systlin:

galwayghost:

vaspider:

yellowgnomeboots:

vaspider:

gallusrostromegalus:

thebibliosphere:

The sheer number of people mistaking me for @systlin in my inbox at the moment is astounding so let me make it easier for some of you.

@systlin : plant witch who raises bees and has a whole host of other terrifyingly awesome skills

me: the witch who is allergic to all nature and cannot go outside because even though I don’t believe in gods, the bastards still have a sick sense of humor.

Further Differences:

@systlin

  • Lives in Iowa, right next to America’s Angriest River
  • Is like. seven feet tall and totally jacked
  • Has four (maybe more?) cats
  • Loving and devout relationship with the Norse Pantheon
  • Once accepted a republican congressman’s challenge to a duel but he turned out to be a yellow-bellied weenie
  • Horny On Main for the cast of American Gods

@thebibliosphere

  • Lives in Minnesota, on a much chiller branch of the Same River
  • Is an actual hobbit. I could carry her around in a backpack like Yoda.
  • Has adorable goldendoodle visit sometimes
  • Has an Antagonistic relationship with the Supernatural Entity that is Her House
  • Would personally fight the British Monarchy
  • Horny On Main for Discworld Relationships.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I keep mistaking vaspider for systlin

Ok but:

  • I live by a river that non-locals always mispronounce, the Schuylkill
  • Am fully average in height, not at all jacked
  • Have 3 dogs, which are like cats but also not
  • Extremely Jewish, but will cut a bitch over white supremacists in Asatru bc that’s my ancestry
  • I am not the person in my family who has been challenged to an actual duel – that would be @dadhoc
  • Horny On Main for Battlestar Galactica

See? Very different.

Did they accept the duel challenge? :O 

Me; Not Jewish

@vaspider; Very Jewish, also runs a very excellent store selling dope-ass Queer Stuff

@gallusrostromegalus I’M ONLY 5′ 8″ YOU ARE THINKING OF MY 6′ 5″ BROTHER

Which one(s) of you all have the terrifying rose? @systlin, right?

Both of us actually, but mines is called Demon Rose cause unlike Systlin who manages to somewhat contain hers, mine has taken over that side of the house.

Everything about this thread is golden

It knows full well I have a machete and armor  and will use them if it crosses me

Excerpt from the non-existent book, How to Identify Your Internet Cryptid.

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elodieunderglass:

watchfor:

jadenvargen:

littlemisskissmyass:

thebestworstidea:

joey-wheeler-official:

magathapai:

gallusrostromegalus:

songofkeys:

vr-trakowski:

joey-wheeler-official:

joey-wheeler-official:

joey-wheeler-official:

there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy.

like this one dude just made a fake taxidermy and spread it around as a hoax for a good ass while and it lead to this really cool fantasy creature and i am genuinely dissapointed that it never gets used in anything

image

THE BOY

Rabbirds, by the amazing @tkingfisher/Ursula Vernon (source).  

The lack of skvaders is particularly frustrating when you realize it forms the third point of a wonderful cryptid trifecta.

You got the jackalopes, which are rabbits with antlers.

And you got the wolpertingers, which are rabbits with antlers and wings.

And then… what? Do you escalate? That’s unbalanced, those two rabbit cryptids don’t have the same number of extra things, the wolpertinger is clearly the jackalope But More.

BUT with the skvader on the other side, balance is restored. Antler rabbit, winged rabbit, winged antler rabbit. It’s a classic Venn diagram of imaginary lapine beasts, and it’s only complete if you acknowledge the fucking skvader.

Good thing Ursula’s got our back, at least.

This is a really excellent point and I applaud your advancements in Cryptid Theory.

Gentleman, if I might add:

yes you may add this

I think balance in crypdids is VERY IMPORTANT.

I like this post because as a pre-internet child I really believed jackalopes were a real thing from going out west to visit family (I was naïve and maybe gullible). Learning about this many more cryptids really warms my soul.

i like never add to posts but these r from my town and i wanted to show our pride and joy: on top of the towns mountain is a HUGE skvadern slide for all the kids to enjoy…. there’s a tube if u enter its head… cryptozoology for the whole family! 

@elodieunderglass I wasn’t going to tag you until I saw the venn diagram

I love wolpertingers – I saw one in a ripley’s believe it or not museum as a child and was profoundly affected by it.

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gallusrostromegalus:

gremlinerd:

gallusrostromegalus:

vampireapologist:

I think a lot about an episode of Finding Bigfoot where they played whale noises because they said a curious Bigfoot might come check it out and they were just out in god knows where The Woods Blvd. And they were like “these whale noises can be heard for a couple’a miles”

And I was just losing my mind thinking about the many times I’ve camped alone in the woods and how if I were just sitting around the campfire and through the usual din of coyotes and crickets I heard the slow and steady and distinct rise of whale calls

I’d go absolutely apeshit NOTHING would be scarier

New Cryptid: Forest Whales.  

Not enough fish in the sea anymore, whales and dolphins re-evolved legs and got back on land and now frolick through the woods of the PNW terrorzing campers and occasionally giving rides to Bigfoots.

I RARELY add stuff to posts like this, but I saw the “forest whale” concept and I couldn’t stop thinking about it so here I am.

also some bonus art (+ a warning bc one of them has a lot of static overlays which may cause eyestrain)

Keep reading

HOLY FUCK YES.

Y E S

I LOVE IT

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nevsky-shit:

joey-wheeler-official:

magathapai:

gallusrostromegalus:

songofkeys:

vr-trakowski:

joey-wheeler-official:

joey-wheeler-official:

joey-wheeler-official:

there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy.

like this one dude just made a fake taxidermy and spread it around as a hoax for a good ass while and it lead to this really cool fantasy creature and i am genuinely dissapointed that it never gets used in anything

image

THE BOY

Rabbirds, by the amazing @tkingfisher/Ursula Vernon (source).  

The lack of skvaders is particularly frustrating when you realize it forms the third point of a wonderful cryptid trifecta.

You got the jackalopes, which are rabbits with antlers.

And you got the wolpertingers, which are rabbits with antlers and wings.

And then… what? Do you escalate? That’s unbalanced, those two rabbit cryptids don’t have the same number of extra things, the wolpertinger is clearly the jackalope But More.

BUT with the skvader on the other side, balance is restored. Antler rabbit, winged rabbit, winged antler rabbit. It’s a classic Venn diagram of imaginary lapine beasts, and it’s only complete if you acknowledge the fucking skvader.

Good thing Ursula’s got our back, at least.

This is a really excellent point and I applaud your advancements in Cryptid Theory.

Gentleman, if I might add:

yes you may add this

Ok, but they are ACTUALLY cute