Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
I disagree with this whole heartedly, they would realize you weren’t a member of their family fairly quick since they keep Immaculate track of their family trees. The important thing, the really important thing, is that they wouldn’t care. Especially if you’re acting like they are family to you, they’re just going to assume that you’re someone who needs a family and needs friends and happily provide one to you without question. Especially if you’re someone, and given that you’re sharing their clothes this is pretty likely, with similar tastes to them. Eventually they will call you part of the family but it won’t be because they don’t realize you aren’t, it will be because they’ve decided to make you one.
i’d also like to add a little tidbit here as well. the Addam’s family don’t even care if you are like them or not. in the first movie, they had basically semi-adopted their finical guy in Gomez’s strange little way of sword fighting with him. and in the second movie, Debby was nothing like them at all (in appearances and when she was acting, i mean)
they make it some kind of habit of taking in the outcasts, the weirdos, the freaks and psychos sure, but they are just generally good people as well. they may not understand you if you like pastels and fluffy unicorns and pop music, but they’ll still respect it’s your choice. heck, when their youngest Addam’s turned into well… a ‘normal’ child
they adapted! they changed to suite the baby’s needs, even as drastically strange from their own life as it was.
so in short, yes, you could absolutely be adopted into this family of absolute weirdos by either being an absolute weirdo, being ‘normal’, or what ever! they’re pretty radical
I’m reasonably sure if I showed up at Gomez and Morticia’s and said “I disowned most of my family for being abusive fuckheads and I really just need someone to talk to” I would very shortly have a room, a spot in the family cemetery, and no more student loans.
That header photo doesn’t do the dragon justice. (For shame!). Here’s NASA’s own photo:
(Source [Because NASA is funded by taxpayer money, all their images are public domain, BTW])
THE TIME HAS COME
C-can we come back to the hole in the sun bit
nah, imma just enjoy the absinthe in the sky with diamonds
I mean… aurora borealis is caused by solar radiation interacting with the magnetosphere where it bends toward the earth at the poles. The most spectacular displays are caused by a solar mass ejection, which is the sun flinging off a bunch of itself. This process doesn’t exactly leave a hole, per se, but it does come from a sunspot, which looks like a hole.
So, in a way that bends the use of language nearly to the breaking point, yes, the green dragon did come from a “hole” in the sun.
Doug Jones. The name doesn’t ring a bell, does it? Probably not. But I’m here to tell you that this bitch is fabulous.
He started out as a mime and a professional contortionist. He got into acting and has acted in over 25 movies and numerous television shows. Still doesn’t ring any bells? Probably because Doug’s gig is characters and crazy ass costumes and shit.
Here’s a picture of him:
Still not look too familiar? Well, maybe you saw Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer?
Doug Jones.
Or, are you a Buffy fan? Remember the episode “Hush”?
Look familiar now? He’s the one in the front.
Did you like the movie Pan’s Labyrinth?
Doug Jones.
Doug Jones.
Did you like the Hellboy movies?
Doug Jones.
Doug Jones.
Doug Mother Fucking Jones.
Or, hey! Were you born in the 90’s? Remember the movie Hocus Pocus that would play on Disney Channel every halloween? Remember this guy?:
Yup. Doug Jones.
Still not convinced of how badass this guy is? Here’s some awesome for you.
It took him 5 hours to get into the Pale Man costume in Pan’sLabyrinth, and, once in it, he could only just slightly see out of the nose holes, but he was mostly blind.
And the costume for Fauno himself? Well, he could only just barely see out of the nose holes in that one, too. The actual head part was filled with mechanics that made the eyebrows and ears move. And those mechanics were so loud that he couldn’t hear while inside of it, so he had to memorize Ofelia’s lines as well as his own so that he could say them in his head to know when to talk. Oh, and he doesn’t actually speak any Spanish at all, so he was memorizing both his, and someone else’s lines in a language he couldn’t speak.
Doug Mother Fucking Jones.
Werk.
This is once more relevant since Doug Jones is at it again– he’s gonna be the hot fish man in Del Toro’s The Shape of Water.
Because you can never blog Dougie enough.
His ‘breakout’ was the MacTonight commercials (most of you are probably to young to remember those) as Moonhead
And c’mon kiddies, don’t you know who is playing the Thin Clown in ‘Batman Returns?’ Great speech, Oswald…
In Del Toro’s Crimson Peak, he played both of the other ghosts.
And like the previously mentioned films, he shot this sequence with limited sight due to the prosthetics. Look at that.
Face it, you’ve seen him everywhere and probably didn’t realize it. Let’s give it up for The Dougie.
I think the worst part is Doug Jones like almost never get’s credited with other actors, he’s almost always credited further down as a stunt man or something. In ‘The Shape of Water’ trailers his name isn’t with the other actors even though he’s literally a main character 😐 He’s not just a dude in a rubber suit! He’s a legit talented actor capable of doing things a lot of other actors can’t do.
And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.
Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism
You guys are obscenely, dangerously wrong.
It’s not planned obsolescence, it’s physics.
Modern cars crumple to absorb and distribute the forces of impact in an accident in an effort to protect the occupants. When cars didn’t have those crumple zones, the occupants, being the soft, squishy things they were, took those forces and were mangled or killed in horrible ways. Also, those older cars took hidden damage that often went unnoticed and made them very dangerous to drive. IT’s really easy to hide a twisted frame when all you need to do to make the car look okay is a bit of sanding and paint.
I recently watched a TV show where a small sedan was run over by the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Run. Over. They had to unwrap the crumpled ball of a car from the undercarriage of that trailer. Guess what? The driver suffered only minor injuries because the car collapsed in exactly the way it was designed to so that she, in the very strong frame surrounding the passenger compartment, was protected.
And no, don’t thank capitalism for these modern cars. Thank Ralph Nader and countless other safety activists who worked tirelessly to make car manufacturers accountable for the safety of the people who drove their cars.
I’m an estimator for a major insurance company which means I spend all day, every day, around wrecked cars. I’ve been to the NHTSA, I’ve attended a crash test. I have actually seen and put hands on both the vehicles in the .gif above. The idea that old cars are somehow built better or are “tanks” or whatever is not only wrong, it’s dangerous. New cars are built to “crunch” so you don’t have to.
This is the 59 Bel Aire post crash – notice that the area where the driver sits is significantly compromised. The person driving this car would have died in this 35mph crash.
This is the Malibu – crunched? Yes! But the area where the driver sits is not crushed.
I have seen modern cars keep people alive in horrifying accidents. Cars are objectively better and safer in every single way than they were 10, 20, 30 years ago. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. Period.
Also modern passenger cars are definitely not made of fiberglass. What even?
Dude! This is timely! An old friend of mine just got in a high-speed crash (t-boned at 45mph) the other day. Her car was totaled. All airbags deployed.
Her ONLY injury was a bruised tailbone.
Fuck yeah, crumple zones! 😀
Tl;dr version: When the car doesn’t absorb the impact of the crash, your body does instead.
