Maybe Jesus didn’t like to talk about it because it wasn’t the same kind of car as his Dad’s.
Because as we all know, God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in His Fury.
Nah, clearly God drives Dodge pickup trucks, because Moshe’s people are told not to approach the mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast” -Exodus 19:13.
And this is why we used to make cars out of STEEL instead of FIBERGLASS! Sure, fiberglass is a lot lighter in weight and hence a hell of a lot better for gas mileage. But you hit anything at more than 20 mph and the entire body explodes off the fucking thing, and now you’re spending more to repair the car than it’s worth because you need a entire front end, read end, or side panel. They can’t just take the damaged section off, beat it out with a hammer, sand it, and repaint it.
Everything is made with the idea of it being easier to replace than to maintain, aka planned obsolescence. Thanks, capitalism
You guys are obscenely, dangerously wrong.
It’s not planned obsolescence, it’s physics.
Modern cars crumple to absorb and distribute the forces of impact in an accident in an effort to protect the occupants. When cars didn’t have those crumple zones, the occupants, being the soft, squishy things they were, took those forces and were mangled or killed in horrible ways. Also, those older cars took hidden damage that often went unnoticed and made them very dangerous to drive. IT’s really easy to hide a twisted frame when all you need to do to make the car look okay is a bit of sanding and paint.
I recently watched a TV show where a small sedan was run over by the trailer of an eighteen-wheeler. Run. Over. They had to unwrap the crumpled ball of a car from the undercarriage of that trailer. Guess what? The driver suffered only minor injuries because the car collapsed in exactly the way it was designed to so that she, in the very strong frame surrounding the passenger compartment, was protected.
And no, don’t thank capitalism for these modern cars. Thank Ralph Nader and countless other safety activists who worked tirelessly to make car manufacturers accountable for the safety of the people who drove their cars.
I’m an estimator for a major insurance company which means I spend all day, every day, around wrecked cars. I’ve been to the NHTSA, I’ve attended a crash test. I have actually seen and put hands on both the vehicles in the .gif above. The idea that old cars are somehow built better or are “tanks” or whatever is not only wrong, it’s dangerous. New cars are built to “crunch” so you don’t have to.
This is the 59 Bel Aire post crash – notice that the area where the driver sits is significantly compromised. The person driving this car would have died in this 35mph crash.
This is the Malibu – crunched? Yes! But the area where the driver sits is not crushed.
I have seen modern cars keep people alive in horrifying accidents. Cars are objectively better and safer in every single way than they were 10, 20, 30 years ago. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. Period.
Also modern passenger cars are definitely not made of fiberglass. What even?
Dude! This is timely! An old friend of mine just got in a high-speed crash (t-boned at 45mph) the other day. Her car was totaled. All airbags deployed.
Her ONLY injury was a bruised tailbone.
Fuck yeah, crumple zones! 😀
Tl;dr version: When the car doesn’t absorb the impact of the crash, your body does instead.
LET ME TELL YOU ‘BOUT THE MOTHER FUCKING MERCEDES-BENZ T80
Back in the 1930’s, Germany was all about racing and setting records. Auto Union and Mercedes-Benz were so much faster than everyone else that it had just really become a competition between themselves – and besides just Grand Prix racing, they loved to do world record attempts.
On public roads.
Yep, on the Autobahn.
In 1938, Auto Union and Mercedes got together to fuck with the land speed record – because fuck you, that’s why – and Rudolf Caracciola managed 268 mph on the Autobahn (the A5). Bernd Rosemeyer was killed trying the same for Auto Union as a result of a crosswind.
Already in development though, was the Mercedes-Benz T80 (which the great Dr. Ferdinand Porsche was brought on board to work on!).
And hold shit christ fuck balls.
To start off, they used a specially modified derivative of the famous Mercedes-Benz inverted V12 used in the BF 109 – however instead of the 1350 horsepower available from the aircraft derivative (in 1939 F form) it made 3000 horsepower. Yes, 3000. There were still no seat belts. Fuck you, that’s why.
The power increases came from a mixture of a special fuel, capacity increase over the DB 601 in the fighter, and methanol-water injection.
But not only is the engine impressive – the chassis is a 6-wheeled, middled engined and four wheel drive! The drum brakes on all 6 wheels are enormous – and the chassis uses oval tubes like on the W125 Grand Prix car, which was very advanced for it’s time.
Even more advanced were the aerodynamics – with a drag coefficient of just 0.18 – which is even lower than any of the famous Alfa Romeo BAT cars, and astounding for 1939 (though another Mercedes-Benz test car of the same era apparently managed a Cd of less than .15) – which allowed it’s top speed to be somewhere in the neighbourhood of 470 miles per hour. Yes, 470 miles an hour. In a car with drum brakes and no seat belts. On a public road (between Halle and Leipzig, now the A9).
BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT’S WHY.
Everyone needs to see this German badassery because engineering that’s why.
– Go in at the end of the month
– Buy the model of the year right before the model for the next year comes out (dealers get desperate to sell the old models)
– Refuse to put any money down. Say that if they ask you to put down money, you’ll leave
– Seriously. If they ask you to put down money say you need to go and walk out
– If there’s another dealership nearby, tell them that you’re walking there right after you leave
– If a deal seems unfair but you really like the car, tell them you’re going to another dealership and leave. Chances are, they’ll call back the next day with a better deal
– If possible, after the first call wait till the last few days of the month and they’ll likely call again with an even better deal
– Look around for family and friends that need a car. If you buy more than one car from the same dealership you’ll get a much better deal
– If a family member/friend is looking for a used car while you’re looking for a new car or vice versa, still get the used car from the same dealership
– If you decide to buy a new car after a few years, trade in the old car and buy a new one from the same dealership. Companies appreciate loyalty and will likely offer you a lower price
UPDATED
(My dad went to college for finance, more specifically he looked a lot at stocks and how to sell things for a maximum profit. He learned it from the perspective of the company but it also works in his advantage)
– When you walk into a dealership, the salesperson will immediately “be your friend”. They’ll act like it’s you and them against dealership – Sometimes a salesperson will offer to talk to the manager. This does not mean anything. Chances are, they’re going to have small talk for a few minutes and come back out – Carefully consider the usefulness of an extended warranty. You’re losing money unless there’s an accident or issue soon after you buy the car – This wasn’t so clear before, but you’re still going to have to pay a down payment. What you should refuse is a securing payment – The securing payment is a psychological trick. You feel more tied to the company so you’re more likely to buy from them – You’re extremely more likely to buy at the last place you go, but with the securing payment you’re less likely to go to another dealership due to a sense of commitment – A salesperson may say it’s a limited time deal. Most times, unless this is the last of that years model, or it’s a special event, the deal is not going away and will still be there if you decide to go back. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker, but you should be suspicious if it’s said to you – Save money by asking to buy the floor model. There’s no mileage on it, but it’s worth less because people have sat in it – Or, ask to buy the demo if you’re willing to buy a car with some mileage. The depreciation of the price is usually worth it – Each can get you a few thousand dollars off due to the fact that it is technically not a “new” car anymore – Always look at the websites and play around with the build a car, payment calculators, or anything other offered features. Make sure when you’re using it you look at the down payment and the number of months that you will be paying for the car over – Try to not buy a really obscure model because the trade in value will be lower – Get the maximum down payment you can afford to lower the interest cost – Look for a crash rating test. A 5 is going to get good trade in value, and is much safer
(This was written in NY so there might be exceptions in other states or countries)
