2 teeth = 1 tooth. 2 geese = 1 goose. therefore 2 sheep = 1 shoop
Tag: English is weird
you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk
example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night
Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).
Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.
… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.
I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.
Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.
“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”
Something is
Something is wrong with our language
Is it a glitch or a feature?
Feature
we don’t have anything like this in French and it offers a range of expressibility that I wish we could properly translate back. it is a feature, i concur
just so younger people are aware: a few years ago it was sorta impossible to google how words were pronounced. and it sucked. it was super terrible. the next time an aging asshat tries to shame you for being young, just know I have been pronouncing my vowels wrong my entire life and am still extremely bitter over this. I would strangle countless condescending boomers for the chance to drag even this tiny bit of technological progress back to my primary school days.
the good old days were never good. next time an adult tells you that, look em dead in the eye n tell them they’re either an idiot or a sellout
What words have you been mispronouncing
- deign
- caveat
- perogies
- macabre
- necronomicon
- epitaph
- motif
- analogous
- comparable
- colonel
- egregious
- hyperbole
- ignominious
- superfluous
- malleable
- insatiable
- chaos (i pronounced it ‘cha-chose’ in my head I have no idea why)
- and many others
- you can understand my extreme bitterness
How is colonel said… is it not coll-on-el?
Sadly no.
In English (American) it is pronounced ker-nal.
Think of the KFC guy, Colonel Sanders.
thatwheezingsoundthetardismakes:
Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.
At some point my brain decided based on the word knee that body parts beginning with a n sound should have a silent k (particularly the word neck) so I am against gnipples wholeheartedly, it should clearly be knipples!
How about a compromise? Gn words and kn words get switched. So now it’s gneecaps and gnowledge, but it’s also knome and Knosticism.
the problem with this is that it doesn’t account for the original dilemma, which was gnipples vs. knipples
I, for one, think it should be pnipples, like pneumonia
Okay, but what about mnipples, like ‘mnemonic’?
Gkpmnipples (pronounced “nipples”)
This is the kind of content I remain for. (and y’all provide on the regular, I love you)
Female presenting gkpmnipples
English is difficult. It can be understood though through tough thorough thought.
fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan:
Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.
So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess
… can i use that phrase irl?
Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.
Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.
You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly
knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk
backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.
im begging yall someone commission me for these because i have a memory of a goldfish on shrooms and will not remember to do so otherwise