yesterday for April Fool’s my workplace had a short training article on recognizing computer-generated faces from real ones and one of the tricks mentioned was “count the teeth” and I just wanted to say that it’s both ironic and kind of horrifying how society has unwittingly cycled right back to IF YE MEET A MAN ON THE ROAD, COUNT HIS FINGERS LEST YE DEAL UNKNOWING WITH A FAE
The fae were time traveling AIs.
Fairyland? The future.
Mushroom rings were disguised time portals. Explains how people could be gone for a day and come back 100 years later– the AIs dropped them off later for fun.
The food that was so good, everything else tasted like ashes? Modern cooking laced with drugs.
The faerie “magic” was just advanced science. The only-telling-the-truth comes from an integral part of their code, Asimov-style. The fear of iron comes from a far of magnets that could be used to wipe their harddrive.
The Wild Hunt/Changlings? AI who find the whole thing hilarious. Robot humor at it’s finest. Look at the squishy extinct sapients run.
It’s late and I tied and have sent far to much thinking about this.
Me: [kneels down in front of faerie queen, head bowed] Queen: [taps my right shoulder with a sword] Queen: “I dub thee a knight or whatever.” Me: [doesn’t move] Queen: “Uh. It’s over. Why… are you still kneeling?” Me: “Well ma’am I was kinda hoping you’d play with my hair.”
Queen: [sighs, ruffles}
Queen: “Like that?”
Me: “Aaaaaand with that, my fealty is guaranteed for like… eternity.”
Faerie: “Your Majesty, did you put your own human knight into an enchanted sleep?” Queen: “No! They just… passed out. Right there. Take care not to step on them during the revels, I think they’ll be fine…”
Stop. Normaling. Bath Bombs. they’re training people not to recognize the inherent dangers of magical vortexes
thousands of years of evolutionary instincts gone just like that. you dumbasses are gonna stick your feet in the first glowing portal you stumble across and get kidnapped by the fucking fae
you say this like most people on this website wouldn’t want exactly that to happen, myself included
update: I knew this post would be popular when I wrote it, and that still didn’t stop me from misspelling the first damn sentence
You haven’t fixed it.
I fixed it 10 minutes after posting and people still manage to reblog this version half the time
It’s natures fault too like have you seen lava pools I want to stick my whole body in there
Did i ever tell y’all the story of how one year my family picked up a hitchhiker in the middle of nowhere (like you do) and just..drove him to my grandma’s house for thanksgiving and he stayed with us for the whole weekend and my grandmere was So concerned that like…he wasn’t getting enough food she made a whole extra pie and pierogies just for him, ofc some to take on the way back. And he just ate with us like the 12+ ppl that consist of my family and dave who we picked up from the road. Now this man had. Nothing on him except his clothes and wallet like no backpack…nothing. so she also gave him some of my grandpa’s clothes and it was a little awkward but he was nice and funny and at the end of the weekend we offered to take him back or anywhere he needed to go (mind you we drove him like…7 hours away from where we picked him up) and he was just like…“nah just drop me off where you found me” and so we did and i never saw or heard from him again and thats how im pretty sure i met an immortal
@ fae side of tumblr please explain what kind of deity i interacted with
I’m pretty sure your family is the fae in this situation
