Doug Jones. The name doesn’t ring a bell, does it? Probably not. But I’m here to tell you that this bitch is fabulous.
He started out as a mime and a professional contortionist. He got into acting and has acted in over 25 movies and numerous television shows. Still doesn’t ring any bells? Probably because Doug’s gig is characters and crazy ass costumes and shit.
Here’s a picture of him:
Still not look too familiar? Well, maybe you saw Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer?
Doug Jones.
Or, are you a Buffy fan? Remember the episode “Hush”?
Look familiar now? He’s the one in the front.
Did you like the movie Pan’s Labyrinth?
Doug Jones.
Doug Jones.
Did you like the Hellboy movies?
Doug Jones.
Doug Jones.
Doug Mother Fucking Jones.
Or, hey! Were you born in the 90’s? Remember the movie Hocus Pocus that would play on Disney Channel every halloween? Remember this guy?:
Yup. Doug Jones.
Still not convinced of how badass this guy is? Here’s some awesome for you.
It took him 5 hours to get into the Pale Man costume in Pan’sLabyrinth, and, once in it, he could only just slightly see out of the nose holes, but he was mostly blind.
And the costume for Fauno himself? Well, he could only just barely see out of the nose holes in that one, too. The actual head part was filled with mechanics that made the eyebrows and ears move. And those mechanics were so loud that he couldn’t hear while inside of it, so he had to memorize Ofelia’s lines as well as his own so that he could say them in his head to know when to talk. Oh, and he doesn’t actually speak any Spanish at all, so he was memorizing both his, and someone else’s lines in a language he couldn’t speak.
Doug Mother Fucking Jones.
Werk.
This is once more relevant since Doug Jones is at it again– he’s gonna be the hot fish man in Del Toro’s The Shape of Water.
Because you can never blog Dougie enough.
His ‘breakout’ was the MacTonight commercials (most of you are probably to young to remember those) as Moonhead
And c’mon kiddies, don’t you know who is playing the Thin Clown in ‘Batman Returns?’ Great speech, Oswald…
In Del Toro’s Crimson Peak, he played both of the other ghosts.
And like the previously mentioned films, he shot this sequence with limited sight due to the prosthetics. Look at that.
Face it, you’ve seen him everywhere and probably didn’t realize it. Let’s give it up for The Dougie.
I think the worst part is Doug Jones like almost never get’s credited with other actors, he’s almost always credited further down as a stunt man or something. In ‘The Shape of Water’ trailers his name isn’t with the other actors even though he’s literally a main character 😐 He’s not just a dude in a rubber suit! He’s a legit talented actor capable of doing things a lot of other actors can’t do.
Me: [kneels down in front of faerie queen, head bowed] Queen: [taps my right shoulder with a sword] Queen: “I dub thee a knight or whatever.” Me: [doesn’t move] Queen: “Uh. It’s over. Why… are you still kneeling?” Me: “Well ma’am I was kinda hoping you’d play with my hair.”
Queen: [sighs, ruffles}
Queen: “Like that?”
Me: “Aaaaaand with that, my fealty is guaranteed for like… eternity.”
Faerie: “Your Majesty, did you put your own human knight into an enchanted sleep?” Queen: “No! They just… passed out. Right there. Take care not to step on them during the revels, I think they’ll be fine…”
Ever since he killed Net Neutrality with dirty tricks and illegal tactics,
Donald Trump’s FCC Chairman Ajit Pai has been claiming that his actions
had stimulated broadband growth in America, a claim his spokesvillain
repeated yesterday in response to Democrats introducing legislation to restore Net Neutrality.
But the data that Pai has touted was badly distorted due to a monumental
error (or, less charitably, a massive fraud) by a company called
Barrierfree, who seem to have incorrectly completed their their “Form
477” report of broadband availability in a way that vastly overstated
the availability of their service, creating an error of such magnitude
that it distorted the figures for the whole country.
Barrierfree – the trading name of the Barrier Communications
Corporation – claimed that it its first year of operation, it had made
fixed wireless and fiber service available to 62 million people – 20%
of the population of the USA. In reality, Barrierfree offers a small
number of people access to a poky wireless service that caps out at
25mbps.
Companies submitting Form 477 are instructed to enumerate each “census
block” where they offer service; Barrierfree appears to have simply
reported that service was available in every census block in every state
it operates in.
The extent to which this distorts Pai’s figures can hardly be
overstated: for example, Barrierfree’s claims account for 2m of the the
5.6m rural connections that Pai claimed had been made in 2017/8.
More importantly, Barrierfree’s entries allowed Pai to avoid a
legislative duty – under Section 706 of the Telecommunications Act –
to intervene if the FCC determines that broadband deployment isn’t
happening quickly enough.
The incorrect claims by Barrierfree were detected by the nonprofit Free
Press, who found it obvious that there was no way that a company like
Barrierfree could go from zero availability to deployment serving 62
million people literally overnight.
Frank Wu writes, “Today Brianna Wu, progressive Democrat and cybersecurity expert, is launching her 2020 bid for US Congress in MA-8!
She has a brand new video, in which she introduces herself, and talks
about being disowned by her family when she came out as queer. He also
talks about the alt-right hate group Gamergate, founding her software
development firm, and progressive policies she supports. Simultaneously,
Brianna has re-designed her website, which outlines her platform,
accepts donations, and allows supporters to volunteer. ‘It’s time to be
bold,’ Brianna says.”
