Therapist says that when normal coping mechanisms stop working it’s usually a sign that you’ve either recovered or relapsed significantly and that therefore you need to change strategies. I’m hoping that “As I’ve had more to be stressed about” is used here in the positive sense- that you’ve taken on more responsibilities and are able to do more of the things you want, which while awesome, handling more stress also means, well higher stress levels.
Since Doing A Productive isn’t helping you anymore, we’re gonna Marie Kondo that strategy, thank it for it’s help, and let it go (for now. If this is a relapse issue we can always come back to it later).
Some other strategies that might help Under the cut becuase this got kinda long:
So I tried going to bed at a reasonable hour and now it’s 2AM and I am very much A W A K E so I’m gonna be productive and set up things so I can have a real breakfast before therapy tomorrow.
I am feeling the fuck out of this except replace productivity with anxiety and bam we are basically twins
As someone that’s lived with anxiety since early childhood:
Choosing to Do A Productive is the most reliable way to kick an anxiety attack I’ve found yet.
It’s a pain in the ass to develop this habit (Goodness knows I fail at it all the time) and it requires having A Productive you can feasibly do at 4AM (vaccuming is right out) but if you can do SOMETHING it consumes enough focus that anxiety fit is relegated to the back burner where it chokes like a candle without air.
Potential Productives To Do In The Wee Hours Of The Morning When Everything Is Too Much:
set things up for future you to have a nice breakfast
actually just have breakfast right now, you’re probably hungry
gather at least some of the trash into bags and put them by the door to take out.
If it is safe to do so, actually take out the trash
Water your plants. They don’t care that it’s nighttime. They thorsty.
Clean you pet’s food and water bowls
An Shower.
Change your sheets
Take everything out of your backpack/Purse/carryall, throw out the trash and at least shake out the accumulated cumbs and crud.
Do a load of laundry
if u don’t have laundry, take the covers off your sofa and launder those. they need it and you’ll like having a nice-smelling couch.
Answer An Email
Do Some dishes. Maybe not all of them if they’ve been piling up, but some.
Consume A Vegetable
Check your snail mail.
anything you’d be thrilled to wake up and find out had been done in the night for you by gnomes? go do that thing. Future You will be so happy.
This post has been trending in my notes again, so here it is for anyone else who might need it.
self-love is the one of the most radical things you can practice in a society that wants you to be apathetic and self-loathing. learn to LOVE yourself! you’re fucking worth it!!!
Reblogging this in the hopes that the image of a sweet little mouse doing her best to make my emotions will help me remember to be kinder to myself.
Definitely reblogging for the much more helpful concept of a helpful mouse doing her best for the sake of people who regularly hate on their brain then wonder why that’s not working so well.
This just shocked me so much I started crying. As soon as you put it like that I realize how often I talk so horribly to myself. I’m sorry mouse lady we can do better.
When you just can’t love yourself, just work on giving yourself basic respect.
When you just can’t practice self care, aim for basic hygiene and keeping yourself alive.
When you just can’t have positive thoughts, focus on ignoring the negative ones.
When you just can’t quit those bad habits and unhealthy coping mechanisms, be sure to take care of yourself afterwards.
When you just can’t make yourself eat enough, aim for something three times a day, even if it’s something small.
When you just can’t stop binge eating, just do your best to forgive yourself and focus on something else instead of dwelling on it for any longer.
Not everyone is at a point where they can recover, and so thinking about recovery can be intimidating and make them shut down, because they just feel like they’re nowhere close to getting better so they might as well not bother. There needs to be more advice on dragging yourself through the days. Self care to the bare minimum. Aiming for “feeling okay with yourself” or “feeling less awful about yourself” rather than loving yourself. Baby steps.
The SINGLE most valuable thing I acquired from my undergrad degree was internalising this: something is better than nothing.
‘Perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good’. ‘Good ‘is often the enemy of ‘done’. Best practices are almost always the enemy of better practices.
I have spent a lot of time in my professional life – in several different fields, actually – trying to convince people to do something. Because something is always better than nothing. Even if it’s a very, very small something. It’s still better.
and this is my list that i have hanging up on my wall for when i feel sad so…….. here goes nothing, i guess
(also apologies if the formatting is off there’s enters and other things i’m on mobile i’m sorry)
1) take a shower. wash your hair, exfoliate, face mask if you can do it. put on completely new clothes. underwear and the whole shebang. this’ll help.
2) make tea. i find that sweetened with honey is the best, really. something about it. also, before you get that, drink a nice tall glass of water.
3) eat a favorite food. if you don’t feel like making anything big, search recipes for mug cakes. or something simple, like fruit or a pudding cup or something. lovely.
4) wrap yourself in a warm blanket that you just pulled out of the dryer. bonus points if it’s down or fuzzy. get under the covers and snuggle yourself.
5) put your favorite movie on. lion king or some shit. amazing. get a pet or a stuffed animal to snuggle you.
6) fall asleep after calling a friend. we love you. you are worth more than all the stars in the sky, and you deserve to feel alright, even if it’s just for a little bit.
7) don’t be discouraged if you don’t feel better right away. we are here for you no matter how long it takes.
8) you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. you are made of stardust and iron. don’t forget it.
God I really wish carrying stuffed animals around with you was socially acceptable
I don’t mean to take over a post, but I actually did a project on this for my sociology of deviance class in college!
I carried a large stuffed rabbit whenever I went in public for about a week to observe the reaction of others. The point of the project was to do something harmless yet unusual to see if the action would be considered deviant, in which case someone had to try to correct or shame the behavior.
Long story short, nobody tried to correct my behavior. I was asked about it casually, had a few lingering stares thrown my way and when I was with my boyfriend, shop employees would direct questions to him instead of me. However, nobody refused to assist me when I was alone in a store, nobody said anything about the rabbit besides “oh, thats a cute bunny!” and I attended college classes without even a teacher questioning it.
In conclusion, it is socially acceptable to carry a stuffed animal, its just not a societal norm. ^^
My friend gave me a stuffed monkey plushy when I was struggling with uni, and I took him everywhere for like four years, usually velcrod to my backpack. No one said a damn thing, except my renaissance professor who saw it one day in the hallway and cracked the fuck up because I had a literal monkey on my back and he just looked at me like, “oh god, me too”. I used to leave him on desks during classes and exams (the monkey, not my prof). It was my reminder that someone cared if I was coping. But more than that it was soothing to have something to fidget with that wasn’t a pen. I used to ping those fucking things across the room I was so agitated. Harder to hurt people with a projectile stuffed monkey.
I got what I thought was a normal screen cleaning kit for my computer while I was in college. Much to my delight, instead of a little washcloth or whatever, the kit came with a tiny stuffed pig.
So I carried this pig in my backpack all through college, periodically taking it out, spraying my screen, and using the pig to wipe it off.
Now, I kept the pig in the side pocket of my bag where he was completely visible.
Then one day in screenwriting class I pulled him out to wipe my screen.
One of the guys sitting next to me looked appalled. “You’re wiping it off with your little stuffed animal??”
I explained what the pig was.
Turns out, the guy had noticed it and just thought it was adorable I carried a stuffed animal with me every day. He’d never mentioned it before.
Honestly, people do not care, and will not say anything. No matter the reason for your little stuffed animal friend.
And if you’re still really nervous about it keep a stuffed animal keychain on your bag. I have a cute little frog that stays on my backpack so when work gets stressful I can squeeze it.
