Tag: Text

Oh for fuck’s sake, not this fucking bullshit again (cryptography edition)

mostlysignssomeportents:

America, Canada, New Zealand, the UK and Australia are in a surveillance
alliance called The Five Eyes, through which they share much of their
illegally harvested surveillance data.

In a recently released Statement of Principles on Access to Evidence and Encryption,
the Five Eyes powers have demanded, again, that strong cryptography be
abolished and replaced with defective cryptography so that they can spy
on bad guys.

They defend this by saying “Privacy is not absolute.”

But of course, working crypto isn’t just how we stay private from
governments (though god knows all five of the Five Eyes have, in very
recent times, proven themselves to be catastrophically unsuited to
collect, analyze and act on all of our private and most intimate
conversations). It’s how we make sure that no one can break into the
data from our voting machines, or push lethal fake firmware updates to
our pacemakers, or steal all the money from all of the banks, or steal
all of the kompromat on all 22,000,000 US military and government
employees and contractors who’ve sought security clearance.

Also, this is bullshit.

Because it won’t work.

Here’s the text of my go-to post about why this is so fucking stupid. I just can’t be bothered anymore. Jesus fucking christ. Seriously? Are we still fucking talking about this? Seriously? Come on, SERIOUSLY?

It’s impossible to overstate how bonkers the idea of sabotaging
cryptography is to people who understand information security. If you
want to secure your sensitive data either at rest – on your hard drive,
in the cloud, on that phone you left on the train last week and never
saw again – or on the wire, when you’re sending it to your doctor or
your bank or to your work colleagues, you have to use good cryptography.
Use deliberately compromised cryptography, that has a back door that
only the “good guys” are supposed to have the keys to, and you have
effectively no security. You might as well skywrite it as encrypt it
with pre-broken, sabotaged encryption.

There are two reasons why this is so. First, there is the question of
whether encryption can be made secure while still maintaining a “master
key” for the authorities’ use. As lawyer/computer scientist Jonathan
Mayer explained,
adding the complexity of master keys to our technology will “introduce
unquantifiable security risks”. It’s hard enough getting the security
systems that protect our homes, finances, health and privacy to be
airtight – making them airtight except when the authorities don’t want
them to be is impossible.

What these leaders thinks they’re saying is, “We will command all the
software creators we can reach to introduce back-doors into their tools
for us.” There are enormous problems with this: there’s no back door
that only lets good guys go through it. If your Whatsapp or Google
Hangouts has a deliberately introduced flaw in it, then foreign spies,
criminals, crooked police (like those who fed sensitive information to
the tabloids who were implicated in the hacking scandal – and like the
high-level police who secretly worked for organised crime for years),
and criminals will eventually discover this vulnerability. They – and
not just the security services – will be able to use it to intercept
all of our communications. That includes things like the pictures of
your kids in your bath that you send to your parents to the trade
secrets you send to your co-workers.

But this is just for starters. These officials don’t understand
technology very well, so they doesn’t actually know what they’re asking
for.

For this proposal to work, they will need to stop Britons, Canadians,
Americans, Kiwis and Australians from installing software that comes
from software creators who are out of their jurisdiction. The very best
in secure communications are already free/open source projects,
maintained by thousands of independent programmers around the world.
They are widely available, and thanks to things like cryptographic
signing, it is possible to download these packages from any server in
the world (not just big ones like Github) and verify, with a very high
degree of confidence, that the software you’ve downloaded hasn’t been
tampered with.

Australia is not alone here. The regime they proposes is already in
place in countries like Syria, Russia, and Iran (for the record, none of
these countries have had much luck with it). There are two means by
which authoritarian governments have attempted to restrict the use of
secure technology: by network filtering and by technology mandates.

Australian governments have already shown that they believes they can
order the nation’s ISPs to block access to certain websites (again, for
the record, this hasn’t worked very well). The next step is to order
Chinese-style filtering using deep packet inspection, to try and
distinguish traffic and block forbidden programs. This is a formidable
technical challenge. Intrinsic to core Internet protocols like IPv4/6,
TCP and UDP is the potential to “tunnel” one protocol inside another.
This makes the project of figuring out whether a given packet is on the
white-list or the black-list transcendentally hard, especially if you
want to minimise the number of “good” sessions you accidentally
blackhole.

More ambitious is a mandate over which code operating systems in the 5
Eyes nations are allowed to execute. This is very hard. We do have, in
Apple’s Ios platform and various games consoles, a regime where a single
company uses countermeasures to ensure that only software it has
blessed can run on the devices it sells to us. These companies could,
indeed, be compelled (by an act of Parliament) to block secure software.
Even there, you’d have to contend with the fact that other states are
unlikely to follow suit, and that means that anyone who bought her
Iphone in Paris or Mexico could come to the 5 Eyes countries with all
their secure software intact and send messages “we cannot read.”

But there is the problem of more open platforms, like GNU/Linux
variants, BSD and other unixes, Mac OS X, and all the non-mobile
versions of Windows. All of these operating systems are already designed
to allow users to execute any code they want to run. The commercial
operators – Apple and Microsoft – might conceivably be compelled by
Parliament to change their operating systems to block secure software in
the future, but that doesn’t do anything to stop people from using all
the PCs now in existence to run code that the PM wants to ban.

More difficult is the world of free/open operating systems like
GNU/Linux and BSD. These operating systems are the gold standard for
servers, and widely used on desktop computers (especially by the
engineers and administrators who run the nation’s IT). There is no legal
or technical mechanism by which code that is designed to be modified by
its users can co-exist with a rule that says that code must treat its
users as adversaries and seek to prevent them from running prohibited
code.

This, then, is what the Five Eyes are proposing:

* All 5 Eyes citizens’ communications must be easy for criminals, voyeurs and foreign spies to intercept

* Any firms within reach of a 5 Eyes government must be banned from producing secure software

* All major code repositories, such as Github and Sourceforge, must be blocked in the 5 Eyes

* Search engines must not answer queries about web-pages that carry secure software

* Virtually all academic security work in the 5 Eyes must cease –
security research must only take place in proprietary research
environments where there is no onus to publish one’s findings, such as
industry R&D and the security services

* All packets in and out of 5 Eyes countries, and within those
countries, must be subject to Chinese-style deep-packet inspection and
any packets that appear to originate from secure software must be
dropped

* Existing walled gardens (like Ios and games consoles) must be ordered to ban their users from installing secure software

* Anyone visiting a 5 Eyes country from abroad must have their smartphones held at the border until they leave

* Proprietary operating system vendors (Microsoft and Apple) must be
ordered to redesign their operating systems as walled gardens that only
allow users to run software from an app store, which will not sell or
give secure software to Britons

* Free/open source operating systems – that power the energy, banking,
ecommerce, and infrastructure sectors – must be banned outright

The Five Eyes officials will say that they doesn’t want to do any of
this. They’ll say that they can implement weaker versions of it – say,
only blocking some “notorious” sites that carry secure software. But
anything less than the programme above will have no material effect on
the ability of criminals to carry on perfectly secret conversations that
“we cannot read”. If any commodity PC or jailbroken phone can run any
of the world’s most popular communications applications, then “bad guys”
will just use them. Jailbreaking an OS isn’t hard. Downloading an app
isn’t hard. Stopping people from running code they want to run is – and
what’s more, it puts the every 5 Eyes nation – individuals and
industry – in terrible jeopardy.

That’s a technical argument, and it’s a good one, but you don’t have to
be a cryptographer to understand the second problem with back doors: the
security services are really bad at overseeing their own behaviour.

Once these same people have a back door that gives them access to
everything that encryption protects, from the digital locks on your home
or office to the information needed to clean out your bank account or
read all your email, there will be lots more people who’ll want to
subvert the vast cohort that is authorised to use the back door, and the
incentives for betraying our trust will be much more lavish than
anything a tabloid reporter could afford.

If you want a preview of what a back door looks like, just look at the
US Transportation Security Administration’s “master keys” for the locks
on our luggage. Since 2003, the TSA has required all locked baggage
travelling within, or transiting through, the USA to be equipped with
Travelsentry locks, which have been designed to allow anyone with a
widely held master key to open them.

What happened after Travelsentry went into effect? Stuff started going
missing from bags. Lots and lots of stuff. A CNN investigation into
thefts from bags checked in US airports found thousands of incidents of
theft committed by TSA workers and baggage handlers. And though
“aggressive investigation work” has cut back on theft at some airports,
insider thieves are still operating with impunity throughout the
country, even managing to smuggle stolen goods off the airfield in
airports where all employees are searched on their way in and out of
their work areas.

The US system is rigged to create a halo of buck-passing
unaccountability. When my family picked up our bags from our Easter
holiday in the US, we discovered that the TSA had smashed the locks off
my nearly new, unlocked, Travelsentry-approved bag, taping it shut after
confirming it had nothing dangerous in it, and leaving it “completely
destroyed” in the words of the official BA damage report. British
Airways has sensibly declared the damage to be not their problem, as
they had nothing to do with destroying the bag. The TSA directed me to a
form that generated an illiterate reply from a government subcontractor,
sent from a do-not-reply email address, advising that “TSA is not
liable for any damage to locks or bags that are required to be opened by
force for security purposes” (the same note had an appendix warning me
that I should treat this communication as confidential). I’ve yet to
have any other communications from the TSA.

Making it possible for the state to open your locks in secret means that
anyone who works for the state, or anyone who can bribe or coerce
anyone who works for the state, can have the run of your life.
Cryptographic locks don’t just protect our mundane communications:
cryptography is the reason why thieves can’t impersonate your fob to
your car’s keyless ignition system; it’s the reason you can bank online;
and it’s the basis for all trust and security in the 21st century.

In her Dimbleby lecture, Martha Lane Fox recalled Aaron Swartz’s words:
“It’s not OK not to understand the internet anymore.” That goes double
for cryptography: any politician caught spouting off about back doors is
unfit for office anywhere but Hogwarts, which is also the only
educational institution whose computer science department believes in
“golden keys” that only let the right sort of people break your
encryption.

https://boingboing.net/2018/09/04/illegal-math.html

tamaranianprincess:

stark-tony:

 I adore tony being one of peter’s emergency contacts at school but what I love even better is the school staffs reaction to may putting him as one

I mean they would just be like “i’m sorry you wanna put who as what now?!?!”

Tony’s sitting in his lab working on fixing DUM-E’s claw, because somehow, the bot managed to break off one of it’s digits while Tony wasn’t looking. He didn’t even asked FRIDAY how it happened, just told her that if DUM-E tried to do whatever it was again, to let him know.

There’s a sudden vibrating next to him, and he spares a glance to see that it’s his phone with a new text message. He sets down his current tool and checks his phone to see if it’s Peter or Pepper, because if not then it can wait.

It’s not either of them.

But this person certainly can NOT wait.

He quickly opens the text.

Aunt Hottie: Hey, can you do me a favor?

Me: Of course, is everything okay?

Aunt Hottie: Yes, everything’s fine. 

Aunt Hottie: Do you remember how we agreed to have you down as Peter’s second emergency contact at the school?

Me: Yes

Aunt Hottie: Well, there’s a problem.

Me: Whose ass do I need to kick

Aunt Hottie: Tony.

Me: Sorry, what’s the problem

Aunt Hottie: The school doesn’t believe that Peter actually knows you, they even gave Peter detention because they thought he was trying to “take his internship lie too far”. I didn’t even know that nobody believed him.

Aunt Hottie: And when I went down there to try and straighten it out, they didn’t believe me either, and told me to stop encouraging Peter.

Tony felt white hot anger flash through his veins. Not only were these people punishing Peter for telling the truth, but they were straight up insulting the kid’s aunt.

Oh hell no.

Me: So what you’re saying is everything is not okay and that I do need to kick some ass

Aunt Hottie: I’m asking you to please go to the school tomorrow and correct the problem. It’s the beginning of the school year and Peter is already in trouble. I would go with you but I have to be at work at 6 am.

Me: No problem, I’ll see to it that everything gets sorted out.

Aunt Hottie: Thank you, Tony.

Me: No problemo

—-

The next day Tony walked into the office of Midtown Tech as 11:30 am sharp. He didn’t call ahead for a meeting. He wanted to catch everyone off guard. Off their game.

And that’s exactly what he did.

Walking in the office, he spots a woman behind a desk slash counter looking thing. She’s probably in her late 30′s to early 40′s and gives off a very soccer mom-ish vibe.

“Excuse me Ms-” Tony looks down to the name tag on her desk, “Rhodes? Hi.” He flashes his fake paparazzi smile at the woman, and when she looks up at him its like her brain short circuits, because she’s silent for a good 7 seconds.

Tony counted.

“Um, h-hi, sir, uh, M-Mr. Stark.” She stands, brushing out her skirt then trying  (and failing) to discreetly fix her hair, “H-How may I help you?”

“I would like to speak to the principle. I don’t have an appointment. I hope that’s not a problem.”

“Oh! I’m sure it won’t be a problem at all! Just a moment!” And the woman who Tony has already forgotten the name of scurries to the back of the office and disappears into a hallway.

While he waits, Tony stands there looking around at the bland looking office and shudders.

He would drop dead before having to repeat school.

Then a voice from behind him pulls him out of his thoughts, “Mr. Stark?”

Tony whips around to see Peter standing in the doorway, “Hey kiddo, shouldn’t you be in class?”

“Shouldn’t you be at the compound?”

He waves a hand dismissively, “I should be a lot of places. But you,” He points a finger at the teenager, “Should be in class.”

“Actually I was headed to lunch, but Ned saw you through the office windows while we were walking.” At the mention of his best friend, Peter jerked his head to the side, and Tony then notices the kid’s friend outside the office looking like he was going to explode with excitement.

“Right. Well. I’m just here to sort something out, don’t worry about it ki-”

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony then turns to see what must be the school’s principle, “Yes, hello. Principle Morita is it?”

Tony walks forwards and extends a hand to shake the other man’s when he notices Morita looking behind him. But before he can ask, Morita speaks up, “Was this student bothering you? I apologize. He should be at lunch right now and,” Morita pointedly looks at Peter, making him curl in on himself, “not looking for more trouble.”

Tony has to steel himself to hold back the remark he has for this man.

Instead he just says, “Actually, Peter is the reason I’m here.”

At this, Morita stumbles on his words, and finally utters a, “What?”

“Peter, come here please.” Tony reaches out an arm and Peter did as he was told, and when he got into Tony’s reach, Tony pulled him close with his arm around Peter’s shoulders, “Peter’s aunt notified me yesterday that there is a slight problem with you believing that a) he is my intern and b) I am his second emergency contact. She also told me that such problems led to disciplinary action, which I have to say, I’m not exactly happy about. Considering the shortcomings here are on your side.”

Morita sputtered a moment before, “Oh o-of course Mr. Stark. I apologize for the inconvenience, and for you having to make a trip down here just for this.”

“I don’t mind having to make trips for my kid.” Tony narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him.

He looks between Tony and Peter, “Of course. Well I will see to it that the detentions are resolved and will not go on his personal record, and I will make sure you are entered as his contact.”

Tony nodded, “Great, I’m glad that’s settled.” He turned to Peter, “Alright, drama’s over. Go back to lunch with Ted.”

Peter rolled his eyes, “It’s Ned, dad.”

Tony ruffled Peter’s hair and gave him a gentle push towards the door, “Whatever, I’ll see you this weekend. Nat found a new recipe she wants to try with you.”

“Okay, see ya!”

“Bye, squirt.”

The two parted ways and left through their own doors, leaving a confused and dumbfounded Principle Morita standing in the middle of the office.

What the shit just happened?

——

Aunt Hottie: Thank you

Me: It’s no problem, really. Happy to do it

Aunt Hottie: Could have made a little less of a scene

Me: You know that’s not my style

Aunt Hottie: Right, but how are you gonna get out of this one

Aunt Hottie: attachment: 

New York Post

HEADLINE- Tony Stark has a son?

I have a bunch of health problems, including chronic pain and C-PTSD. I’ve been told I should be having body work done regularly to help manage both, but the thought of being face-down and vulnerable for a total stranger (never mind the “naked” part) kickstarts my panic response. (Currently DIYing, but that only goes so far.) If you have any advice on how to get past that, and the time+spoons, I’d appreciate any help I can get with this. If not, thanks for listening & I hope you have a good day

unexpectedawesome:

thebibliosphere:

The good news is you neither need to be naked or laying down to receive good body work.

So the first thing to Google is clothed massage in your area, or phone around a couple of places and ask if it’s an option. For chronic pain, you’re going to want more rehab than geneal relaxation massage, so a good way to narrow that search down would be to look at places that offer sports massage or chiropractors who also offer massage in their offices.

Key words to look for are also acupressure (not puncture), deep tissue massage, mysofacial release and shiatsu, to name a few. Those are just ones I’ve found to be very good at helping to relieve pain and help my physio to be more effective. You might also find reflexology useful too for general well being.

If you’d prefer to be sitting for these, you will most likely find most places are able to accommodate this with a sitting massage chair, you just need to make sure and maybe let them know in advance that you prefer to sit than lie down so they can set it up. There are days when I absolutely cannot lie flat (I feel like I’m suffocating under the weight of my own chest a lot) so I will call ahead and let them know I need the upright table. Or if I suddenly need to sit up, we continue with me sitting on the edge of the table with the therapist kneeling behind me. So it’s really not a big deal if you don’t want to be laying down 🙂

When it comes to establishing trust, you may need to shop around before you find someone who puts you at ease. I went through maybe 2-3 people before I found the people who jive well with my mentality as well as my physical needs. This includes being able to explain to them “hey I have panic attacks, please don’t do x without warning me first”, because there is absolutely a difference between “I know you’re about to palpate my upper back” and “it feels like you’re holding me down and I am not okay”.

Magic physio man basically narrates what he’s doing to me, both so I know what muscle groups he’s targeting, but also so I know what to expect next and I’m never surprised by a sudden shift in pressure or touch. It’s been very helpful, and trust building. Makes it way easier to go lax and let him twist me about like human origami and come out feeling better on the other side.

Anyway, I hope this was helpful to you. And I wish you luck in finding relief 💖

Most massage therapists will tell you to undress down to your comfort level, so if your comfort level is taking off your shoes, we can roll with that. It’s also completely okay to tell your therapist that you’d prefer to start out face up or that you’d like to be face up the entire time. You can also ask about side-lying positions, where you’re on your side facing away from the therapist while they work on your back. It can help with vulnerability issues because you’re not entirely face down.

When it comes to modalities, gentler might be better for you as you’re easing into receiving bodywork. Look in cranio-sacral work, zero balancing, ask for a lot of jostling and rocking. All of those can be done fully clothed, and can have a profound effect on the body. Also, it’s okay to ask for a 30 minute session at first. That will help you decide if you like the therapist, if the modality works for you, if you’re interested in receiving more work, etc etc. 

Some of us actually specialize in trauma work, so always feel free to ask. <3 

My ideal beginning to a Batman movie:

Uncategorized , ,

brucewayne-speaks:

cassiesandsmark-speaks:

stormqueen280:

littlemissonewhoisall:

experimental-sponge:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

littlemissonewhoisall:

We start with a slow pan down to Gotham as Oracle narrates

“Ask your average person who Gotham’s most famous citizen is, and you’ll get the same response every time: Bruce Wayne. Everybody’s heard of Bruce Wayne. You’ve probably heard his name a million times before. But there are some things that the average citizen doesn’t know about him. See, to the people of Gotham, Bruce Wayne is a rich kid who never grew up. They think he’s a buffoon, an airhead, a moron. But the truth is…”

*Batman bursts out of a window, screaming, on fire*

*record scratch, freeze frame*

“…they aren’t entirely wrong about that.”

EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

This is then followed by a series of clips from interviews with various Gotham citizens, all of whom give humorously ironic descriptions of Bruce Wayne’s idiocy:

“Bruce Wayne? I hear the guy gets through a super-car every month! Replaces every one, just like that!”

*Cut to shot of the Batmobile flipping end-over-end after slamming into one of Bane’s APCs*

“Wayne? Please! The guy would probably have accidentally killed himself years ago if he didn’t have that butler to babysit him!”

*Cut to Alfred physically restraining Bruce from going out to fight Scarecrow while having a broken arm, a concussion, and the flu,*

“I bet he throws away cash like it grows on trees!”

*Cut to Batman shouting “Hey, Lucius! Ask R&D to make some kryptonite/Nth metal alloy baterangs! Y’know, just in case!”

“I’m almost jealous. Super rich and he gets to hang out with gorgeous women across the world? Sign me up!”

*Cut to Bruce being slammed face first into a wall repeatedly by Lady Shiva.*

Hey DC Comics!!!!!!

@brucewayne-speaks

That is…depressingly accurate.

Details From Disney Movies

catchymemes:

In The Lion King, unlike the other lions, Scar’s claws are always displayed throughout the movie.

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In The Little Mermaid (1998) when King Triton is introduced, you can see Mickey, Donald, Goofy and Kermit the Frog in the crowd, underwater.

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In Cars, the flies are actually tiny cars with wings.

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In Hercules (1997) the Fates tell Hades all the planets will align but only show 6 planets aligning. These are the 5 planets plus Earth that the ancient Greeks were aware of and could see with the naked eye.

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In Zootopia, while Officer Judy Hopps is ticketing cars around the city, she never crosses the street illegally. She always uses a crosswalk and looks both ways before crossing.

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In monsters inc, sully’s chair has a hole in it to accommodate his tail.

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In The Brave Little Toaster, all of the walls in the cottage are cleaned only as high as Blanky can reach.

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In Cloudy with
a Chance of Meatballs, during the food storm the president’s of Mount
Rushmore get pied in the face but Abe gets hit in the back just like his
assassination.

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In Cars the truck stop advertises “convertible waitresses” i.e., topless.

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In Finding Nemo, Bruce the shark starts crying when Marlin starts talking about Nemo, saying “I never knew my father”. Male sharks mate with the female then leave, so baby sharks never actually meet their father.

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The Magic Carpet from Aladdin makes an appearance in Moana.

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In UP, there are craft supplies on the table by Ellie’s hospital bed when she gives the Adventure Book to Carl.

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The hold up scene in the Incredibles is actually an homage to a similar scene from Die Hard with a Vengeance, which also starred Samuel L. Jackson.

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In Toy Story 3 (2010) Buzz Lightyear’s batteries are exposed showing the Buy n Large brand, the same company responsible for making WALL·E.

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In Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego’s typewriter resembles a skull and his office a coffin.

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In Monsters, Inc. (2001), there are multiple sizes of coffee cup for each of the different sized monsters.

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In Toy Story 2 (1999), as the restorationist is going through his equipment, he opens a drawer filled with chess pieces. This is a reference to the Pixar short “Geri’s Game” where a similar looking man plays a game of chess against himself.

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In Inside Out (2015) while going through Imagination Land a game box can be seen in the background with Nemo on it called Find Me.

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In Cars, you can spot Sully and Mike in cars form!

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At the end of Ratatouille (2007) Anton Ego is a little bit fatter. This is especially poignant since he states, “I don’t like food, I love it… if I don’t love it I don’t swallow.”

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In Coco we can see The Incredibles poster.

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Insuricare,
the company that offers “car life insurance” to the cars in Cars 2, is
the same company Bob Parr works for in The Incredibles.

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In Inside Out (2015) two of the memory orbs on the shelves contain scenes from Up (2009). One features Carl & Ellie’s wedding, while the other shows their house.

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In
Toy Story Woody is trapped in a crate which is stuck under a ‘Binford’
tool-box. Binford is the fictional tool company in the TV show Home
Improvement which starred Tim Allen, the voice of Buzz Lightyear.

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In
The Incredibles, in Bob Parr’s home office, there’s a photo from a
fishing trip where it appears he caught Bruce from Finding Nemo.

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In
Cars 2 (2011) while in a pub in London there is a tapestry on the wall
that is the DunBroch family tapestry from Brave (2012), except they are
portrayed as cars.

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In “Ratatouille” (2007), Linguini has to hide Remy before his second
day of work. He offers to hide him in his pants, revealing his briefs
covered in The Incredibles logo.

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After the plane is blown up in The Incredible, Helen (Elastigirl) knows the plane debris is going to fall on them due to seeing the reflection in the water.

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