there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces
anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure
Why do kids love it so much? Like I remember when I was a kid at diving practice during the summer, the best part was when one if the coaches would toss you into the deep end. And in gymnastics coaches would toss us into the foam pit. Do kids just have a evolutionary urge to die?
“Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. This is the sense that helps you understand balance, and it connects with all the other senses.
When the vestibular system does not develop properly all other senses will struggle to function properly. Without a strong vestibular sense, kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, experience more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking, and struggle with focusing and listening. Because they literally cannot help it.”
“Here are a few ways to support your child’s vestibular sense:
Spinning in circles.
Using a Merry-Go-Round.
Rolling down a hill.
Spinning on a swing.
Going upside down.
Climbing trees.
Rocking.
Jumping rope.
Summersaults or cartwheels.
Using monkey bars.
Skating.
Going backwards.
Swimming.
Dancing.
Wheel-barrel walks.”
Yeeting kids, spinning them, flipping them upside down, tossing them in the air, and otherwise disrupting their balance temporarily, is Important For Their Development, specifically for their vestibular sense.
Kids love this because they NEED it.
In other words: Don’t forget to calibrate your child’s GPS!
YEET THE CHILD FOR THEIR HEALTH
Hi! Paediatric Occupational Therapist here who yeets children into pillows for a living. It’s actually more than the vestibular system! It’s also giving them proprioception, which is the feeling of your joints and muscles / where your body is in space!
We all seek proprioceptive input, leaning against walls, pushing against the steering wheel when driving, giving your body a squeeze to wake yourself up, the list goes on! When we ‘crash’ kids into soft things like pillows or beds, we’re waking their bodies up AND calming their bodies down! In other words, getting them into this super nice zone of “just right” regulation.
When I see a child who is bouncing off the walls and can’t seem to stand still for more than a few seconds? I start wrestling with them, crashing them into pillows, giving their body the right amount of input they need to feel good and organised. And suddenly, this kid is able to sit and play attentively or do their handwriting practice. It’s amazing! If you want to know more about why the vestibular and proprioceptive systems are awesome at making your body feel good, google those two words (and sensory processing) and read through some occupational therapy websites!
Side note: As adults, does your body ever feel jittering/jiggly/wiggly/like it needs to move or calm down but you just can’t figure out why? That’s your sensory system saying Hey! I need to feel differently in order to function better! Here’s what you can do:
Jump up and down (vestibular and proprioception)
Give yourself big squeezes (proprioception)
Place your hands on a wall and do push ups (proprioception)
Do cartwheels (vestibular and proprioception)
Get someone to give you the biggest bear hug for at least 10 seconds (proprioception and social connection, also proven to help regulate your sensory system into just right zone!)
Get a drink of water and drink it through a straw OR blow bubbles into the water (way more fun!) (oral motor input and respiration)
Have a shower or a bath (tactile)
Stretch and do exercise (vestibular and proprioception)
Eat something crunchy or chewy (like chips or gum) (oral motor input)
Listen to some music that suits your mood (auditory)
etc etc etc! I’m sure you already have a strategy that your body has figured out works for you. I personally like to chew gum when I feel like i need to eat something but I’m not actually hungry and just need that chewing sensation in my jaw.
Long story short, everyone has a sensory system and we all use regulation strategies like the ones listed above to help make our body feel better. So if you ever see someone (especially kids!) fidgeting and having a hard time focusing, maybe suggest something from the list above!
Tok’ra: ‘We have to be careful about giving you too much too fast, humans are barely able to handle the technology they current have.’
The SGC, stealing everything not nailed down, looks up from an armful of zats: ‘Okay’
Tok’ra: ‘See, we’ve been doing this for a thousand years and we’ve had some bad experiences
The SGC, building a dialing computer from a bunch of late 90s computers and 512mb of RAM: ‘Sounds rough’
Tok’ra: ‘Absolutely, technology is very dangerous and if a culture isn’t ready for it there can be dire consequences’
The SGC, slapping a fresh coat of OD-green paint on Death Glider: ‘Well, if we can’t change your minds…’
Tok’ra: ‘Definitely not. Any technology we let you use has to be monitored by one of our agents.’
The SGC, handing out portable fusion reactors like candy: ‘That seems tedious, can’t you just trust us to promise not to look under the hood?’
Tok’ra: ‘We know your intentions are good, but like we said: past experiences-’
The SGC, yeeting a half-finished battleship across half the galaxy: ‘No no, it’s okay. If you’re not comfortable with it, we understand.
Tok’ra: ‘Thanks, glad we can reach a compromise. So, where were we – what were you up to again?’
The SGC, blowing up stars and killing an entire species of basically gods: ‘Oh, not much, just finished phasing our entire planet out of the physical universe. Got any of those tunneling crystals? We want to see what happens if we try to dig up a black hole.’
One of my neighbors had a REALLY FAT golden retriever she adopted, that needed to be put on a diet, but even super-low-cal food wasn’t working, becuase Ella was still hungry and would open the cabinet to eat the whole bag. Vet suggested that she needed a filler Food so she could feel full without the extra calories, and suggested canned green beans, which are mostly fiber and lean protein.
Ella fucking LOVES green beans. She does a dance for them if you mention them. Her ‘sibling’ the police academy washout shepherd, thinks she’s insane.
Even if your pet doesn’t like green beans*, offering them a canned green bean is inevitably HILARIOUS becuase they’ll either be thrilled or otherwise make strange faces. Results so far:
Ella (golden retriever): Overjoyed. gets up on her hind legs to dance without prompting.
Sampson (Black shepherd): Offended, yells until you give him REAL treats.
Cody (Gentleman shepherd): is concerned, becuase this is Obviously Not Food. Gently takes it to be polite, leaves it out in the yard.
Minx (Domestic Shorthair cat): Smelly Toy Is Hilarious, batted under the couch.
Tiger (Really Fat Domestic Shorthair cat): Total disgust, hissing and sulking in the Prosciutto box. Came out and ate it later anyway.
Wanda (corn snake) we didn’t expect her to be interested but she spent like three minutes licking it.
Sadie AKA Marquis De Sade (Hyacinth Macaw) ignored bean in favor of dumping can on the floor, sticking head in can and screaming. Did not attempt to bite, which is Very Nice for her.
Arwen (Australian Kelpie): ate bean, waited until humans were out of the room to consume rest of the can, got costco-sized can stuck on face and pooped green for three days. Regets nothing.
Empanada/Anderson Cooper/#3 (Plymouth Hens): Excited screaming, kickboxing tournament over possession of beans/can. #3 was ultimately victorious, becuase She is Fattest.
Big Angus (scottish highland cow, I know, ironic): very polite and delicate acceptance of beans for appx 1700 lbs of beef, will now run full-tilt across pasture to meet me, which scared the crap out of me tbh.
Will post further updates as I am allowed to try.
*Please always cionsult a vet before making any dietary changes or offering your pet new foods, but green beans are pretty safe for most pets you can keep in America
YOU HAVE SO MANY ANIMALS
Oops! just to clarify- only Charlie, Cody and Arwen belong to my family, and the rest are pets for friends and neighbors. (I only offered green bean with their parent’s permission). I do have some Updates:
Potato (domestic shorthair cat): Disgruntles hissing, bit the crap out of his owner’s hand, dumped the can out and took the can into his kitty hole. refuses to let her remove the can.
Oingo Boingo (betta fish): Got real poofy, bit the shit out of it, discovered the beans, loved them, tore the snot out of the case for more. (Pls note: frozen beans were used for this as the sodium in canned ones can be dangerous)
Dorito (Sun Conure): Delighted shrieking, happy dance, grabbed entire bag out of owner’s hand, tore it open and threw beans everywhere. climed inside bag, ate a whole bunch before he could be retrieved and returned to his enclosure.
Maureen (Domestic Longhair Cat): Small, awed “mew” before awkwardly gnawing on it. Didn’t actually eat it, but apparently she loved chewing on them, becuase whenever someone opens the freezer, she runs over and sits up on her hind legs to bed for them.
My Chiweenie back in WA is utterly obsessed and got rather round in a way that wasn’t healthy for her back so the vet suggested green beans. She thinks they are almost as good as cheese, which was the gods gift to dogs as far as both she and I are concerned. When the can or bag is retrieved she will sit up on her short little back legs and make a garbled howl like the world’s smollest hound and then end it in a sharp, pleading bark. It is fantastically adorable.
1. That’s Adorable. 2. As many people have pointed out, canned green beans can be high in sodium, so be sure to rinse the beans off or use frozen/fresh ones, and always check with your vet before making any dietary changes. 3. UPDATES:
Ravenna and Esme (former racing greyhounds): Ravenna snarled at the bag, ripped it open and barked at the beans for five minutes until Esme started to nibble at them, then they ate a 2-lb bag of frozen beans in about twelve minuts and farted for three days.
Rozencrantz and Guildenstern (Garden Snails, kept by my Nintey-five-year-old neighbor becuase he loves them) I’ve never seen snails go bananas over something but they devoured a fresh bean each in under an hour. they now get them every Sunday.
Dennis (Tennesee Walking Horse): wonderfully gentle and lippy taking the beans from me the first time. Nearly swallowed my hand in eagerness the next time they were offered. He’s a special boy.
Hagrid (Domestic hog): *Open Maw and Demonic Shrieking as I toss them in from the other side of the fence. He’s very enthusiastic about catching them and didn’t miss one, even though I’m terrible at throwing things to the point of failing PE in high school.
“Don’t speak to me, don’t look at me, and don’t you dare fucking touch me!” I refused to fall for it all again. I wasn’t going to go back after everything that had happened, and certainly not for such a half-hearted offer.
I sucked at the blood on my hand as I looked for a band aid. An applogetic noise came from behind me.
“Don’t even start,” I snapped. “I’m so fucking done with you hurting me. I show you nothing but love, and sometimes I think you love me too, but then you hurt me for no reason.”
I didn’t have to look, I just knew.
Those big eyes were looking at me. Big and soft and full of remorse.
“Sometimes you’re just impossible to figure out. You want to be with me, then you snub me a second later. You love me, you show me such affection, but then…” I placed the band aid over my bleeding hand. “Then you do things like this.” A sigh escaped my throat. “I just think…I’m done with you.”
I turned to my cat and saw those eyes, those big and beautiful eyes full of sadness and remorse. He approached slowly, warily, and rubbed his body against my leg.
Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
I disagree with this whole heartedly, they would realize you weren’t a member of their family fairly quick since they keep Immaculate track of their family trees. The important thing, the really important thing, is that they wouldn’t care. Especially if you’re acting like they are family to you, they’re just going to assume that you’re someone who needs a family and needs friends and happily provide one to you without question. Especially if you’re someone, and given that you’re sharing their clothes this is pretty likely, with similar tastes to them. Eventually they will call you part of the family but it won’t be because they don’t realize you aren’t, it will be because they’ve decided to make you one.
i’d also like to add a little tidbit here as well. the Addam’s family don’t even care if you are like them or not. in the first movie, they had basically semi-adopted their finical guy in Gomez’s strange little way of sword fighting with him. and in the second movie, Debby was nothing like them at all (in appearances and when she was acting, i mean)
they make it some kind of habit of taking in the outcasts, the weirdos, the freaks and psychos sure, but they are just generally good people as well. they may not understand you if you like pastels and fluffy unicorns and pop music, but they’ll still respect it’s your choice. heck, when their youngest Addam’s turned into well… a ‘normal’ child
they adapted! they changed to suite the baby’s needs, even as drastically strange from their own life as it was.
so in short, yes, you could absolutely be adopted into this family of absolute weirdos by either being an absolute weirdo, being ‘normal’, or what ever! they’re pretty radical
I’m reasonably sure if I showed up at Gomez and Morticia’s and said “I disowned most of my family for being abusive fuckheads and I really just need someone to talk to” I would very shortly have a room, a spot in the family cemetery, and no more student loans.
