Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.
“Yes, in the balance of consideration this person’s behaviour could certainly be interpreted as flirtatious, but it would be purest arrogance for me to just assume they actually meant what they said. I should gather more evidence. Forever.”
This is so accurate you might as well have walked into my house and shot me directly point blank.
Fluorescent lights are absolute sensory hell for me and they play havoc with my ability to focus and rest cause not only can I hear them (no one else can, but I can. I can also hear the fridge humming to itself from two rooms away so yay auditory hypersensitivity), the light itself is just awful for working in. It’s like an asmr experience for my eyes but with a cheese grater.
In our house we switched over to daylight bulbs. You might not be able to do that if your fixtures are designed for fluorescent
only like our kitchen light is, but the way weget around it is to use lamps instead of the overhead lights, so that the light pools around the room in strategic spots, rather than just blaring down like the baleful eye of Sauron. It’s far more relaxing and restful for my eyes, so I don’t get as visually or mentally exhausted as easily. In my bedroom I have a Philips sun lamp alarm clock which mimics natural light, and can be put on a timer at night to gradually dim down like the sun setting, which can be really good for unwinding and preparing yourself for sleep. (It’s also great at waking me up in the morning. No more blaring alarms for me, just a gradual increase in light that makes my body think the sun is coming out and it’s time to rise and shine.)
So yeah, if you can maybe invest in a couple of cheap lamps (floor or otherwise) that you can dot around the place, and get some daylight led bulbs. I think ours is “soft white” which has a yellow tint to them rather than that retina searing blue-white light which makes you look great in selfies but takes up more mental spoons for those of us with processing issues.
Anyway, I hope some of this was helpful? Light and sensory issues are such an individual thing to try and deal with, but I know exactly what you mean about the
fluorescent lights. It’s a pain in the butt, especially cause other people don’t always get it. Light is light, right? Turns out not so much…
My therapist is making me retake the ADHD test to see where I score now that my brain is firing on all cylinders again, as apparently severe b12 deficiency can mimic ADHD symptoms (it was certainly starting to cause dementia like ones in me, which was terrifying to say the least) and she wants to see where I land. Whether I’ll be more hyper or more inattentive or if I’ll score lower. I’ll let you know how it goes.
*wheeze*
I scored higher. I specifically scored 20+% higher on the hyperactivity spectrum of the scale, giving me a new total of being 98% hyperactive with occasional bouts of inattentiveness. My therapist is just like “oh…oh no…oh dear” I’M YELLING
Me: “So what you’re telling me is, my attention span is even worse, but now I have the mental energy to hyper fixate on them with clarity and actually keep up with all my multiple projects and hopefully finish them, is that what you’re telling me?”
Therapist, making strangulated noises over the phone: “Please don’t. You’re still recovering, please don’t start working on multiple things at once. Pick one project and try to stick with it. What about the…the vampire one?”
Me: “I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”
Therapist: “The gay one.”
Me: “…..I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific…”
Tyrant king Gilgamesh oppresses his subjects enough that they pray to the gods to stop him. The gods create Enkidu, a furry with a sense of justice, to be Gilgamesh’s opponent and teach him humility. Enkidu gets laid and goes off to fight Gilgamesh, loses, but impresses the king enough that he decides they should be Best Friends Forever. (“YOU’RE buff, and I’M buff… with our powers combined, we could be DOUBLE BUFF!!!”)
Gilgamesh and his new furry boyfriend traipse around having adventures, being ludicrously buff, killing monsters for fun, and pissing off gods. The goddess Ishtar tries to seduce Gilgamesh, but he rebuffs her because she’s notoriously a terrible girlfriend, so she sends another monster after him and he and Enkidu rip it apart. Gilgamesh throws part of its ass at her and the gods decide Enkidu should die as vengeance.
Gilgamesh is devastated at the loss of his furry boyfriend and mourns over the body for a full week, until a maggot falls out of its nose. He’s so traumatized by this and the entire concept of death that he embarks on an Epic Quest to find the secret to immortality. At this point the plot starts to get confusing and big chunks of it are missing, but he has more adventures, meets some surprisingly friendly scorpion people, hears all about how terrible the afterlife is, etc. He maybe dies and gets buried eventually? It’s unclear.
It’s thousands of years old real person incomplete fanfic.
Gilgamesh: “Utnapishtim! Tell me the secret to immortality!”
Utnapishtim: “Okay, well, first you must overcome sleep—”
Gilgamesh: [already snoring]
The best part is that when Gil falls asleep, Utnapishtim’s wife makes a loaf of bread for each day he’s asleep and just, lays them out like a glutenous calendar. So when Gilgamesh wakes up and tries to claim that he closed his eyes for a few seconds, Utnapishtim dramatically gestures to the bread, the oldest of which is already covered in mold, as if to say, you have slept for this much bread.
I also like when a snake steals Gilgamesh’s weed.
My fanfic for the missing tablets: Gil and Enkidu team up with Darmok and Jalad to rescue Dathon and Picard on El-Adrel
The breadsticks thing to me is hilarious
I think it must be another Europe/America thing bc my whole life ‘breadsticks’ have been these hard crunchy thin stick things you buy them at the supermarket and it says breadsticks on the box
Never in my life has anyone around me referred to an actual stick of bread as a breadstick lmao
But then we don’t have Olive Garden either
wait, that’s not what they’re talking about?
Are you telling me this meme is not about grissini? My life is a lie!
WHAT
I… did wonder why there would be such a focus on going to somewhere with unlimited dry wheat twigs. Googling ‘olive garden breadsticks’ does seem to suggest a tastier thing.
Huh.
this changes everything
I mean, I thought it was odd that they everyone was so excited about breadsticks… but then I thought, well, it’s America…
Wait they’re talking about actual bread???
grissini:
breadsticks:
… I want American breadsticks. ;_;
@goodbyecassiel – this is the Great Breadstick Misunderstanding, companion to the Epic Lemonade Confusion post
