jantar006:

fireheartedkaratepup:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

Ah, yes, the great Banana Famine. Dark, dark days indeed. Gather round my children, I am going to tell you a story of great tragedy.

Eons back, in a strange far away land, in a world now long gone (circa 1950), the Gros Michel reigned supreme. It was the one Banana to rule All bananas. Gros Michel (literally Fat Michael in French, also known as “Big Mike”) was the main banana cultivar grown in Central America and sold around the globe. A noble specimen, it’s thick peel and dense bunches made it resilient, easy to ship, and yes also fat. Look. Look at it. This banana is thiiiiiiiicc

hard to find good photos. it would have also resembled the goldfinger banana. looooook et it, it so thicc

so thicc. 

Ahem.

And all was well and good and peaceful.

Everything changed when the Panama disease attacked.

Ah, the Panama disease. The great banana plague. The Banana Blight, if you will. Songs were written in elegy to the terrible destruction it wrought. Like, actually. Here’s the “Yes we have no bananas” song:

It was Chaos.

Vast tracts of plantation banana trees, noble warriors, slaughtered, cut down in their prime. Ah! the grief. Ah! the loss.

But, amid the havoc of what wikipedia and I refer to as the Gros Michel Devastation Era, an unlikely hero arose. You know it as simply a humble banana. But our hero has a name:

cavendish, it’s named cavendish. 

The Cavendish banana, a cultivar that had been mass produced since the turn of the century, but only just then got it’s Time to Shine. For whatever reason, Cavendish bananas grew just fine in the same Panama disease-ridden soil that destroyed Gros Michel trees. So yeah, we planted them, fought the blight, won the war, got bananas back. 

But every war has casualties. 

Never again were bananas so tasty. Never again, were bananas so thicc.

I warned you this was the story of a tragedy. A moment of silence for our fallen comrade, please. Raise your wands to our late, great hero, Gros Michel.

(You can still get em in some places tho. Or like hybrids? idk. ) 

And kiddies, that’s the story of the banana famine as i know it.

Other deets:

BANANAS HAD SEEDS HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT IT

bananas were cultivated over time to be seedless. 

Bananas were deboned. dwell on that.

unnfff yeah

feels so wrong but so good

unnnfff

misc stuff 

• cavendish bananas may or may not be dying. We may or may not see the dark days of plague descend again. idk, look it up.
• There’s a story (not proven) that the reason artificial banana flavor tastes weird is b/c it was based on the flavor of the Gros Michel. If so, it might be cause Fat Mike had a stronger taste (due to higher levels of isoamyl acetate). idk.
• the “Yes we have no bananas” song was written in 1922 during an earlier outbreak. src.  like any good plague, panama disease has a history of hovering over it’s fearful victims, sometimes for years, before striking the final blow.
• sources are in the links above, also see the links on these wiki pages
• i swear if i get hate mail on a banana post i don’t even know what i’ll do, probably stab a wall with a fork and eat it.

I want to share one more thing with you.

I saw this with my own two eyeballs. now you have too. we never speak of this again. we take this to our graves

shhit I’m tired. 

you guys owe me a reblog on this one. Honor system, don’t mooch.

-BGP signing off

this post feels so much bigger than 500 notes 

Normal person:*does nothing*

Me:”Let me tell you the Tragedy Of Gros Michel the Thicc.”