11/2 Today Goofus the Peacock killed a mouse and instead of eating it right away, decided to wander around the pasture carrying it in his beak. The feral cats always appreciate dead-rodent-based performance art, so they followed behind Goofus single file to make a Very Exciting Dead Rodent Parade.
At one point Goofus stopped and put down his rodent and one of the feral cats dared to sniff at it, and Goofus unleashed The Most Terrifying Honk, something along the lines of I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND YOUR BONES WILL BE FORGOTTEN ON THE FROZEN EARTH WHEN I SNUFF OUT THE SUN AND SING THE STARS TO DARKNESS I AM THE DEVOURER AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS
The feral cats, previously unaware that the Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things is currently living as a peacock, ran off at about fifty miles an hour and hid under the barn for the rest of the day. They didn’t even come out at milking time to beg for goat milk, which is a first.
We probably should not have named the Death Of The Universe And The End Of All Things “Goofus,” actually.
Are you kidding that’s the Prefect name for The Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things.
i think a lot about that calvin & hobbes strip where they find a trickle of water and calvin is like “i guess we have the afternoon booked solid” or smth. i just really miss that. when you’re a kid and you get completely involved in small things without any real purpose. i remember when i was a kid i used to observe ants for long stretches of time, not doing anything, just looking at them work. there was no anxiety or guilt over being so idle, and very small things could hide a world of enchantment. i just really really miss that feeling.
with some bugs it really does feel less like the larval stage is the ‘baby’ stage and more like its the ‘normal’ stage and the bug’s final form is just their extra special final form they use to fuck
I was actually distraught as a child when I found out that an antlion was “just” a “larva” to something else but later I learned that they spend two to three entire years that way and the adult only lives for a couple of months.
Butterflies are also shorter lived than caterpillars; we can think of them more as the caterpillar dispersal system.
We also always hear about how “mayflies only live a few days” but that ignores the fact that they, too, spend years as aquatic nymphs.
same for dobsonflies, which live for maybe a week as adults, but for years as enormous highly predatory aquatic larvae called hellgrammites.
except with dobsonflies, all forms feel a bit extra. If they were pokemon they would be some late generation multi-form legendary
Pretty, graceful adult dragonflies live only for like seven months, but beforehand they spend five years as this
aquatic predatory incarnation of bullshit, which hunts other aquatic insects and even small fish with its big fucking xenomorph mouthparts.
not to make a long thread longer but i think the ultimate manifestation of powered up final fuck form is 17 year periodical cicadas
like they arent just hibernating or something, they spend the length of a human adolescence as these nymphs living underground and feeding on fluids from roots. and after 17 years their population group emerges in eerie synchronization and they all molt into their adult stage, which only survives for a few weeks . like 99.5% of their life is spent in their “baby” stage and the final .05% of it is a powered up flight capable adult form that exists solely to scream and fuck
BAMF characters who happen to be female but that’s just a detail and no one makes it a Thing
Boys looking up in awe to cool female role models
Birkenstocks. But like, cool Birkenstocks. Metallic Birkenstocks. They’re really comfy ok
Remembering great personality details about Harry Potter book characters that didn’t make it into the movies.
Gun holsters but people use them to carry random stuff, like window washing tools, or carrots for horses
Platonic physical affection. Friends messing w/ my hair.
Villains w/ musical numbers
Kids excited about stuff and adults being excited with them
Relaxing but it’s after an unusually long day so it feels extra good
Fingers brushing your skin lightly and you get goosebumps
Watching people care about each other.
Finding a new song and knowing you can play it on a loop for ages and it will be satisfying every time
When there are a lot of people around but the cat/dog chooses me specifically
When a song that was just ok intensifies and suddenly makes you Emotion
When you’re doing a new book/movie/anything and the characters make you feel strong things you haven’t felt in a while
That feeling when a story rushes into your head in incredible detail and just keeps going
Those moments when you’re falling into sleep after being awake for too long.
Getting into that imagination space that you used to do easily as a kid, and you can daydream a story and it’s super real and satisfying
Finding something new that makes you happy.
When groups without much in common support each other anyway. When differences draw people together.
When people let good things happen.
Things that used to make you afraid, but now they excite you
Telling a joke assuming no one will laugh, but they do and it’s genuine.
People who pay attention when you’re talking, and respond to you, and are present
Being tired and calm after being put through the emotional wringer
That feeling of giddiness when you meet someone and it’s Good and sort of wakes you up.
Being excited to hang out with someone.
Those bits of books/shows where there’s not much action just characters and dialogue, and it’s like you’re just hanging out with them, and they become a second family, to the point you genuinely miss them if you go without re-reading/watching for too long.
Wanting something in a way that motivates you.
When certain worries stop worrying you
When you need a hug and you get one.
Being in bad pain but suddenly it ebbs.
That feeling when you discover you’re good at something you assumed would be harder
That feeling when a moment feels profound and you can see it as a scene from a tv drama where a song is playing or about to start
When people are important to each other.
Noticing something new about your personality and liking it. When your self-image changes in a good way. Realizing you like yourself.
When you’re a person with low-key emotions and you go into a rare super happy mood and have to lie down after
Also those rare moods where something’s so funny you literally are unable to stop laughing even if you wanted to, and the next day your ribs are sore
Remembering the refrain of a song you haven’t thought about in years.
That feeling when you’re zooming out and instead of seeing the last day, week, month, you see your whole life, and the world, and the universe, and you’re hovering above it, watching
Feeling sad and being able to cry instead of arresting & going into Numb Mode
That feeling when you realize something that was hard a year ago isn’t so hard anymore.
That feeling of knowing you are getting better, and suddenly the future opens up.
That feeling of believing you are going to be okay.
throwback thursday
Once I used a gun holster to hold my epipen and albuterol at a rave? My Near Death self makes this list.
CBC made a good documentary on adult ADHD and part of it really caught me off guard because i swear they repeated verbatim my life story for the past 3 years
My ADHD manifested in excellent in-class work. Excellent understanding in discussions. Excellent participation.
My ADHD manifested in piles of homework left undone until the last possible minute, while I stared at them, thinking; “I want to get these done. I understand the theory. It would take 10 minutes. I want to start, why can’t I start?”
My ADHD manifested in fantastic reading comprehension – nigh impenetrable focus on interesting topics the first time I’m reading about them.
My ADHD manifested in a complete inability to focus on reviews or re-reads, mind skittering sideways and away whenever anything was boring or repetitive. I sat down to study, my books open, my eyes on the text, and my brain clawing its way out the back of my head to focus on something else – anything else. Focus, focus! [No.]
My ADHD manifested in Articulating wings half-finished but still beautiful, in beautiful lineart and half-hearted coloring. In stories written passionately for days until I forgot it existed and never returned. In projects started and forgotten and started and forgotten a thousand times until my bins of project supplies piled up and my bank account shriveled down. No, it will be different this time – I LOVE this new thing. This new thing is my world, my destiny, my Everything. I CREATE and CREATE and CREATE and never FINISH.
My ADHD manifested in confusion and surprise as time slithered away, hours passing like minutes and minutes seeming endless by contrast. An inability to gauge how much time had passed, was left, a task would take. An inability to hold dates in my head, because time didn’t feel consistent or even real.
My ADHD manifested in watching someone talk and not understanding a word they said – literally hearing sounds and translating out only nonsense. In thoughts so loud I couldn’t speak coherently. In a conversation across the room shattering an idea I was trying to hold. It’s hard to think when you’re already thinking about everything around you.