“Look at that pure concentration on the monk’s face as he prepares his carefully placed punches. He knows it’s now or never… He has just rolled the most natural of 20s, but it is not over yet. The only question that remains:
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you come up with some really good ones that
specifically involve the word “walnut”, but I went a few pages through
your blog doing ctrl f to try and find them but the only one I could
find was “fucking walnut”. While that is delightful, it’s slightly less
creative than I remembered/was hoping for. Help? (2/2)
HmmmMMmmmm lets see now. Putting the word “absolute” in front of just about any food is going to be a classic. As is the word “total”.
“You absolute walnut”
“You total cabbage.”
other fun insults you can use without being too mean could include “don’t mind him he’s just woken up. It’ll take another while before his brain arrives.”
“You really are an absolute pillock sometimes.” (A politer way of calling someone a “dick”, originates in the 16th century when it was definitely not considered polite.)
“Watch you don’t trip over those apron stings“ works well if the other brother is younger and implies they are too young to be out adventuring with them and should still be at home with their mam.
“you could start a fight in an empty house”
“don’t worry, he excels at bullshit.”
“you have the emotional depth and maturity of a tea spoon”
“you’re as stealthy as a one man marching band falling down the stairs”
“you’re about as much use as a chocolate tea kettle you are”
“you, a hero? well desperate times call for desperate measures…”
I’m sure there’s others I could think of, but I think I’ll throw it open to the floor 😀
My super advanced mapmaking technique – a handful of dice makes the map nice
interesting method
My question is do the die affect topography any or just set the borders?
I imagine it’s up to the person making the map. But maybe the more dice in a single spot, the more mountainous or forested the area. Maybe choose a few dice to be deemed cities, and some dice for ruins.
Maybe let the dice choose, like a nat 20 would be the world capital, and 10’s would be mountains or something like that.
1-5: Plains and fields
6-8: Forests
9-11: Mountains
12-14: Tundras and snow covered lands
15-17: Farms and towns
18-19: Larger cities
20: Capitals and castles
what would happing if all the dice landed on a 20?
then you have a very busy continent
not all of those are d20s though, so you’d have to come up with another method for the other ones
Adjusted for all dice you might have
D20
1-5: Plains and fields
6-8: Forests
9-11: Mountains
12-14: Tundras and snow covered lands
15-17: Farms and towns
18-19: Larger cities
20: Capitals and castles
D12
1-3: Plains and fields
4-6: Forests
7-8: Mountains
9-10: Tundras and snow covered lands
11: Farms and towns
12: Larger cities
D10
1-3: Plains and fields
4-6: Forests
7-8: Mountains
9: Tundras and snow covered lands
10: Farms and towns
D8
1-4: Plains and fields
5-6: Forests
7: Mountains
8: Tundras and snow covered lands
D6
1-3: Plains and fields
4: Forests
5-6: Mountains
D4
1-2: Plains and fields
3: Forests
4: Mountains
Holy shit. Definitely using this.
I swore at how simple this motherfucking thing is. You’re all bastards and i love you.
the campaign I’m DMing is approaching a narrative break, so i’ve decided my players are about to run into a shady lil thrift shop. What i need from y’all is a list of just some absolutely garbage cursed items. Like they do cool shit, but they also come with mildly annoying downside whenever you use them. Example: a sword that’s like hella cool and pretty dang powerful and real pretty and stuff but it also just fuckin. screams
go nuts
A ring of invisibility but when you put it on the ring turns invisible.
A dog who talks but instead of going nuts and barking when not given attention, he won’t stop screaming your embarassing secrets at the top of his fuckin voice
A collection of the first three Dragonlance novels inexplicably there
An extremely powerful bow but it’s enchanted to yell in your ear a moment before you let go of the bowstring.
some costume fairy wings that let you fly, but only straight up and only while you are flapping your arms like a bird
A ring enabling you to speak fluent [language] but in the most un-elite, barely mutually intelligible, generally derided dialect available.
A sentient bag of holding. Anytime you want to get something back or put something in you have to convince/bribe the bag to let you.
a set of two small bells. one is a bell that, when rung, heals the whole party for 2d6 each. the other plays Vengabus at increasing volumes and causes 2d6 psychic damage to anyone within 50 feet. they are exactly identical.
A ring that lets you cast Charm person on anyone within 30 ft of you, but the ring blares “In The Hall Of The Mountain King” at an extremely loud volume, and you must roll a Charisma Check to make sure you can shout over the ring to give commands.
Boots of dashing with laces unable to be tied Doubles your speed but you must roll percentile as there is a 50% chance of your tripping and falling on your fucking face making you prone
cloak of darkness – when you put it on, no one can see you but you’re also blinded
chris hemsworth is like a DnD character whose class 100% does not require a high charisma stat but he put it as his highest stat anyways like “hmm I think it will be useful (:” so he just walks around as a muscle-bound brawler who can also inexplicably get anything he wants from anyone by smiling at them
Him and Terry Crews
Terry Crews: high-level fighter who also multiclassed into bard, for some reason.
Chris Hemsworth: that barbarian who loves to knit.
Hugh Jackman: high level bard who was forced to take on barbarian when the party didn’t have a tank and now just wants to sing but he’s been the tank for so long it’s anyone sees him as.
